Why lie?
by Venelina
Summary: A one-shot turned full fanfic! All about how Mark and Emma's relationship is going so far and how things around the Institute have been. Can she and Mark fake true love in front of the others or will they fail? What if they are bound to stay together for so long that they naturally accept this fact and feelings start to change? Credits for image go to Cassandra Jean, thank you!
1. Chapter 1

I started shipping Emma and Mark after reading the prologue of CoHF so yeah, here is a little contribution to my OTP. This is a short oneshot, also I am trying to keep the characters as close to the originial as possible. Please excuse my English I am not native, but feel free to correct me and show me my mistakes! It's been a long time since I've wirtten anything so this is my comeback!  
WARNING HEAVY SPOILERS!  
You've been warned!  
Enjoy!

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She was under the water again. Under the deep blue ocean, that scared her so much. Her mouth was shut, afraid to open it to scream, while clenching her teeth and wrists with a furious force. She was facing the surface, she could still see the blue sky above her, could see the stars which were shining like seraph baldes in the darkness. The moon the biggest witchlight she's ever seen.

Emma was sinking and she felt a heavy weight on her chest pushing her down. She was out of oxygen. The unknown source of the pressure on her chest felt like a huge rock that was pressing the air out of her lungs and taking her deeper into the ocean, the pitch black void she was both fascinated and scared of. She was trying to push the rock away, but there was nothing to push away, there was just the heavy sensation on her chest, that was suffocating her. The stars above her and the moon were going further away from her, she was sinking, slowly but steady. Her body was numb, unable to move or struggle. She was trapped in her own body, only her thoughts fighting.

She woke up with a startle and sat upstraight, taking in a deep breath. Her forehead was wet and she was starting to adjust her breathing. A nightmare, it was all but a nightmare. She took in her surroundings and saw a hand on her lap, bellow her abdomen. _Julian,_ she tought, but after gazing at the person beside her she realized. It was Mark's. She let out a sigh and moved his hand gently away from her lap then got up.

Mark was sleeping on his stomach and didn't seem to have notcied Emma's movements. His face was burried in the pillows and his curly, blond hair covered it. The blanket on him was covering his lower back, Emma could see the tight black t-shirt he was wearing and the lean muscles benaeth it, which he got after training regularly in the Institute with his siblings and Emma. She went to her closet, fished a sweatshirt, put it on and was about to go to Jule's room to seek comfort, when Mark's muffled, sleepy voice stopped her.

''Where are you going?'' Mark's face was still burried in pillows and blankets, he didnt bother to move much, she could only see one eye, shinging bright in the dark room, illuminating everything like a light of hope. That typical blue-green Blackthorn color staring through her with expectation and something challenging. Emma didn't know what to say.

''I- to get some fresh air.'' she said in the end.

''Or you mean Julian's fresh air.'' He said still through covers and blankets and who knows what else he was covered in. Maybe he had another t-shirt beneath the one he was wearing, like last time. For a moment she tought there was a plush toy under his chin. Maybe in the end he did mange to find his old belongings and the toys he used to have and play with. He looked both sleepy and fairly aware of what was happening. Bad for Emma, he was not sleep talking for sure.

She had forgotten about their plan, more like her plan. She coudn't go to Jules, not like that. She was not allowed to do that. She was with Mark now and she should try and seek comfort in him, or at least fake it. Lie about it, just like she had asked him to lie about theit relationship.  
She pulled the sweatshirt from her head and let if fall on the floor. He was still loooking at her, challenging and even though she couldn't see his other eye, she still could see the wildness in him. The fearie in him, the Hunt.

Mark, still lying oh his stomach, patted the empty spot beside him with his hand. The hand that was on her chest a while ago and was making her think she was drawning. She couldn't remember when or how or even why he got in her room. Was it with her consent? She couldn't remember, it was all a blur.

She went back to him and laid on her back, staring at the ceiling.

''Do you want to talk about it?'' He asked gently still in the same position, still in the same muffled voice. Emma shook her head in answer. In turn Mark put his arm around her waist. She arched a bit to the side, surprised by the touch. Mark put his arm away and moved so that he was hovering over her, one arm supporting his head, his eyes concentrated on hers.

''I can go if you want me to.''

''No!'' She said a little too fast and a bit too eagerly. ''Don't go, yet.'' She added after a while. Mark nodded.

''I just had a nightmare, nothing unusual.'' She explained with a silent, tired voice.

''I'd say it is unusual if you wanted to go to Julian.'' Emma swallowed. He was able to read her all too well for someone who was a total stranger to her. She should have known better, he was the older brother in the end. There was a time, not too long ago, when he was taking care of his siblings when he had to. He took care of her when she was little as well, he must have noticed things she thought stayed unnoticed. He supervised not only the Blackthorns when they trained or played at the beach, but her as well. She was more or less a big part of the family. She was always welcomed there.

''We do that you know.'' She said after a long pause. ''We go to each other when we have nightmares and try to chase them away. Seek comfort in each other. I forgot I can't do that now. Not like this.'' Her eyes were still focused on the ceiling even though she felt Mark's gaze on her face. She swallowed again and then felt a light touch on her hand. Mark was drawing lines and circles around the bare skin. She giggled.

''Is it ticklish?'' She nodded and scratched her hand on the places where he touched her. For a moment their fingers connected without any one of them moving away. Emma looked into his eyes. She felt lost again. And maybe a little scared and fascinated at the same time. He was something different, something untamed and wild. Mark took her hand into his and gave her a friendly squeez.

''Thank you.'' she said queitly and dreamy, still lost in his eyes.

''For what?''

''For doing this for me. Lying you know. To your own siblings and the people you actually love or at least you're interested in.''

''How come ..''

''You're not the only one who can see things. I've noticed the way you look at Cristina, but also the way you look at Kieran, and in the end you're still doing this for me.''

''I owe you, after what you did for me and my brother. I owe you even more.''

''You don't have to do it. I don't want to force you into anything.''

''You said this is saving Juian, right? You said what we are doing is about him being safe?'' Emma nodded. ''Then we do it.''

The way he said the last sentence had something dangerous and feral about itself. It made him seem scary and foreign. Emma shifted uncomfortably under her covers and his touch.

''Am I intimidating you?'' He asked eyes still focused on her face.

''A little I guess. It's just …'' she trailed off, not shure how to continue explaining herself without hurting or insultig him. Truth to be told he has changed a lot. A lot more then she and Julian and the younger Blackthorns dared to admit, dared to see. He was so fragile, but so strong at the same time, so familiar and then again so foreign. He was not the Mark she last saw five years ago. Not the boy she wanted to go back to when they were cornered by endarkend warriors. Not the one who was in charge of them, the one who was serious and easily annoyed, the one who knew what was doing and was capable of standing his own ground.

Julian was all that. Julian was in chrage, Julian was taking take of everything and everybody. He was running an Institute, he was a father and a mother to his younger siblings and now ironically to his older borther.

''It's just what?'' Mark's voice chased away Emma's thoughts.

''I've never imagined myself in this situation before. This is just different and strange.'' Emma said while waving her hands above her head, in hopes to explain her thoughts better.

''Or do you mean I am different and strange.'' Amused, Mark raised an eyebrow.

''Yes and no.'' Emma said finally.

''Well, you can always tell me when I am overstepping my borders.'' Saying that he turned away from her and laid on his back, one hand behind his hand, the other on his chest, eyes closed.

''Speaking of borders'' Emma said and shifted gto her side so that now she was the one looking over at Mark with one hand proped on her pillow, supporting her head. ''When did you get here? And why?''

They've made the deal to pretend that they are falling in love a week ago, but it was the first time that Mark was showing affection or seeking closeness to her now when they were alone. He was doing a great job joking around with Emma, teasing her unobtrusively, flirtig with her, but also making sure that someone in the house saw the affection and attention he was showing toward her. She was just so worried about it all she let him do the whole job. He took the initiative and she tried to play along as well as she could, but there was a problem to that.

She couldn't play along. She couldn't fake it. Some of it felt too real and he was good at making her forget for a moment. Forget the bad things that have happened, the whole point of starting this relationship. She was going along with his flow and was sincerely responding to his actions.

Like this morning for example, when he was teasing her in the kitchen and tugging her by her braid, while she was washing the dishes, hands busy scrubbing dirty plates and forks, all wet and soapy. Only Dru and Tavvy were with them and they didn't pay big attention to them, mostly because they didn't know Mark was actually flirting with Emma, while she was complaining and threatening him and trying to spray him with water. Only when he undid her braid and her curls fell on her back and over her shoulders did they notice something was off. Emma was now asking and pleading Mark to tie her hair back so that she could finish her job while actually being able to see what she was doing and not getting her hair wet. She was bad at domestic chores and with her hair in the way it was even a bigger mess. After teasing her a little more he stood behind her and pulled her hair out of her face.

The gentleness he touched her with, threw her off guard. The whole moment has changed in a single second from a children's teasing to something much more intimate. He was standing so close to her she could feel his breath on her neck while he was caressing her hair. His fingers both warm and cold on her neck and jawline. 

''Can I try and make a braid?'' He had asked her then, with a quiet and raspy voice and Emma, all flushed and unable to speak just shook her head yes. He had then proceeded on tying her hair into a braid and complimating her soft curls. It was then when Julian and Cristina walked into the kitchen and saw them by the sink, close to each other with Mark's hands in Emma's hair which was let loose. Something Julian loved and something he didn't get to see often. This was not much of a deal if you are Cristina or the kids, but to Julian it was the beginning of a hearbreaking and horrible end. She could see the pain and betrayal in his eyes the moment they made eye contact and he left just as suddenly as he had come.

''I came a while ago. I felt lonely and thought now that I have a girlfriend I should use the opportunity and not spent the night alone.'' He opened his eyes and looked at Emma who was still lost in thought over this morning's memory. ''Do you want me to leave?''

''No.'' She said fast. ''It's just that I thought maybe you heard me and-''

''I did.'' He said. ''I was on my way here and I could hear you from the hallway mumbling something and tossing and turning in your bed.'' 

Emma felt embarrassed and uncomfortable. She was used to Julian seeing her in her weakest moments and comforting her. This was new to her.

''I shook you a little and you seemed to be fine. I got in bed next to you and patted your stomach lightly since that's how I used to calm Ty and Julian down. It seemed to work so I fell asleep myself. I guess my hand must have moved upward while I was sleeping. I woke up right after you sat upstraight. I was just curious what you were going to do next so I just watched.''

''Okay, that is overstepping your borders. You can't just pretend to be sleeping while actually watching me. What if I got undressed?''

''You actually got more dressed instead.''

''That's not the point. I don't like being seen like this.''

''Like what?''

''Like being helpless and scared and-'' She took a breath. ''In pain I guess.''

'' Emma, I've known you since you were a baby, I've seen a lot of sides from you. This was nothing new. This was a normal human reaction to a scary nightmare. It means you're still functioning right. You should be worried if you wake up indifferent to it all. That will be scary.''

It was amazing how easy it was to listen to him and belive him, how calming he was making her feel. For a moment she felt and saw the old Mark. The one who scolded her and Julian when they messed up and painted the family cat blue, got annoyed at the kids for making too much noise or actually being a caring and resposnsible brother and building them a giant fortress from pillows and blankets anfd playing with them in it. She felt secure and familiar with him. Like someone you can rely on to and let them listen to your problems and help you solve them. She felt at ease.

''Thank you.'' She said quietly and laid down beside him face looking up at him.

''For what?'' He asked and turned his head to hers. They were pretty close to each other now, but it didn't bothered Emma, nor Mark obviously.

''For saying that. It helepd, so thank you.'' She closed her eyes and let a sigh out. She felt somehow lighter now. She felt Mark move beside her and when she opened her eyes, she saw him lying on his side, just like her, mirroring her position and lookig at her on eye level. They were close. Too close.  
But little did they know it was a closeness they both seeked, craved and needed in order to mend their broken hearts and heal all the open wounds.

Mark put a hand around her waist and rubbed her back reassurlingly.

''Goodnight Emma.''

Emma shifted closer to him, until her forehead was propped on his collar bone, one hand against his chest with fingers slightly currling in his t-shirt. 

''Goodnight Mark.'' 


	2. Chapter 2

F*ck oneshots I say as I write a new chapter to the previous one. I just had this idea so I decided to put it to paper so to say. In case you want me to continue I'll will do so but only by demand since I am not very motivated to write right now as I am out of ideas. In case you want to read more and have requests on what you want to see and how you want me to develop the realationships between the characters then feel free to tell me or ask me on my tumblr: . Remember that I am trying to keep the characters as close to the original ones as possible, so if you want more explicit content, then I'll have to write a separate fic.  
Excuse the mistakes and enjoy!

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The next day was no better. Sure thing Emma had someone to calm her down, but that someone was also incredibly unnerving and had been pushing her to the edge and she was both thankful to Mark's presence the night before and both intimidated by it. She had found it pretty hard to fall alseep in someone's arms, especially if that someone was your parabatai's brother, who you were pretend dating.

She was worried that if she moved, she would wake him up; the same went for him as well. In the end they both didn't get enough sleep and decided it was better to let it go by the time the sun rose and the bright rays of sunlight came in Emma's room.

She went straight for a jog and Mark left for his room. Maybe he was going to get some quality sleep since he was kind to stay with her and not getting sleep himself. She was thankful to him for what he was doing for her. He was actually hurting his beloved little bother, blindly following her pleads and doing anything she asked of him. She knew she had to repay him somehow. Even though it was him who was repaying her, she felt indepted to him.

Emma had breakfast by herself. _Good,_ she thought. Better be alone for a bit longer. She had classes today with Diana in the library. More like meeting about the recent events in the Institute. All the Blackthorns did have classes today, including Prefect Diego, who seemed to be enjoying his stay here at the LA Institute. Especially the company of Cristina.

It was hard enough to stay awake while having breakfast, now Emma felt like the claws of a demon where pulling her toward wonderland. The crueler and bloodier version of it, but still wonderland, where she would sleep on a nice, soft, warm bed. She had stucked her head between all her notes and books opened before her, when Diana came in front of her and threw a book on the table. Emma straightened herself on the spot and woke up for a few seconds.

''Late again last night?'' Diana asked raising an eyebrow.

''Couldn't sleep.'' she told her and felt immediatley Julian's eyes on her. He knew that she sometimes looked like that after coming late or early in the morning back home after being out with Cameron or someone else. The fact that she couldn't sleep meant she had nightmares. He knew that much. He knew her better then she knew herself.

''Emma if you want to talk-''

''You are never there.'' Emma cut her off rudely and Diana seemed hurt. ''I'm sorry but it seems to me that when we need you the most, you're not here. You're the last person I will tell anything.''

Okay she was making a drama out of the situation, but she was so grumpy and sleep deprived she couldn't control herself. Plus it wasn't as if she wasn't lying. Diana was worse then Church when it came to support and a shoulder to cry on, at least that judgy, gray fluffly, bastard was there when she felt down and insecure.

''And what about you?'' Diana asked Mark, seeing that there was no point to argue with an angry Emma and pulled a book beneath his ellbow and he almost hit his head into the table. It was just now that Emma noticed he was sleeping and was looking just as messed up as her. If not a bit worse. Her morning jog and cold shower had woken her up a little, but Mark's dark cirlcles under his eys were clearly visible.

''Coulnd't sleep.'' He said groggily.

''I swear to the Angel if both of you went out and did who knows what and I am going to have to take responsibilty, I will put a 24/7 supervison on both of you.''

Emma could feel Jualn tensing up, just by the mention of her and Mark being together.

''Well, it will be a first to take care of our mess now, won't it?'' Emma asked sarcastically.

''Look, I know what happened was hard on you. On all of you.'' She said finally turning herself to everyone. ''I am sorry I wasn't there from the beginning to the end, but I was there, I was supporting you. I just have my reasons for doing it that way.''

''Whatver you say.'' Emma told her and Diana dismissed today's meeting. It seemed to be enough for all of them.

_

''Can I have a word with you Em?''

 _This is how I go down,_ Emma thought to herself and let out a sigh and went after Julian who was seeking privacy. They went outside, on the front steps of the Institute. 

''What is going on with you?'' He asked a bit angrier than worried. It was a surprise, but given what he was told a week ago, that she doesn't love him and the fact that he was now seeing her in the presence of his bother, sure made him angrier than worried.

''Bad sleep, that's all.'' She said and shrugged.

''Are you okay? Emma we should talk.''

''We are talking now.''

''I mean about us.''

''There is nothing to say. I told you what I felt a week ago. You are my parabatai and it should stay that way. Let's not make things any worse.''

''Emma we-'' he broke off when he realised his voice was a bit hectic and loud. He pulled Emma to the side and started off with a whisper. ''We slept together!'' He said amazed by the whole event that had taken place a few weeks ago.

''And it was a mistake!'' Emma whispered back.

''You love me Emma, I know you love me.'' He said it like he needed to hear it from her mouth. To hear her confirm it.

''Of course I do.'' She said with pain in her chest. ''You are my parabatai, you've always been there for me and taken care of me!''

''No I mean in a different way. In a way you've never loved before.''

''No, Julian. You are lying to yourself. If you think that by sleeping with you I love you, then that means I love Cameron and other people I've shared a bed with.''

This was it. This was pretty much the final blow she could deliver to him. She saw his face change and she felt the pain he felt around his heart. It was so painful and agonizing to see him like this. To be the cause of his suffering even when it meant good.  
He probaly knew that she and Cameron were pretty close and intimate to each other, but she was sure he didn't want to have it confirmed. To hear that she had slept with somebody already and probably other people as well. It was one thing to think and assume, but it was totally different to know the facts about someone you loved.

''What about Mark?'' His voice hoarse, his eyes pinned to the ground. He couldn't look her in the eye. He couldn't look at her and hear what he was about to hear. It was painful enough already.

''What about him?'' Emma played stupid.

''Don't pretend. You know what I mean. You're spending way too much time together.''

''Am I not allowed to? Plus we've always been close to each other.''

''But not like this."

''Like what?'' She insisted.

''Like you love him!'' he shouted and Emma froze. Seems like there was another final blow to deliver. ''Aren't you going to deny it?'' Julian asked her impatiently.

Emma rubbed her temples and tuned around and walked away a few stapes from Jualian. This was going to be hard. It was hard already, but this was taking a new turn.

''Em!'' She heard the pleading in his voice and tried her best not to break into tears. It was all too much for her. For him. For both of them and for Mark. She turned around and looked at him.

''I do love him. I love you all. I can't deny it. I love Cristina, I love the kids, I love Diana. Perfect Diego is another story, but I don't hate him … yet.'' She had a feeling he was about to do something stupid and hurt Cristina and she felt obliged to break his arms and legs, pin him to a wall and gut him while still alive.

''You know what I mean Em.'' He told her, his face and voice tired as if he was the one who didn't get enough sleep.

''I-''

''Let's go swimming!'' Tavvy burst out the front door of the Institute, Drusila behind him running towards the beach. The twins followed, Ty practically dragged by Livvy and Kit behind them with Christina and Diego, who seemed to be a big help for him. Mark came out as last and stopped to look at Emma and Julian.

''Wanna go for a swim?'' He said trying to sound more human than faerie and held his towel with one hand across his shoulder.

''I hate the water.'' Emma told him. ''But I will come with you to the beach as long as you leave me there and don't bother me.''

''Jeez you sound like Ty.'' He said and followed the others.

Emma was about to follow him when Julian took her hand and sharply turned her toward him and pulled her close to him, his grip strong on her hand, his eyes furious.

''Tell me!'' He hissed.

''Don't make a scene now that someone can see us, and let me go.'' He let her go, but was still standig close to her, invading her private space.

''Is it Mark?'' He asked her.

''What makes you think it's Mark?''

''You're different around him. You blush and act like a girl who is actaully-'' He let out a sigh and bent his head down, his fingers instantly in his hair, grabbing and pulling at it angrily. ''Like you are in love.'' His voice broke in a tiny whisper and Emma's heart actually skipped a beat. She felt his pain all too good and it was hard to act tough and desinterested.

And beside it all, Emma coulnd't believe that he was actually buying all this. It appaered jelousy and delusion was stronger than the eyes of love, but then again he saw what she wanted him to see. She let out a sigh herself and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

After not getting a response or any kind of reaction from her, Julian raised his eyes back to hers and had to actually note that she was avoiding his gaze and looked rather flushed by their conversation.

''I'm right, aren't I?'' He asked and she could hear anger building in his voice. Emma didn't answer and refused to look at him.

''Answer me Emma.'' He asked more forceful and Emma just shook her head and turned around, ready to leave him and go back in the Institute, but before she even got that chance Julian got her by the elbow and spun her roughly toward him, pulling her closer to him while grasping her hand. He was surprised to see tears in her eyes. His face suddenly changed to more gentle features and Emma was mad at herself for not being able to hold up an act. She was so busted right now, but she decided to give it a chance. One last chance before he actually caught her red handed.

''Yes.'' She said and her voice trembled. She was a horrible liar. In fact she was no lair at all.

''Yes what?'' Julian asked obviously having forgotten what they were talking about. He was shoked seeing Emma so vulnerable and so hurt, with actual tears in her eyes. That was not his Emma.

''It's always been Mark, Jules. Always.'' She said while looking into his eyes. She saw how something inside them changed, how something died as if somebody turned a light off. There was a long silence and then his expression changed to a disgusted one. He let her go and stormed down the steps. It worked. He actually believed her. This time he actually couldn't tell that she was lying.

Emma tuned her back to the beach and decided to go behind the Institute, near the small desert where she could be alone for a moment. She sat on the stone railing, which was also a side wall to the stairs which led down to the beach. It was not long after, when Mark showed up and stood in front of her carefully studying her.

''What happened up here?'' He asked her and came a step closer.

''I told Jules about us. He believed it.''

''Why do you sound so dissapointed by it? So hurt?''

''Because he knows me so well and he always knows when I am lying and now... now he believed me.'' Emma was staring at her plams which where sprayed across her lap and didn't realize that Mark was actually getting closer to her. Only when he pulled her slighlty by the hair did she lift her eyes to meet his and immediately regreted it. He saw there were tears in them and his expression changed to a concerned one. Emma looked down before he could do anything more.

''Why?'' He asked softly and gently. She knew the full question. _Why are you crying? Why are you hurt? Why are you not telling me more?_ Emma shooke her head. She was afraid the moment she spilled the beans,it will be the moment she will break into tears and she was not beautiful when she cried. Nobody was. She used her privacy to cry and then went on to conquer the world and kill some demons.

''Emma.'' He said more persistently. Emma stood still and hoped he will leave her alone if she didn't answer him. Contrary to that, he put his arms on the railing, on each side of her and leaned in closer. Emma pushed herself back in order to escape the cage he made around her with his arms, but instead made more space for him to come closer to her, now that her legs where not extended in front of her, but instead agains the stone wall, Mark was able to come closer to her, pushing her further back.

''Don't do that.'' She said shyly.

''Why not?'' He was obviously amused by her reaction.

''There is nobody to see us now anyways so no need for us to display unnecessary closeness.'' She lifeted her head to his and was surprised by how close he was leaning into her. It was unnerving and intimidating.

''Actually there is.'' He said. ''Ty has been sitting under that huge umbrella and has been observing me and the kids. He is the brains of the group and I am pretty sure we need him to believe us as much as Julian believes you are falling in love with me.''

''And you're suggesting by invading my private space he'll belive us.'' Emma remarked with a snort. It was amazing how Mark worked on her mood and actually helped her get herself together. Intentionally or not, he was a big help right now, well not it _that_ position, but still.

''If you stopped pulling yourself away from me then it might as well work.'' He was kinda right. Emma was trying to escape his cage by leaning backwards and he was leaning deeper into her and if this went on, soon she'd be lying on top of the railing and he will be on top of her. She knew this was going to be a scandalous sight for anyone from the Institute, so she stopped her attempts to 'run' away. Instead she looked at him and noticed the shape of his eyes, the intense color of both eyes, his pale lashes, the same color as his soft, curly hair. She looked at the shape of his delicate nose, his cheekbones and then his lips. His rosy lips, who looked soft and sweet. She wondered if they tasted as sweet as she saw them. She shooke off the thought, but it seemed that he was reading her mind as he was already leaning in to kiss her.

Emma caught her breath and froze. Mark stopped an inch in front of her lips before making sure she was fine with what he was about to do. After that he leaned in and kissed her full on the mouth. She was so surprised and overwhelmed by the sensation his kiss send through her body, that she frantically searched for support and ended up putting her hands on top of his, which were encaging her. Mark put more pressure to the kiss and moved his lips against her. They were indeed soft. Very soft and very foreign. It felt as if she was kissing a creature out of this world, something magical and new. She was sure it was that wildness he carried inside of him. His faerie heritage.

She wasn't sure how much access she was supposed to give him, or if she should initiate anything, but she did opened her mouth slightly out of reflex. He took this as encouragment and deepend the kiss even dared to lick her lower lip. Emma squeezed his hands and returned the pressure he was putting on her and pushed against him. She was now fully responding to his kiss, but the moment he tried to involve more tongue and to place himself between her legs she whimpered and pulled back sharply.

They both seemed to have lost themselves to the kiss and its sensation and looked rather disconnected to the reality. Confusion was written on both of their faces as if they were just waking up from a dream. This has deffinetly taken them way too far then it had been needed.

''I'm sorry.'' Marked apologized and let Emma go. He meant it. He obviously didn't want to go that far, but ended up going further then his intentions.

''It's okay.'' Emma felt her cheeks burning and put both of her palms on them in an attepmt to cool them off. Mark stepped back and Emma got on her feet and went back to the Insitute without giving him another look, without turning back. She was way out of her mind to think and handle straight.

If anyone else was more shocked and stunned then both of them and their kiss then it deffnetely was Ty, who found himself incapable of turning his eyes away when he saw his brother kissing Emma, even though he knew it was a form of violating their private time together, even if they didn't know he was watching. He just couldn't. He found this kind of affection, this kind of relationship and closeness to another human being strange and weird and interesting.  
He was amazed by the side his brother was showing, by his desire and Emma responding to him. Maybe this was a good thing, he tought. Maybe this way Mark will stay for sure and there was nobody else to take him away from them, now that he was showing this kind of affection towards Emma. Now that he was opening to someone like this. 


	3. Chapter 3

Okay guys, you have a third chapter today! Wohoo! Thank you all so much for the very, very nice reviews and encouraging comments, I didn't really know I needed to read something like that to know that I actually need it and I am very happy about it. I am very glad that you enjoy it so far and I just had an idea for the forth chapter, so I guess you won't have to wait long for it!  
This is the part were I should mention that I usually write the chapters in one attempt, very spontaneously while being extemely sleep deprived. I do edit the chapter as good as I can while actually having slept though. There are still some mistakes though and I apologize, I'll try to be more careful with them.  
Also another mention is that Perfect Diego and Emma are my brotp. That sass they have is overwhelming. So without further ado,the new chapter!

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By the time it got dark outside, Emma came to realize that Jules was not coming back soon. She knew he was very upset and angry with her, not to mention probably disgusted by the way he looked at her, moments before leaving. He probably was very disappointed by her choices and the way she was dealing with more intimate relationships, but she was also very worried about him. She didn't have much time to think about him though. After that kiss she shared with Mark her world turned upside down and now she was really lost. She felt like she had to pick between Mark and Julian, who or what should she worry about first. Her _parabatai_? Her feelings? Mark? She didn't know.

She was pacing in her room, unable to find a place to stand still and rethink everything that has happened, when someone knocked on her door. Her heart went to her feet. She wished it wasn't Mark, she was not ready to face him yet. Not somewhere where they can be alone. A brown hair came into vision as the person stuck their head through the door to check if Emma was in her room. It was Dru. Emma let out a relived sigh out and felt her heart going back to normal.

''Do you know where Jules is?'' she asked and looked around as if she was expecting to find him here.

''Haven't seen him since you guys went out to the beach. He isn't back yet?''

''No.''

''Don't worry, he'll be back, I guess he needs a time alone. He's alive and whole if that is your concern.'' Emma assured and pointed to her _parabatai_ rune on her upper arm.

''We're all kinda hungry and last time we tried to cook, we almost destroyed the kitchen and Mark got screamed at.''

''Dru you did destroy the kitchen.'' Emma corrected her. ''I'll order something, what do you want to have?'' Emma was already picking up her phone ready to make an order.

''No need. Cristina said she'll take over, but she may need help.'' Dru informed her.

Uh-oh. Cristina never wants help with cooking. She is, unlike Emma, a very capable and competent girl when it comes to mixing stuff together in boiling water and actually creating something edible and delicious and not some poisonous potion. This was a sign that she wanted to talk with her about something. Emma knew where thing were about to go.

''I'll be right there.'' She assured Dru and dropped her phone back on the bed. She let a sigh out and prepared herself for whatever was coming.

When she got to the kitchen Cristina was already cutting vegetables and putting them in the boiling water. It smelled wonderful, whenever Emma tried to cook, which was once, she managed to push the pot off the stove and almost boiled their previous cat, Oscar, to death. Since then she let all cooking be done by Jules. He was capable of handling those stuff.

''What's up?'' Emma asked and sat on a chair at the corner of the table.

''You tell me. You okay?'' Cristina asked friendly. She somehow always knew when Emma was feeling down and sensed her moods. They were pretty close to each other in the end.

''How do you think I am?''

''You seemed pressured. Like you're cornered and you cornered yourself.''

''You have no idea how close you are to the truth.''

''Want to share?'' Cristina looked at her while cutting a carrot.

''I'd rather not. It's better for everybody for now.'' Emma told her while she was looking at her delicate, fast fingers cutting the carrot at a murderous speed. She was ready to prevent her from cutting her finger off if needed.

''Okay.'' Cristina said and turned her back on her to stir the soup. ''What about you and Mark?''

Emma's heart skipped a beat once again this day. Soon she'll have to worry about dying from heart failure rather in a fight with a demon. Has Cristina saw them kissing today? She knew Ty saw, at least that's what Mark told her, she never confirmed herself if he was there, but it changed a lot if Cristina saw them. She was smart and even worse, she knew Emma and how she felt toward Julian.

''What about me and Mark?'' She asked naively.

''You two seem odd in the last few days. Has anything happened?'' Cristina still had her back toward her, but Emma could see the slight change in her shoulders as she asked the question.

''Well a lot has happened.'' Emma told her. ''Plus it feels like I am getting to know him anew. He has changed so much from last time I saw him, I kinda want to see that change, want to see the difference and the old Mark.''

''It seems so. All Blackthorns are so careful around him, like he is a stranger. Has he really changed that much?''

Emma thought back, five years ago when the Institute was attacked. Mark told Julian to stay with her, took his weapons and headed outside to fight. He was the older one then, not in terms of age, but in terms of responsibilty and taking care of the younger Blackthorns and Emma. He was a capable, confident, and often annoyed by his younger siblings, Shadowhunter. He was her example of a protective older brother, of a responsible young adult, of someone able to make decisions. He was a mess now. He didn't know what he was or where he belonged. He was torn appart and incapable of taking care of himself, let alone someone else. He has changed so much it hurt her to see the hurt in the eyes of the Blackthorns. He was broken so many times, he has lost himself. She came to realize that Mark was actually getting to know his old self and old life.

''Yes.'' Emma said finally. ''Yes he has.''

Before Cristina could ask anything else, Livvy came in followed by Ty.

''Cameron is here.'' She told Emma.

Great! Full hoouse. Now the party could begin.

''What does he want?'' Emma asked a bit hostile.

''To talk to you obviously, but he kinda stopped short and is waiting for you at the entrance.''

''Why so?'' Emma asked and raised an eyebrow.

''He saw Mark.'' She told her and Emma immediatlely jumped from her chair.

Oh boy this was getting out of hand. Cameron was not informed about the return of Mark Blackthorn, so this must have taken him out like an unwanted surprise party.

''I'll check on them. You stay here.'' Emma told them.

''But why?'' Livvy asked, before she could protest further, Emma saw Ty put a hand around his sister's wrist and talked her out of it by just giving her a light squeez. Livvy seemed to have agreed and Emma nodded at Ty as a thank you and stormed off to the entrance of the Institute.

''Who are you again?'' Emma heard Mark ask as she approached them. Cameron was staring at Mark as if he was beginning to question his sexuality, but Emma knew better. Ain't nothing straighter than an Ashdown and a Herondale in this wolrd. Well the latter didn't quite apply ever since she came to know Kit.

''That's Cameron Ashdown.'' Emma introduced as she descended the stairs and came to stand beside them. ''What are you doing here?'' She asked Cameron and turned to him. ''At this hour?''

''You are not picking up your phone.'' He told her.

''Yeah, there is a reason for that, it's called _I don't want to talk to you._ ''

''I came to check in on you.''

''Obviously, but you came in in our home uninvited, without a notice at this time of the day. If there is an emergency you better tell me right now.''

''I am a Shadowhunter, I need no invitation for an Institute, that's where I belong, that's my home as well.''

Well, he was right about this one. It was not like Emma could kick him out because he was breaking in her home. He had the same rights, she and the rest of them had when it came to visting Institutes. She couldn't argue with that. Before Emma could reply with something witty and very possibly insulting, the front door opened and Perfect Diego came in.

Diego seemed as surprised as the trio in front of him. He saw some familiar faces, some not and sensed not a very welcoming situation either, but he has learned that when it came to Emma nothing was ever welcoming, especially if you posed a threat to her friends or just your face annoyed her. He guessed right now, it was the latter.

''Who are you?'' Both Perfect Diego and Cameron asked each other. Emma could feel her veins pulsing on each side of her temples.

''Perfect Diego meet Cameron Ashdown.'' Emma introduced and indicated to them with her hands.

''Your name is Perfect Diego?'' Cameron asked and raised an eyebrow. There was a slight mockery in his voice.

''That's how Emma chose to call me. I am Diego Rocio Rosales, a Schlomance gradu-'' 

''Yeah, yeah whatever, thank God you don't have ten names like some Mexicans, I would have kicked you out already, why do you even think I did the whole introduction for you? Because you have to brag about everything!'' Emma was losing her cool and all of those idividuals were making her nervous and aggressive. Especially when they were all together in the same room. 

''Why do you call him Perfect Diego?'' Cameron asked and Emma rolled her eyes. After the introduction Diego tried to make, this was all that was left in his head. Why Emma called Perfect Diego, Perfect Diego? She rubbed her temples.

''Can't you see?'' she asked with a witty smile on her face.

''Wait.'' Cameron squinted his eyes and looked from Emma to Diego, while slightly pointing at them with his index finger. ''Are you dating this guy?''

''Dios mio.'' Diego said and crossed himself. Emma gave him a dreadful look. ''Do I look like I have a dead wish?'' He then asked Cameron.

''So no?'' Cameron asked unsure.

''No!'' Emma and Diego said in unison.

Before anyone could speak the front door opened once again and Julian came in.

 _Awesome,_ Emma thought. She was pretty sure this was like a nightmare come true for Julian. Her attractive ex, an annoying, good-looking and insanely hot Centurion, whom Emma herself acknowlaged as hot, and her current love interest and at the same time his brother. All in one place. All of them together as to serve as a reminder that Emma had it good before Julian and that she will have it good after him. Julian stared at them, before looking at Emma for a while and again divertig his gaze elsewhere.

''What are you doing here?'' He asked Cameron and pointed towards him with his chin.

''Why aren't you asking what this Perfect Diego guy is doing here?''

''He is staying here.'' Julian answered evenly as if the conversation was something trivial. Julian had no emotion on his face. He was more or less his old self. He closed the door behind him and went up the stairs, obvious sign he did not want to take part in whatver was happening between them. He didn't belong in the that club anyways. Plus he saw that Emma was pissed and he was not in the mood to save the guys. He wanted some of them gone anyways.

''And what about Mark, why didn't you tell me about him?'' Cameron turned to Emma.

''None of your business, plus we weren't allowed to talk about his return until recently. A lot of things happned and you missed a lot and I don't have the time or the nerves to tell you, so please if you don't have anything better to say just go.''

''I just wanted to talk.''

''Good. I don't. That's what having broken up means.''

''Em.'' Cameron began pleadingly and stepped closer to her.

''I think you're forcing your luck.'' It was Mark that spoke this time. He was so quiet Emma almost forgot about him. He had his long arms crossed in front of his chest and seemed to have been observing the situation, until now, when he decided to speak. ''Nothing good comes out when it's forced out.''

''This is kinda between us.'' Cameron told Mark. Emma went pass them and to the door where she seized up Cortana.

''Wow, wow, wow!'' Diego raised his hands in a protective manner. ''That is not how I wanna go down. Plus I don't think even I would be able to hold her down, you better leave now or she'll cut us all into tiny pieces and feed us to her cat, right?'' He turned to Emma at the last part and winked. She smiled at him.

''My fish. I'll feed you to my fish.'' She corrected and gestured to the door for Cameron. ''We'll talk when I feel like talking.''

Cameron took one final look at Mark and Diego before finally leaving. Emma shut the door behind him and hung Cortana back into place. Diego approved of her decision to leave the weapon, not to mention he felt relieved and more secured with Emma unarmed, and then went away, leaving Emma and Mark alone.

They both seemed unable to say anything so Emma decided to go back to the kitchen, when Mark stopped her.

''Should I be worried?'' He asked her. Emma turned to him.

''Worry about what?''

''That boyfrined of yours.''

''He is not my boyfriend.''

''Not anymore.'' Mark added as a statement.

''Not anymore.'' She added as a confirmation.

There was a short silence and an akward sensation to it as well. Emma was ready to leave again, when Mark came closer to her.

''You felt it too, didn't you?'' He asked and looked at her with a mischevious curiosity.

''Felt what?'' His mysterious way of talking was almost making her angry and impatient.

''The kiss, it's sensation and what it brought to us.''

She did not expect him to bring up the kiss. Not this soon. Not like this. Not at all.

''I don't know what you are talking about.''

''Sure you do. _The storm calls out to you as it calls out to me, right?_ It was hard for you to pull away, it was hard for me to let go. It was a wild sensation. Something we both needed and probably desired.''

Emma felt very uncomfortablre and flushed at his words. She avoided his gaze, but the fact that she could feel his eyes on her was not helping her very much. She looked him in eyes. And there it was again, that feral, alien look in them. This untamed wildness that was indeed calling out to her, pulling her to him. The more she was staring at his eyes, the harder it got to divert her gaze away. It was as if trying to pull away to magnets, that were stuck together so hard, it would cause damage to attemt separating them.

Mark closed the short distance between them and put a gentle kiss on the top of her head and then patted and ruffled her hair. Emma felt like she was about melt into the ground.

''I'll see you later.'' He told her and left her alone in the big room, where Emma suddenly felt very small and very not in control of her body and emotions. 


	4. Chapter 4

Well, looks like I finished this one pretty fast as well. I have an idea for a fifth chapter, but I don't know when I will be able to upload it since this week I am travellig and I won't be home with my laptop for a week so you might have to wait a bit longer for the next one.  
Thanks again for the lovely reviews and I apologize again in advance for any mistakes I have overseen.  
Enjoy!

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When Emma got to the kitchen, everyone else was already beginning to dig in the delicious food that Cristina has cooked for them. Julian, Emma had to notice, was not present. It was no surprise either. If she was in his position and didn't know what was happening and was constantly reminded of his past and future relationships, she would also lock herself away.

She sat between Livvy and Dru, across from Mark.

''What about Julian.'' Cristina asked and served Emma a delicious bowl of soup.

''He's not hungry.'' Emma lied. ''I'll bring his food to him after we're finished.''

''We are out of products, we have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.''

''Leave it to me.'' Emma volunteered.

''You can't possibly go shopping for ten people by yourself.'' Perfect Diego remarked from across the table, where he was sitting between Cristina and Mark.

''Try me.'' Emma told with her mouth full.

''Stop it you two! I'll go with Emma. We'll take the car and do some quality shopping, okay?''

''Sure.'' Emma was glad to spet some time with Cristina. Maybe if she relaxed enough she would tell her the problems she was currently dealing with.

''We need to clean up the house.'' Livvy added. ''Diana's been complaining about the lack of neatness and order we posses.''

''Maybe because we posses none.'' Ty said while staring at this bowl.

''Then she should clean it herself.'' Emma told to no one in particular. Cristina scowled at her direction, but said nothing. Emma knew she was trying to make things easier and less hostile between everyone. She's been preventing fights and arguments all this time. Litte by little she had taken the part of a mother. Maybe Emma shoud really let Livvy set her up with Julian, but with Perfect Diego around, this was impossible. Emma could see the way she looked at him when she thought nobody was watching.

''I'll need to stay and help with the cleaning. The others will need supervision with it.'' Cristina told Emma and looked apologetically at her.

''I can go with Emma.'' Mark said. ''I can go outside now, more or less at least. I want to go outside and see for myself how much this place has changed.''

''I'm not sure it's a good idea.'' Diego said concerned.

''I'm not sure anyone here asked for your opinion or permission.'' Emma said evenly.

''Okay you really need to stop it!'' Crisitna raised her voice. Emma and Diego just shrugged. It was their way of communicating, but Crisitna was still worried Emma might jump at him and then there was no stopping both of them.

''Tina I've done much worse in the past month than taking Mark out for grocery shopping. I am nearly certain that we will return safely with the food.'' Emma tried to assure her as best as could, while staying true to her sarcastic nature.

''You see that nearly part is worrying me.'' Cristina told her.

''Worry not, I am not visiting any Shadow Markets.'' Emma grinned brightly at her.

''That's because none are open at that time of the day.'' Cristina let out a sigh. ''Let me write the stuff I we need.''

~~~~~~~

After finishing dinner, Emma took a tray with food and went straight to Julian's room. She was not surprised to not find him there. She went to the studio and knocked on the door before opening it. He was not in there as well. His private room must it be then. Emma put the tray down on the table and went to the other door and knocked.

''Jules.'' There was no response. Emma knocked again, this time with more force. ''Julian.''

There was still no answer. Emma exhaled and put her forehead on the door, one hand still on the massive wood ready to knock.

''Have something to eat please. I left you the tray on the table.'' She was ready to go, sure of the fact that Julian was not going to touch his food. Like his uncle. She's forgotten about him, and Julian was in no shape to care for his uncle right now.

''I'll bring one to Arthur as well.'' She said before stepping away.

''I'll do it.'' She heard him say behind the door. She didn't know how to respond to that or if she should insist on talking with him right now.

''Cristina and the kids are going to clean the house tomorrow.'' She informed him while looking at the locked door. ''Me and Mark are going grocery shopping.'' She added finally.

When he didn't say anything and the door didn't open, she gave up for today and turned around to leave. There was suddenly a loud and an abrupt sound behind her. It was Julian, who has opened the door a bit too aggressively and came toward her with a stern expression on his face. He caught her by the arm and pulled her to the room, slammed the door shut and pushed Emma against it, pinnig her by the shoulders in a painful grip.

''What are you doing?'' Emma was shocked by the sudden movement and mostly by her slow reaction. Her guard was exeptionally low when she was around Julian. She felt secure and protected around him so it was easier for him as well to take her by surprise.

''Are you going to rub it in my face now?'' He asked through gritted teeth. His breathing was fast and on short periods. He was mad and was trying not to let it all out on her. He was trying not to give to the anger he felt, his eyes were wild, almost like a cat, which is about to kill its prey.

''Let me go.'' She said calmly, without trying to free herself. She first needed to make sure he was able to listen to her and hope that he will come back to his senses and realize that what he was doing was not fine. He didn't. Instead he pushed her harder against the door and tightened his grip around her shoulders. Emma tensed because she was trying not to fight back. It was in her blood to fight back. Just because it was Julian didn't make any difference to her. She enjoyed training with him, but now she wouldn't enoy fighting for real.

''Why are you doing this to me Emma?'' He growled and shook her a little bit.

''Julian. Let me go, you are hurting me.'' She repeated calmly, but her own breathing was getting ragged. She put her hands around his wrists as a signal for him to let go.

''Why does it have to be Mark?'' Julian didn't seem to notice her hands on his, his eyes were pinned on hers as if there he will find his answers. Emma pushed at him lightly, but that was not a good idea as well since their bodies touched and Julian was not supposed to see the effect he had on her. He was supposed to see her falling in love with his brother, being happy with him.

Julian let her go and turned around.

''Are you going to play with him as well?'' He asked, his back facing her.

''What?'' This felt like a slap to her face. How could he ask her something like that.

''You know, like you did with me? Like you did with Cameron?'' He turned around to look her in the eyes and Emma saw his pained expression. ''He won't be able to handle it Emma! It will break him if you betray him as well. He may never come back to his old self if you were to hurt him and if he left us, I don't want to blame you for it. So don't do it. Don't deceive him.''

Emma was shocked. Julian was actually accepting this in his own masochistic way. He was being as selfless as always, thinking about his family first, then himself. More then ever Emma wanted to go to him and hug him, assure him that it will be fine, touch him and stop his pain. But she couldn't. She was the one causing him pain.

''I can't.'' She said in a small voice. She wasn't sure if he heard her. ''It's too late.''

Julian's head sank.

''Don't hurt him. Just don't do that.'' He told her and came towards her. Emma stiffened for a moment, before she resalized that Julian was reaching behind her and opened the door. ''Leave me alone now.'' He told her, avoiding her gaze.

Emma stepped out and watched as Julian locked the door and left her alone in the studio. She felt teribble. There was no place for her to seek comfort in. There was nobody. She had Julian, but Julian didn't want her. She destroyed her haven and now she was lonely and empty and scared. There was no place for her to go to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not paying attention to where she was going, Emma ended up in the room with her father's violin. The room was dark, but thanks to the full moon and big window, there was a low silver light coming through. The window was opened and Emma could hear the crashing of the waves against rocks. She could hear the strom that was coming. The strom that was calling out to her.

She entered the dusty room and looked around. It was a room nobody used. There were old stuff, nobody needed, but also nobody wanted to throw away. White sheets covered furniture and other objects, like the violin that once used to play a happy tune. The viloin that once came to life at the touch of her father's gentle fingers. Emma removed the sheet and revealed the box in which the violin was kept in. She slowly straced her fingers on it before opening the box.

She has attempeted to play the violin and her father has attempted to teach her how to play it. But the result was always the same. Instead of the heavenly sounds her father was able to produce, a sound that even Raziel would have enjoyed if he wasn't so grumpy, Emma could only produce the sound of horror and the screaming of hundred dying cats. _Don't use so much pressure, press lighter here, hold the bow as if you are holding something that may break by the lightest touch,_ her father had told her when he was trying to teach her. But Emma distributed the pressure elsewhere, causing the hair on the bow to actually come off and Emma stared in horror. _What have I done?_ Her eyes told. She thought she ruined her father's precious violin forever, but he had just laughed and assured her it was fine. This part was repairable. Emma was since then scared to touch the tender instrument and let all violin playing be done by her father. She just enjoyed listening to him, this was always enough for her.

It was then that Emma realized her hands, her fingers, they were not meant to hold this kind of intrument. Her hands were the hands of a warrior, of a fighter. The hands of someone who could only bring destruction and death, not the hands of someone capable of creating something as beautiful as what her father was able to create. He had then told her that she should not be disappointed, for what she was able to do was also an art. The art all Shadowhunters learned and some did better then others. She took pride in her ablities and trained harder. Maybe all this time she was trying to compensate for the lack of a gentle side, the lack of being able to create, not just destroy.

Her father was proud of her, she knew. She saw it in his eyes, the way he encouraged her to do better. He saw that she was meant for it. He saw that she was meant to be a true warrior, a powerful and respected one. A fearful fighter.

Emma touched the strings on the violin and felt a pang, the momet she heard the sound they made. This was her only connection to her family. To all that she was. She ran her fingers along the strings, before being unable to take no more. This was not the sound she needed to hear now. She should let go, she should learn to live without it, but it hurt so much. It was all a memory, a sound in her head. The moments she has spent with her father, he playing the violin and Emma daydreaming.

She slammed the box shut and closed her eyes. After feeling ready enough she covered the instrument with the white sheet and stared at it. This was the only family member left. The only thing that made her feel close to her parents, to feel them alive. One day she will learn how to play the sounds her father used to play for her and her mother. One day she will be able to hear them again, to hear the momories and relive them. She could imagine herself, playing the violin and her parents, looking at her with pride.

Someday indeed. But today was not the day. She still had a lot to learn as a warrior, she was not finished with her training, there were other things to do first. But one day, she promised herself, one day she will accomplish her goals.

She left the room and decied to go to the roof, where she could watch the storm, where the storm was calling out to her.

Mark was there, but this was no surprise to her. She knew he was there, he was as fascinated and as pulled to the view as she was. She sat next to him and stared at the restless sea. The water so dark, it appaered black, like the heavily clouded sky above it.

''It's beautiful, in a very cruel way.'' Emma said, her eyes on the sea. Mark shifted slightly beside her.

''You actually let yourself be led by the wild.'' He stated and looked at her.

''There is no point in pretending when I am with you.''

''There in none indeed.'' She felt him smile beside her, not mockingly, just smiling.

''But how come you can see that?'' She asked and this time she searched his eyes. There was something challenging in them, when he looked back at her.

''You and I are alike.'' he told her and for a while returned his gaze to the sea.

''How so?''

''We give in to desire, while loving something or someone completely different.''

''I don't-''

''That Cameron guy.'' Mark cut her off. ''You don't love him. You never have and never will. You just give in to the desire you feel, the need to let go for a moment and enjoy other deeper and darker places.''

Last time Emma checked Mark was no medium, who could get in her head like that. He most certainly was not someone who could read people like that, or was he? Maybe she hadn't payed attention back then, but now it was different. The way he talked, the way he walked, the way he looked at her. Knowingly what was going inside her head. He was only looking at her that way, because as he had said, they were alike. They were pulled toward each other by desire.

''You love Julian. You always have, but you are one of those people who are able to share their body with others, but keep their heart for only one person.''

Emma shivered, but not because of the wind. It was his words, which were making her itchy all over. Her skin felt hot and cold at the same time.

''I am able to do that as well. I can share intimacy, kisses, body with anyone I want, but my heart stays loyal to only one person. That is why I agreed to your request. I feel drawn to you and I want to learn how to severe the connection which is keeping my heart a prisoner. Maybe if I give you a lot, eventually my heart will be set free.''

''I don't think I can.'' Emma said absently. Her eyes were all over his face searching for something, she didn't know what exactly, but her eyes were searching.

''Of course you can.'' He assured her and gave her a develish smile. ''You had previous realationships while being in love with Julian, you shared your body. You kissed me back when I kissed you today.''

''I pulled away!'' Emma tried to defend herself. She felt like a kid. So stupid and looking for any kind of excuse to make her point valid. To prove that she didn't want that kiss, didn't wanted to respond to it.

''Only because you liked it and it scared you.''

Emma's eyes got wider and she stood up. She couldn't take it anymore. She was only to get angrier and nothing good came out when she got angry. Mark stood up as well and faced her, looking at her eyes, while she was desperatly trying to look away. She couldn't, it was as if he had her under a spell. She couldn't move either, when he put a hand on her arm and came closer to her. He closed the short distance between them and was just looking at her.

''There is no need to lie to yourself when you are with me Emma. I am like you. I liked it as well and it scared me.'' He told her, his breath warm on her face. Emma was almost shaking. This was driving her crazy. This short distance between them. They were so close to each other, they could feel each other's breaths and hear each other's heartbeats, but at the same time, she felt so far away from him.

''I can'' he said in low, silent voice, his head coming toward hers ''prove you.''

He stopped an inch before her mouth and waited for her permission. His eyes were focused on hers and Emma's were on his, but hers then shifted to his lips and stayed there. Without actually realizing she licked her own lips before taking Mark by the collar of his jacket and pulling him hard against her.

Their lips crashed hard and Emma didn't wait long before slipping her hands around Mark's neck, pulling him closer to her. So close that they were almost fusing in one person.

Mark quickly put his hands around Emma's waist and pulled her harder to him. He was surprised by her suddden reaction and the fact that she actually kissed him, but he was quick to react to her needs. He was kissing her, not holding back this time, his hands running up and down her back.

This kiss was different from the last. There was nothing preventing them from touching now. Their bodies were melted into one, they could feel each other's heat, skin, muscels. It was not a gentle kiss either. It was a wild one, full of desire and need. Like they were trying to tear each other apart, fighting for dominance. This time is was Emma that bit into his lower lip and was eager enough to deepen the kiss.

They were pulling at their clother so hard, trying to be so close to the other, to make sure they were glued on them, that it practically seemed as if they were dancing. They were moving around the roof, almost on the edge, but careful enough not to fall from it.

When Mark slipped his hands under Emma's shirt and dug his nails in her back, she hissed in pain and sharply pulled away from him. Mark was confused for a moment. She was so passionate about this, and now she was on the defensive again. He looked at her expression, her gritted teeth and followed her hand, which was carefully placed on her lower back and realized. He hurt her. He actually caused her pain. He has totally forgotten, about the lashes she had taken for him and even though her back was healed, it was still a vulnerable place. It was her weak place.

''I am so sorry Emma!'' He said with a panicked expression. ''I forgot, I am so sorry! I didn't want to, it was not my intention.''

It hurt Emma to see him so scared and vulnerable. A moment ago he was the wild faerie, who was eager to take her shirt off, to feel more of her and now he was this tiny, vulnerable human being which was reminded of all pain he had caused and felt.

''It's fine. I am not very fond of my back being touched like that now.'' She smiled at him a bit mockingly. Mark didn't seem to feel better, but her smile encouraged him that she was indeed fine.

Emma turned around to leave and stopped before going back inseide. She turned to Mark and looked him in the eyes.

''You are right.'' She said and he raised a questionable eyebrow. ''We are the same, you and I.''

She turned her back to him and left.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay people so I had an amazing week with my classmates in Ireland ! Amazing nature though the weather is crazy af and changes in 0.5 sec from warm to windy and rainy and from summer to winter . The highlight for me was deffinetly when me and my classmates went to a Disney store in Dublin and got the chance to take pictures of Star Wars cosplayers and those were two storm troopers and KYLO REN! The quality of the costumes was amazing and those guys were tall which made them quite intimidating since they were walking around with lightsabers and guns and the Kylo Ren guy was insanely quiet and he just walked around and I bumped into him but he he was quiet af. Very intimidating indeed. I got the chance to see a lot or at least enough. We visited the Titanic museum in Belfast and went to Victoria Square after that. All in all amazing experience my host family was like those super sweet and nice and helpful people who drove us around to the city centre in Bray since we were quite far away from it and the food was good. It was nice to see the sea again since it's been years I went to one. Boy is it windy and cold around it, though not in California I guess. I'd be really happy to get reviews form people who live in Ireland, especially Dublin, Belfast and Bray since that's where we went and where I stayed. Anyone who also got the chance to visit Ireland and even was in that Disney store with the Star Wars guys please let's hope they are reading this fanfic I intended to be a oneshot . Enough of my trip and what I did after a long wait I present you with a new chapter. Enjoy !

BTW: This chapter is based on my adventures with food in Ireland, especially dinner time with my friend and the jokes we made about how they put something in our food to make us laugh about evey little thing that happened while we were eating. You'll get me as you read the chapter. ;)

Emma was having hard time sleeping. In fact she was not sleeping at all. After everything that happened between her and Julian, and even Mark, her nightmares seemed to have doubled. She woke up sweaty at least twice a night, scared and unable to fall asleep again. So when she knew the sun was about to come up, she decided to take extra long runs on the beach so that she can work everything out. The fear, the emptiness, the pain. Everything she was afraid of and couldn't face. It was ironically how she thought, that by knowing who killed her parents and why, she would find peace again. She couldn't have been more wrong. She felt betrayed and torn apart and severing her relationship with the person she wanted most to be with, didn't help her at all.

Emma returned to the Institute at around nine o'clock in morning and she noticed everyone was getting ready to clean up. Everyone except Julian. She decided not to take it much to heart and after a quick shower and change of clothes, she was ready to go shopping. She took the fairly large shopping list from Cristina and headed to the car when Mark stopped her.

''Trying to sneak out without me? I thought we had a deal?'' He took the stairs two at a time and stopped in front of her. Emma had forgotten about him and the fact that they were supposed to go together. Now she was suddenly reminded of their kiss last night. More of her own bold actions and the things she did and said. She felt like running away, but there was no running away. She was way too deep in the grave she digged for herself already.

''Sorry.'' She apologized and started walking again towards the car. Mark fell into step with her and tried to get closer to her. Emma noticed how he was trying to get a hold of her hand, but she decided to pretend that her hair was not exactly into place by working on the knot. She was not feeling like repeating yesterday's mistakes. Not in broad daylight.

''Can I go with you?'' A voice from behind stopped them. Emma and Mark both turned around in surprise. It was Ty. They looked at him for a while, none of them unable to say a thing. It was surprising that he wanted to come with them. He didn't like it much to go outside, not unless his sister was with him. Now he seemed eager to come with them.

''My room is always clean and I don't let anyone touch my things. I can't be of much help with the cleaning anyways.'' Ty said to make a point.

It was true, Emma knew. He had his way of putting things together and nobody was allowed to even dare make a comment about his way of doing things. She also knew he was not into cleaning, just like her. Another helping hand would be great for carrying bags. His presence would also not allow Mark to act the way he wanted to act. It was a gift from the Gods that Ty wanted to go shopping with them.

''Yes, sure thing.'' Emma said and smiled. Mark looked at her a bit surprised and something else she couldn't really identify.

They got into the car, Emma behind the wheel as she was the only one of them able to drive and with licence, Mark on the seat next to her and Ty behind them. This was deffinetly a new feeling to her. It was the first time Mark and Ty were with her, in a car. She was used to having Julian or Cristina next to her, but with Mark she felt strange, not to mention the fact that Ty wanted to come with them. There had to be a reaason behind this. Ty never did something without having a good reason for it. She knew how much he loved detective stories and how he liked viewing himself as one. Maybe he was trying to figure things out between her and Mark. And if this was true then Emma had to be convincing in her performance, because Ty was very good at noticing the details. She felt like was under a microscope the moment their eyes met in the rear-view mirror. Ty looked away since he hated eye contact and hadn't expected one to happen.

''Put your seat belts on. I don't want to get screamed at by your siblings, Cristina or Diana if somethig were to happen.'' She told them and started the engine.

''You're a good driver.'' Mark teased her. Emma let a side smile twist the corner of her mouth for a second.

''Put on your seatbelt.'' She said again, but this time a bit roughly. Mark did so and Emma pulled the car out of parking and drove the main road.

''So where are we going?'' Mark asked.

''Supermarket. We need to buy a lot of stuff, so why go to different places when we can buy everything from one place.'' Emma answered without taking her eyes off the road.

''Cristina mentioned something about going to the Market and buying all fruit and vegetables from there.'' Ty said from the backseat.

''Then I guess after the Supermarket, we're stopping at the Market as well.'' She said under her nose.

''You don't seem happy.'' Mark stated.

''Grocery shopping is not one of my favourite activites.'' She answered.

''I meant it more like you're not happy having me around.'' Emma felt the rush of her blood and her grip on the wheel tightened. Boy, he sure had guts to say that in presence of his brother. She didn't answered and just concentrated on the road ahead of her.

''You should teach me how to drive.'' Mark said with a sigh and leaned back in his seat, looking at what was in front of him.

''No way in hell.'' Emma said and laughed. He was joking, right? He had to be! He better be.

''Why not? Julian won't teach me that much is clear, my only option is you.''

''I feel like Julian will kill me the moment he even hears about this.'' He was not joking.

''Teach me and Livvy as well!'' Ty said from behind them and came closer so that he can be in Emma's peripheral vison. He sounded quite eager about it and Emma felt her hair going up. They both sounded quite serious about what they were requesting.

''Didn't you hear what I just said?'' Emma asked and looked both of them for a brief moment before returnig her eyes on the road. ''Julian won't be happy about this and he will burn the car before I even start teaching you the basics. Plus you'll need to do it like a mundane in order to get licence.''

''He seems quite unhappy now too, but if we ask him I am sure he won't have the time for it. That's why I am asking you Emma. Plus you will help him this way too. He won't have to take care of this if you're willing to help.'' Ty told her and his words did make a good point. Only Mark and Emma knew what Julian was going through, what he did, what he hid, how he did it, why he did it. This was one way to take away a bit of the weight on his shoulders and help him. But it also meant creating more trouble and worry for him.

''We'll talk when we get home, okay?'' She said and pulled into the parking lot of a Supermarket. They got out and Emma begged the Angel that Mark and Ty will act normal and won't attract eyes on themselves. But the moment they got out of the car she had to notice the way young teenage girls were looking at them. They were different and attractive. They gave off a differet feeling, so did Emma, but she knew how to be mundane around humans. Sometimes she wished she was like Clary, being able to be munade when needed and Shadowhunter most of the times, and in the end being and feeling her real self, no matter how differently she had to act in front of others.

She ran after Mark and stopped in front of him. She checked him out, to see if there were any Marks or scars showing, makig sure he had a glamour on and finaly ruffeld his hair so that it fell over his ears.

''Make sure it stays that way, your eyes are attracting enough attention already.'' She said and after an awkward stare they shared between each other, let him go.

Emma went in first, with the list in her hand, Mark and Ty followed her behind and looked around. It was the first time in years for Mark to go to a supermakret and Emma could clearly see the fascination in his eyes. She smiled while lookig at his amazed expression and noticed that Ty was looking at her. She cleared her throat and asked him to get them a cart for the stuff they were going to buy. While Ty was busy getting them a cart, Emma was quick to warn Mark to act normal and not to try anything funny or talk about anything that mundane ears were not allowed to hear.

''Jeez you treat me worse then my brother does.'' Mark joked and winked at her and then let a huge smile take over his face. He was glowing and Emma couldn't help but smile back.

''He will do more if something were to happen while you were with me.'' She told him.

''Last time I checked I was the oldest one?'' He asked a bit unsure of himself. Emma could actually see him trying to calcucate the age gap he and his siblings shared or had shared.

''In terms of how you act when we are around mundanes I'd say Tavvy did a better job when he was three years old.'' She mocked him and stepped away to get the first things she saw and was on the shopping list. Ty showed with the cart and Emma put a few things inside like a few packages of sugar, salt, some oil, rice and cookies.

''Ouch.'' Mark pretened to be hurt by her words and quickyl fell into step with her, taking a place very close to her. He was going through the shopping list while leaning into Emma. She could feel his chest pushing her lightly on the shoulder as he was trying to read the products they needed to buy.

Ty was true to himself and was quiet as always. It was more then clear to Emma that he indeed wanted to come with them just so that he can ''inspect'' the relationship she and Mark had. She saw the glances he gave them when he thought Emma was not watching, she felt him trying to decode the way they interacted with each other and she felt like she was doing it wrong.

Julian was too blinded now to see the reality. His emotions and feelings toward Emma made all rational thinking and objectivity clouded with anger, despair and betrayal. Tiberius was different. He was analitical. He could see through things and he was careful doing so. Emma felt like she had been put through a serious test and she knew if she failed to make Ty believe her lies, then all of this act would be pointless, it would be lost.

~~~~

The supermarket shopping turned out well with no accidents occuring along the way. They left it with three bags each. It was insane how much money they had spent on food and the vegetables and fruits were still to be bought.

After loading everything to the trunk, Emma was ready to start the car and head to the open market where fresh fruit and vegetables were sold, just as Cristina had requested. Before she had started the car, another sound came to her ears, and not only hers. Her stomach called with a growl. She was hungry and it was just now that she'd noticed it. She saw with the corner of her eyes the way Mark looked at her and then her stomach.

''Left without having a breakfast.'' She explained and shrugged.

''I can hear that. Should we buy something now?''

''No need, we just need to get the rest of the things and we're heading home.''

''Are you sure? You know you should eat. You are a Shadowhunter, you need food.''

''Says the boy, who looked like a tree branch just a few weeks ago.'' She turned to him before putting the car into motion. ''You don't have to worry, I eat more then enough.''

When they got to the Market Cristina had instructed Ty to go to, Emma only hoped that she would not lose Mark and Ty in the crowd. Or herself for that matter.

''Stay close to me.'' She told the boys who were a step behind her.

''Wouldn't it be better if we split.'' Ty suggested. ''It will be faster. If you worry that much I can go with Mark and we will meet back at the car in ten minutes. I can see the car from here, just tell us what to buy.''

Emma knew that separatig was a good idea and they will finish the job in no time, but the thing is that Ty himselft was worrying her. He himself was not behaving like his usual self. Especially since the time he decided to follow her and Julian to Johnny Rook and hold a knife to the neck of his son. His inpredicable behaviour and the way he planned his actions made her unsure and nervous at the same time.

''You and Mark get the fruits.'' She said finaly and handed Ty the shopping list. ''I get the vegetables. If you are not in front of the car in ten minutes then you better start praying to the Angel.'' She told them both with a serious expression. ''You got it? We don't want to cause any more trouble for Julian or anyone else in the Institute, okay?''

Ty nodded and together with Mark headed in the opposite direction of the Market. Emma looked after them until she couldn't see them anymore and sighed. She hoped she hadn't made a big mistake and hurried to get the vegetables.

She was faster then the boys since she knew how to talk her way into getting in front of people. She loaded the rest of the groceries in the trunk and waited for Ty and Mark. She also wanted to get away from the crowd and get some place where she could get a better view of the Market.

She noticed Mark and Ty coming toward her and let yet another sigh out. She was relieved even though it was no big deal. She noticed Mark was eating strawberries as well. After they came to her he offered her one from the litte box they were, but Emma declined.

''You need food in order to drive us safe home.'' He told her. Emma eyes him evenly and took one and shoved it in her mouth just to shut him up. He offered her the whole box.

''I already ate one.'' He said and smiled, the side of his mouth red from the strawberries he had eaten. Emma reluctantly put a finger to his mouth and wipped the stain away with her thumb before realizing what she was doing. She put her hand away as fast as she had dared to make the contact and turned away to get into the driver's seat.

''How can you eat a whole box in such a short notice?'' She asked and put her seat belt on.

''How can you go out without having breakfast?'' He put the box of strawberries on the dashboard, where Emma's feet ususally were when someone else was driving.

Mark took one from the box and put it under her mouth, waiting for Emma to take a bite. The mokent she tried to take the strawberry in her own hand, he drew his hand away.

''Put your seat belt on.'' She told him while eyeing him grimly and started the car.

After eating the strawberry himself, Mark seated himself comfortably in his seat and continued to eat while humming to himself. Emma looked in the rear-view mirror to check on Ty who already had his belt on. She noticed he was looking at her, but not at her eyes, not at the rear-view mirror since eye contact was something hard for him. He was just looking at her side.

Emma started the car and soon after she had to stop on the side of the street.

''What's wrong?'' Mark looked at her. He had to admit she looked worried and like she was about to lose her mind. Her breathing was uneven and she was trying to get her top off.

''Call someone from the Institute to pick us up.'' She said and unbuckled her belt.

''What's going on?'' Mark's voice turned to one full of worry.

''Preferably not Julian or Cristina, or Diana.''

''Emma what's going on?'' There was panic in his voice. It seemed Emma was not listening to him at all.

Without answering she got out of the car and took her shirt of. Beneath it was a grey tank top. Mark got out of the car and wanted to come towards her, but Emma was faster on her feet and headed towards the beach.

 _This cannot be happening!_ She thought to herself as she felt her sanity slipping away from her. She knew a similar story to hers: A few years ago Jace Heronadale eating fairy food and ending up naked on the street while running as fast as he could.

''Mark, where did you get the strawberris from?'' Ty asked him as he got out of the car himself.

Mark didn't seem to have heard the question, but Ty was already making sure he was calling the Institute. He remembered Emma's words and tried to figure out who to call. Someone who would not blame them or Emma or Mark for that matter. Someone who could drive a car, but sadly the only people who knew how to drive where the exactly the same ones who were going to judge them. Julian was no option because he would be so disappointed in them, failling to do a simple task as going shopping without an accident. If he called Cristina, the whole Institute would notice her absense and will realize that somethig has happned. Diana was not even in town. There was only one option left and he hoped it was the best one since Emma might end up mad at him.

''Uh-oh.'' Mark said beside him. ''I think I got them from a pixie.'' He turned his pale face to Ty in search of an answer.

Ty knew fearie food didn't have the same effect on half-fearies as it had on full blooded Shadowhunters. For Mark it was something normal, just food. For Emma on the other hand... He looked at in direction and saw her dancing and singing on the beach. It has started. He called Diego and told him where to come as fast as he could because things were getting out of told him not to tell the others where the was going.

''What do we do now?'' Mark asked while trying to keep up with Emma.

''Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, I'll wait by the car.''

Ty watched as Mark ran to Emma and how she escaped from his attempt to catch her. She was a different person at the moment. Her boots were soon flying at Mark's head and Ty heard some words he hoped he heard wrong. Her socks soon followed and this time she manged to throw one at his face. The reaction was imidate: Emma laughed as hard as she could and Mark stood there dumbfounded.

Ty noticed Emma working on the buttons of her jeans and immediatley turned his head away. Mark better do something about that or she would kill them both afterwards for what they had seen and had not been able to prevent. He heard her screaming and turned back to the sound of her voice scared that she had hurt herself. It was Mark who had manged to catch her and had her over one of his shoulders trying to get her back to the car. Some of the people on the beach didn't pay much attention to them since they made it look as if they were a couple playing around. Ty on the other hand didn't know what to make out of it. Emma sure made an impression of someone who would kill Mark if he tried to stop her from undressing, the only thing was that she still didn't know how thankful she would be to him if he succeeded after she was back to normal.

Emma manged to escape Mark's grip on her with a swift movement and was once again on the run.

''What the hell?'' He heard a voice behind him and turned around. It was Diego who was silently taking in the whole situation that was being played in front of his eyes. ''What is the emergancy here? You feel like the third wheel?''

''Emma ate fearie food.'' Ty told him without looking him in the eyes. ''We need someone who could get hold of her and get us safely home.''

''Oh boy.'' Diego said and took off his leather jacket. He had a black t-shirt beneath it which made it clear he trained hard and was no one to be messed with. Ty watched as he approached Mark and Emma, the latter one eager to take her tank top off and Mark giving his best to prevent that from happening on a public beach full with people. So much about acting normal in front of mundanes.

''Try to catch her and hold her still.'' Diego told him as he approached him from behind. ''She'll need a rune to calm down. We'll have to knock her out.''

''What the hell are you doing here?'' Mark asked in utter surprise. He was expecting Cristina or Diana, not Mister Sexy.

''Your brother called. Said you needed help and to make sure nobody else knows about the call. So I came. And believe it, it ain't a good thing to have exactly Emma go out of her mind. The girl has to hold herself back in order not to kill somebody when she is fully aware of what she is doing and now she has lost her mind. It's good I was called, I don't think Cristina would manage her.''

Mark rolled his eyes and looked back at Ty who was a few feet away from them, next to the car. Ty shrugged as if he was answering the untold question of his brother. _Who else was I supposed to call?_

''What did she eat?'' Diego asked while carefully watching Emma and studying her movements in order to find a certain pattern. No luck, she was totally unpredictable. She was in front of them, humming a song to herself and kicking at the sand. She was also mocking them by sticking her tongue out and making other funny faces. It was as if they were dealing with a child. One that could kill you with her bare hands.

''A strawberry.'' Mark told him. ''Forgot about not trusting pixies and the Fair Folk for a second and offered one to Emma, forgetting how certain food worked on a full blooded Shadowhunter.''

Diego could hear the worry and self accusation in Mark's voice. He could also see him blaming himself and trying to figure something out, something that will help the situation they were in.

''After we catch her, make sure to hold her still until I put a rune on her, okay?'' Mark nodded without looking at him.

After what seemed hours of runnig around the beach, screaming and laughing, on Emma's side at least, Mark felt himself getting out of breath. She may be out of her mind right now, but she still was a capable Shadowhunter.

It was hard to stay unnoticed to the other people as well, not when two attractive boys where desperatly chasing after an equally attractive girl, who seemed to want to get out of her clothes.

After Mark threw himself at Emma and caught her by the ankle, she fell, face down and Diego was fast to take out his stele. Emma tried to escape once again, while laughing uncontrollably and suddenly her laugh reminded Mark of something.

When she was six years old, Mark was making a fortress out of blankets and pillows for his siblings. Emma was teasing Julian so he had decided to tickle her. She was laughing so hard and so loud, the others couldn't help but laugh as well. Helen was fast to scold Julian and told him to leave Emma alone since she was unable to take a breath, but Mark remembered the then child's laugh. It was pure,sincere and innocent. Just like it was now. She was the same small six old girl, who was shaking from laughter on the ground. The only difference now was that she was damaged beyoned repair and she was a killing machine.

''Hold her still!'' Diego shouted and brought Mark back to reality. He was drawing a rune on her neck, while Mark was holding Emma's hands behind her back as if she was a criminal. He sat on her legs to prevent her form kicking at them, one hand holding her arms behind her back, the other one slightly and gently pushing her head downwards, so that Diego could draw a rune.

After a few moments her protests and kicking stopped and she fell asleep. Mark slowly let her go and carefully got off from her. Ty was now coming towards them.

The three boys looked at each other and then looked back at Emma. She was silent and peaceful and it was deffinetly something new to see for all of them. She was suddenly vulnerable and didn't look so feral and scary as she usually did when she was awake and conscious.

Mark stood up and was ready to carry her back to the car when they all saw them. The horrible, hideous scars on her back. The outcome of her protecting the people she loved and cared about. The painful aftermath of her taking Mark's punishmet and getting lashed twenty times.

He remembered. He remembered her screams, her bare back, the blood that was all over her, her hair, the floor. The moment she stopped screaming and fell on her face. The fact that he couldn't help her. The fact that he himself could only scream and beg for Iarlath to stop. The moment he tried to put a rune on her, careful of where he was touching her. The moment he foud himself helpless and blamed himself. He still did. Now that he could see the thick white scars which were all over her back he came to realize how much she had actually sacrificed.

He remembered last night, when he had forgotten about her wounds, when he just wanted to forget everyone and everything and actually caused her more pain. They way she hissed and pushed him away, how much pain can she actually handle? How much was she ready to sacrifice and give to the others? How much was she going to suffer because of the people she wanted to protect.

He gently touched her scars and drew his hand back as fast as he had drawn it out, as if he had burnt himself.

''Got to admit the girl has some guts. And is reckless, but very brave and capable at the same time.'' Diego broke the silence. Mark was still staring at her, not saying a word. Diego was about to take Emma when Mark stopped him.

''I'll carry her.'' He said and heard his own voice hoarse. He was fighting back tears. ''You get the car started.''

Diego nodded and together with Ty they headed towards the car. Mark turned Emma gently on her back and pushed the hair out of her face. His hand lingered on her cheek and his thumb gently rubbed her cheekbone. He leaned in and put a light kiss on her forehead. After that he carried her back to the car unaware of the stares of the people on the beach.

For good or for bad, Ty and Diego had just turned to see Mark kissing Emma on the forehead and silently turned their backs, feeling as if they were interupting a very personal and intimate moment. 


	6. Chapter 6

So dear people, I am running out of ideas and motivation. This chapter is very short compared to the last one, but still a chapter. Since I am low on ideas I'd be happy to hear about your requests,what do you want to read next, how do you want ceratin characters to communicate, develope or such. Any ideas that will inspire me to write more and new stuff, so your opinions are welcomed! In case you have a tumblr you can ask me there since that's where I practically live so … yeah  
Sorry for the mistakes and enjoy the new chapter.

PS.: I read ALL of your reviews a few times even because they are so nice and motivational and I am very very thankful for all of them and to the people who are following this fanfiction and are favouring the story, I am very grateful to you this is a big support for me which keeps me going so THANK YOU GUYS!

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Diego was driving the car under the speed limit since he was trying to buy them time. Ty was asked to move to the seat next to the driver's, since someone had to stay together with Emma and Ty would deffinetly have had troubles with that. Not to mention Mark didn't want to let go of her and wanted to make sure himself that she would not fall off the backseat and that she was doing fine. He had her head placed in his lap, while her legs were bent at the knees so that they can fit in the back. He was staring through the window and occasionaly at her unconsciouness face, but didn't allow himself to stare at her for too long. His fingers were entangled in her long hair, after he had decided to undo her bun so that she can lay more comfortably.

It was the the third car now that passed them and honked at them. They were too slow for the road. He didn't care. None of them did anyways.

''We have to tell Diana. This is a problem. Faeries are not allow to trade, work or whatever in this world. Especially not when mundanes get invloved.'' Diego said and stopped the car a few streets away from the Institute. They were close and Emma was still out. Mark just nodded.

''Don't blame yourself.'' Diego told him after noticing the beat up expression Mark had on his face.

''How can I not blame myself when it is my fault? I bought the strawberries. I gave them to her. I didn't even think about it while I knowlingly bought them from a pixie. I am a Shadowhunter and thus far I am doing a miserable job at being one, getting everyone in trouble or hurt or causing them pain.''

Diego knew this was much more then the strawberries. He knew he was blaming himself because of what had happened to Emma when she had taken the lashings for him. He had to admit her back looked pretty bad and he was fairly surprised she could still function the way she always had, at least that's the impression she gave off. He was not present at the day it had happened, but by the look of Mark's face, who had been forced to witness it all without being able to help his brother and Emma, it must have been much worse to the mind then the body and the way it looked on Emma's back.

''The others will find out about that sooner or later. Let's just tell them Emma had the situation under control before it escalted to something more and force chocked herself so that she can throw up-"

''I am tired of lying.'' Mark interuppted him. ''Let's just go home. We'll tell them more if they want to know and start asking questions.''

Diego nodded and started the car once again. After a few minutes he parked the car on its usual place behind the Institute and he and Ty started unloading the groceries from the trunk. Mark stayed in the car with Emma who shifted lightly and groaned. Her hand flew to her head and she rubbed her eyes and temples.

''What the hell happened?'' She asked in a sleepy voice. Mark couldn't believe how relieved and happy he suddenly was. After all, last time Emma lied in his hands unconscious, there was blood all over her, her own blood and she didn't wake up until it was late night. She was not hurt now, she was awake and able to move freely without wincing every time she shifted.

''I gave you faerie food, which was laced with something special to make you go all crazy.'' He told her and a happy smile escpaed his lips. He was now patting her head and forehead when Emma actually opened her eyes and looked at him. She took in her surroundings immediately. Her position, where she was, on who she was lying. The trunk came down with a loud stud and she jumped at the sound. Through the back window she could see Perfect Diego and Ty with the groceries.

''What the hell is that guy doing with the groceries. Who called him?'' Mark laughed and explained they were home and that Diego had actually been a very big help. Emma frowned and got out the car.

''Be careful what you'll tell the others.'' Diego heard Emma calling from behind him. He turned around to look at her and smiled. It was nice to see her old self, looks like the food didn't get to the brain as he had expected.

''Look who got up so soon! You're welcome for the help, lovely Emma!'' He said while still smiling at her. Emma went over to him.

''I mean it.'' She told him with a stern expression. ''Don't tell them about this. You too.'' She told Ty and he nodded. ''We'll figure it out, how we stumbled on the faerie, how we found out it was working at the Market and all, but not today and not like this. And yeah, I appreciate your help.'' The last part she muttered under her nose almost inaudible. Diego suppressed a grin.

''Sure. I won't tell the others.'' He promised her and looked over her shoulder to Mark who was now coming toward them. ''But you owe me one.'' He said and turned his gaze to hers again.

''What do you want?'' She asked irritated and rolled her eyes. She hoped he wouldn't want to put her sombrero and make her dance and sing.

''I'd like to a have one on one with you. You know just training, but I'd like to experience it first hand. I want to know just how good of a warrior you are since that's what eveyone keeps telling me. What do you say?''

Emma's eyes widened and glowed. This was amazing. This was like a dream come true. It was not owning him anything, it was more like he was giving her a present. All this time she wanted to kick his ass and now the opportunity came and not from whom but from him! She was getting a chance to fight somene equal or even better then her, but she knew she was not the type to hold back even if it meant it was training. By the Angel she didn't even hold back when she was training with Julian which made it hard for her. She wanted to fight him seriously, but didn't want to hurt him as well. Now she was finally going to be able to let it all go and no Cristina or Julian were going to stop her from doing it. Not when it came to training and practising her skills.

''Deal.'' She said with a wide smile. Diego laughed and then he and Ty went inside with the heavy groceries.

''Did you hurt your head when we knocked you out?'' Mark asked behind her and Emma, who had totally forgotten about him, turned to face him completly startled by the sound of his voice.

''What?'' She asked confused and looked at him. He was asking her a serious question and she didn't know why.

''Your head.'' He repeated and brought his hands to his own head pointing at it as if Emma was some idiot who didn't know what the word meant. ''Did you hurt it?''

What startled her even more was the fact, that he was completly serious in everytrhing he said and did which made him look even more funny to her. She couldn't control herself and the smile that was trying to escape her lips slipped and turned into a big grin.

''I am fine, no need to worry.'' She said and gave him a slight tap on the shoulder.

''Emma you just agreed to fight the guy!'' He exclaimed and pointed at the Institute indicating that was where Diego was currently at.

''Yes. And I've neer been more happy.'' She told him proudly. Mark ruffled his hair nervously and took Emma back to the car where he was sure if somebody was to come out, would not be able to see them.

''I don't like the idea of it and I don't want you to get hurt.'' He told her.

''Mark.'' Emma's expression and voice also changed to a more serious one. ''It's just training process. A combat. We're not going to go for our necks for real!'' _Probably,_ she thought to herself.

''By the look of your face it seems to me that this is exacly what you're planning on doing.''

''It's a dream come true to kick his perfect ass. Do you know how hard it is to train with people you don't want to hurt, but at the same time you enjoy fighting and being active in that way. It calms me down. Especially if I get to crush some bones and stuff like that.'' She looked at him and then hurried to add that she was not going to crush his bones, not unless it was an accident.

Mark was astonished. This was not the way he remembered Emma. No, on second thought, that's exactly how he remebred her. She enjoyed her training days and she enjoyed them to this days just as much as she had when she was twelve. The passion and love for fighting was still there. It seemed it has grown even bigger then before. Maybe because of the people she was so passionate about protecting.

''I don't like seeing you get hurt.'' He told her silenty and looked down.

''Well that is just insulting because to me it sounds like you are doubting my abilites.'' She told him. ''Plus I am a Shadowhunter. We get hurt, we die young. Don't forget that.''

''I am still against it. Rethink it.''

''There is nothing to rethink!'' Emma spread her hands as if to show him. ''Mark this is just like that time Diana tested our skills and you ripped that dummy's hands with our own bare ones. The only diffenrence is that it won't be a test and that I am going to have a real partner to attack and fight with.''

Mark looked at her, but didn't say anything. Emma could tell by the way he looked at her that this idea didn't apply to his taste and he was still trying somehow to talk her out of it.

''Mark, it's my choice and you have no saying.'' She said irritated after seeing he was not going to give up. ''You are not my parents, not my older brother or boyfriend. Even if you were one of these things you still have no saying about my choices.''

This, Mark had to admit hurt. She was irritated and maybe grumpy because of the fact that she just woke up after being knocked out and now her body and mind were in conflict she was not sure how to solve. Go punch something or go and have some quality sleep she hadn't had in what seemed a week by now. She turned to go back to the Institute when he stopped her with the next thing he said.

''Actually I am.'' He said.

''You are what?'' She turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

''Your boyfrined.''

''You are when we are in front of others, when they have to see that.'' She told him and came closer to him. ''That was the deal. You are not my boyfrined.''

''My deal was not lying, not pretending.'' He told her and also came closer to her. They were too close to each other and both had their hands crossed before them.

''When we are alone, we know that we don't have to put a show for the other to see.''

''Is that what you would call last night?'' He asked and Emma swallowed unprepared for any mention of last night.

''What about last night?'' She dared to ask, sure to regret her question soon enough.

''Did we put up a show? If so for who?'' He asked on his side and looked down on her since he was one head taller then her and was towering over her now, coming closer to her, almost touching. Emma tried her best not to step back. She was not going to show him her embarasment or how uncomforabtle she felt about last night by trying to run away.

''That was different.'' She told him.

''Yes, it was different. Because we were alone and the only show we put for someone was the stars.''

''It was a confusing moment of weakness, can we please not talk about this!'' She sounded tired and annoyed. She indeed was tired and annoyed by the change of topic. How did they even manged to get to last night? How did that happen?

''Weakness? So you agree there was something?''

''Yes, my desparation and confusion. I'm sorry.'' She couldn't take it anymore and stepped back ready to leave. This was so not the place and the time to talk about last night's events. Mark was faster and got her hand and spun her around, so that she can once again face him.

''Let go.'' She said in a hard, hostile, but also tired voice. The voice of someone who was ready to give up.

''Don't do it. Don't get yourself in more trouble.''

Emma, who was more on the defesive decied to change her tactics and was now on the offensive.

''Mark, let me go.'' She pulled her hand sharply out of his grip and looked at him with her killer eyes. She was irritated. There were thousands of things on her mind, she needed sleep, she needed food, and the last thing she needed now was hurting Mark as well. They looked at each other, stared into ech others eyes without saying a word. They were standing close, eyes locked, the intake of breaths in the same tempo as the other.

Suddenly Mark pulled Emma to him and kissed her, kissed her hard. Kissed like she had kissed him last night. Uncontrolably, in need, confused and unaware of what was happening. Emma had her hands crossed, and Mark was holding her shoulders, scared to let his hands move to her back. He put more pressure on her lips and deepened the kiss. Emma had to put her hands on his shoulders if she didn't want to fall back. She didn't respond to the kiss like he had expected her to. Maybe she was just trying to prove a point, but to Mark it was just her pure stuborness and the fact that she hated being wrong that kept her from actually lettig go. He put one hand in her hair and pulled it lightly. He then put his other arm around her shoulder blades, one leg between her legs and spun her around so that now she was between him the parked car. He pushed Emma against it, making sure his leg stayed between hers in order to prevent her from pushing him away easily from her, even though he knew what opportunity he gave her to hit him in a much more sensitive area if he overstepped his boundaries. He pushed her harder against the car, feeling more of her against his own body. Her muscles, but her softness as well, her breasts, her hips, the heat that came from her body and in contact with his.

She bit him on the lip and he moved his hands to her waist, moving them down her body and pulling her towards him, squeezing her, wanting more contact, needing more contact. He was pulling her up, his hands now beneath her tights, trying to make her put her own legs around his waist. Emma stopped him from doing it when she put her hands on his, but this didn't stop him from kissing her. After she denied him further access to her mouth and turned her head away he planted gentle, but passioned kisses on her jawline, slowly going to her earlobe.

''Stop, stop.'' She tapped him on the shoulders with her hands. He moved his head so that he could meet her eyes. They were just as glassy as his, full with desire and passion. ''We can't- I can't.'' She said and pushed him away. Mark stepped aside and watched Emma go and disappear in the Institute with fast steps.

He ruffled his hair in a desparet gesture and sighed. He looked around before deciding it was best for him if he hid himself somewhere. Somewhere where he could be alone for a while and rethink what exactly he has been doing most recently. He needed to sort things out with himself before trying to talk to Emma about their relationship, if what they had could be called a relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay people as always I wrote the chapter while being sleep deprived because school is just amazing, not to mention I had a headache … while editing the things I found stupid or wrong I was almost seduced to delete the whole thing because it kida seems off, but I have no time to think of another way how to do things or rewrite it, so after another long wait I present you the new chapter and once again thank you for the lovely reviews you are very kind and I am very glad you like it!

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The faint sound of someone playing the violin could be heard, while another, louder noise was sticking out in the background, getting louder and it was pulling Emma further away from the soft and familiar sound of the instrument.

She woke up. Her window was open and the wind felt chilling on her bare feet. There was a storm again, the ocean was not calm and was crushing violently agaist rocks and sand. She couldn't sleep. There was something, not just her dreams and nightmares that kept her awake, not just her problems with her relationships, there was something else that was keeping her so disturbed and worried every time she woke up. Like there was something that was not meant to be there. And she always felt it was the ocean that was warrning her.

Maybe Malcom was still alive, maybe something far worse has happened. She knew the others were trying to solve the mystery, about the vibes they felt, the disturbance in the air. Their senses told them something bad was coming, something they didn't know how to prevent from happening.

It was not surprising to her how often she heard Tavvy's screams all over to her room and her room was on the other side. She knew Julian was spending his nights in his brother's room, trying to calm him down, while trying to fight with his own demons. It was not the first time to see Ty and Livvy in the library, working on something together in order to attract the tiredness and sleep to them. Dru was watching more and more horror movies, but in the end they seemed to make things worse for her. Mark was either on the roof or in his room, but she didn't know what he was doing or what he was thinking about. He never shared anything, afraid he was going to be a bigger burden.

It was no surprise to the see the conflict feelings Cristina had toward Perfect Diego and how often she was seeking confrot in him. Emma was just worried that in the end she would forgive him and he would her again, this time beyond repairing.

Kit was always alone, rarely left the Institute, rarely spoke. Even the times when Jace Herondale came and explained how thing were, even when Clary Fairchild, who shared the same fate he did and was the only one who could actually understand what he was going through since the same thing had happened to her when she was fifteen herself, didn't seem to help him much.

Emma got up and closed the window. It was too stormy to go out, it was too noisy to stay in her room. She dressed up and went to the room where she could once again feel close to her family. Feel closer to the dream she just had, about the violin and its music.

She was careful not to encounter somebody on her way. She was pretty sure she was not the only one awake. Tiptoeing she slipped in the dark room, again iluminated by the moon shining through the window and closed the door very carefully, knowing about the horrible sound the door knob made when closed with force. She let out a sigh and slowly turned around only to be met with curious eyes across the room.

She almost screamed when she saw the figure, sitting under the window with a book in their hands.

''By the Angel!'' She said and put a hand on her chest. Her heart was beating wild. ''You could have said something.'' She told accusingly to the person across her.

''You were so eager to be quiet in your entry, I suggested I would scare you more if I were to tell you something.'' Mark looked at her with a slight amusement. It was the first time in years to see him in his natural habitat: sitting close to a window with a book in his hands. This was both new and familiar to her all at the same time. He got on his feet and smoothed his clothes. Then they looked at each other in an awkward silence.

''I should probably go.'' He told her and was about to pass her when she stopped him.

''No.'' She said a bit too forcefully. ''You can stay.''

''Wouldn't I bother you?''

''I don't know what I want to do anyway so we might as well talk.''

''Talk'' He repeated after her, lost in thought. ''About what?'' He asked then and looked at her. Emma pouted and raised her shoulders in answer. She didn't know either.

''You should continue with your book.'' She said then.

''What about you?''

''I'm not sure.''

This awkwardness that was around them was making Emma even more nervous. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to interact with Mark, he was making her feel naked of some sort. She felt he was seeing more of her character and thoughts then she was showing. Maybe she was way too opened with him and didn't even bother denying stuff he had already guessed.

Mark touched her forearm and came closer to her. Emma puled away and crossed her arms in front of her.

''Don't.'' She told him without looking at him.

''I didn't know this was bothering you so much.'' He told her and she could her the hurt in his voice. Emma shook her head and raised her eyes to his.

''It's not that.'' She told him and bit her lip. ''It's just that every time we are alone, doesn't even matter where, we end up jumping on each other's necks. It's just confusing how it happens. We are not even talking about it.''

''We can take things slow.'' He assured her and was about to touch her again when he thought the better of it. ''We can talk about it.'' He corrected himself.

Emma rubbed her face and moved to window where the light of the moon iluminated her hair to silver. ''I don't even know if I want to talk about it. I don't know how it keeps happening and why it is so confusing. It's just irritating.'' She brushed her hair aside and looked at the ceiling.

Mark came next to her and slid again to the floor and opned his book. He then looked up at her.

''We can talk about something else, or we can just stay here doing whatever we want to do without bothering each other.''

Emma nodded and slid down next to him. She leaned her head on the wall and closed her eyes. In the darkness and silence that ruled now, she could only hear her own breathing which soon enough synchronized with Mark's and the turning of pages after he read on. Without giving it much thought she leaned closer to him.

''Can I rest my head on your shoulder?'' She asked with a sleepy voice. Before Mark could say anything, her head found his shoulder and she soon after fell alseep. He continued to read until he felt drowsy and sleepy himself and decided to rest his cheek on Emma's head.

~~~~~~

When Emma woke up she first had to take in her surroundings and needed time to process the way she was laying, where and on whom and once again why and how. At first glance she saw a book with white, or maybe beige cover and green-yellow letters which said '' _The Memoirs of Cleopatra''_ over her face and a long, bony hand holding it in the middle. The hand had the voyance rune, the one that looked like an eye, the one Emma felt was knowingly starring at her. She then realized she was laying on her back, her head against someone's leg. And then it hit her and she remembered.

''Did you sleep well?'' She heard Mark say from behind the book. Then he removed it from her face and she saw him looking down at her, smilling while the sun shone through the window and made him look as if he had a halo. Emma coverd her eyes with one hand because the sun was blinding her, or maybe it was Mark himself who was blinding her.

''I guess so.'' She answered and got up then she looked around once again. They were in the same room as the night before. ''Did we really sleep here?''

''You did.'' He corrected her. Emma narrowed her head apologetically.

''Sorry.'' She said quietly.

''No, it's not because of you. If I wanted to sleep I would have taken you to my room and I would have slept, but the book was interesting.''

Emma glanced at the book and saw that he was just about to finish it. He really did read the whole night through while she slept on his lap. Again.

''Your room?'' Emma asked a bit teasingly and looked up at him to meet his face.

''It's closer then yours.'' He answered equally teasingly and winked at her. Emma laughed.

''We should probably go and have breakfast, or luch in our case.'' He said and Emma jerked up. Was it this late already?

''It's eleven o'clock.'' He told her after seeing the way she reacted. ''You don't have to be anywhere?''

''No, it's just that...''

''You haven't slept well in a while.'' He said and Emma nodded. After noticing the awkward way she rubbed her neck and shoulders he put his book to the side. ''Come here.'' He told her and opened his legs so,that Emma could sit between them. She looked at him as if he was crazy, but after seeing he was not going to give up she rolled her eyes and shifted herself so that now her back was to him and his long legs were encircling her.

He gently moved Emma's long hair to one of her shoulders and Emma shivered a little by the brush of his fingers on her neck.

''Try to relax.'' She heard his soft and hoarse at the same time voice and felt his breath on her neck. She listened to his advice and tried to relax her shoulders, but the moment his fingers touched her and started to massage her she felt herself grow more nervous and tense. She couldn't try to think about something else because he was here. He was behind her and he was touching her and he was the only thing she had in mind at the moment. The way his fingers moved against her shoulders and the pressure he put there, the way his thumbs moved up and down her neck, the gentleness he did it with, the care he touched her with. It was all too much to keep her mind occupied with something else. She liked how it felt and soon came to notice that she was indeed realxing to his touch and that he was putting more pressure the moment he felt her realx. She felt drowsy and sleepy again and she had to resist the urge to lean against him and fall asleep again. It felt that good. Like he was taking away all her worries she had through the whole past week, like he was making everything bad go away and replace it with only good emotions and feelings. She was that stiff with worry and who know what else. She closed her eyes and let the way he was causing her to feel go through her.

After she responded to his fingers and moved her head from side to side so that he can massage more angles of her neck and shoulders, Emma felt his hands moving downwards to her shoulder blades and he started massaging there, putting more pressure and doing circular movements. There was nothing new to the way he moved his hands, but Emma felt a rush of excitement and relaxation go through her back since he was now giving attention to other parts of her back and the sensation felt different to them than it had to her shoulders and neck.

He slipped his hands further down, putting a light pressure against her spine and ribcage and then continuing downwards to her waist where he put his hands on each side. Emma arched her back a bit too much, but it was not something she could control. It was a delightful and satisfactory feeling and her body responded faster then her mind could.

Mark stopped and Emma opened her eyes panicked that he would think something inappropriate or surprising of her reaction. But his concerns seemed different from hers. 

''Did that hurt?'' He asked and Emma could hear the worried note in his voice. Afraid her voice was going to shake if she answered, she just shook her head no.

After what felt to Emma a painful eternity he continued and Emma closed her eyes once again to welcome the sensation.

His hands were all over her back, going up and down, massaging with just enough pressure to make her feel good and everytime he got to her waist or lower she bit her lower lip and tried to force herself not to arch her back too much, but in the end it was hard. She's never been touched there like this and it was new to her to find out that this part of her body was that sensitive and resposnsive to that kind of touch.

She rested her arms on his knees which he had bend around her and they were so close to her body that it seemed like he was squeezing her with his legs. With every touch to her waist and lower back she gave a light squeez to his knees and he soon realized that that was no sign of pain she feeling, but pleasure instead. Pleasure she was trying to conceal away from him. Mark smiled to himself and was glad Emma couldn't see his face or he would have been thrown out the window.

He knew she hated being vulnerable in front of others. Hated showing this kind of side of her, the one that felt pain, the one that was saddened or the one that felt excited beyond her own control. He could see that she rarely let herself enjoy anything she liked or made her feel the way he was making her feel now, but he also knew this was a weak place of hers since she couldn't win the control over her body and was giving in to her needs.

After a while he felt his hands getting more and more tired, but he didn't want to stop because Eamma seemed to enjoy it so much. He continued, but after his hands got too tired an numb he stopped. He heard Emma leting a satisfied sigh out and after locking his arms around her whole waist, he pulled her backwards, toward to him so that her back was now leaning agaist his chest. She seemed way too relaxed and tired to notice how close to each other they were, since she didn't try to break free or protest, but instead put her head against his shoulder with her eyes closed. Their breating was once again one and the same. 

Mark had his hands entwined in front of her stomach and his knees around her, like a protective cage. He tightened the grip around her and narrowed his head down so that it looked like as if he was kissing Emma on the shoulder.

And he was.

It was in that moment, that Emma opened her eyes in surprise. She couldn't trun her head to his because he had his burried between her shoulder and neck and was kissing her. Emma wasn't sure how to react initially, but the first thing she felt, after surprise, was pleasure. She arched her back once again and her grip on Mark's legs got tighter.

He took it as a good sign and moved closer to her neck, placing kisses to her ear and back to her collarbone. The closer he got to the ear, the tighter got Emma's grip and she arched more to him. She put one hand on his neck, urging him,showing him where it felt good, where to kiss more and to put more pressure.

Mark enjoyed the way her fingers were gripping his neck, showing him the way by the way she distributed the pressure and encouraged by this, in turn, while he was moving once again up to her ear, he bit her gently on the neck. This got him a soft gasp which escpaed Emma's lips and her nails dug in his neck and leg. He continiued, kissing and bitting, ocassionaly licking his way up to her ear where he bit and sucked on her earlobe. By now his hands were erratically moving up and down her body, pulling her closer to him, tigheting his grip around her, not sure where to touch her.

Emma was also very responsive and was moving against him even though from her position it was hard to get a good grip on Mark. Every time he bit her, she pulled his hair lightly in an answer which meant she liked it.

Soon it was not enough for both of them and Emma turned herself around, with help from Mark and sat on his lap so this time it was her legs that were around him while he had his outstreched. Emma burried her hands in Mark's hair and kissed him hard on the lips. He had his hands on her waist and was constantly moving them up and down her back, pushing her to him, pressing her down to him.

Their tongues entwined and they both let out sharp breaths between passionate kisses. Mark dared to push his hands under Emma's shirt and found out that Emma was also pulling him by the collar as if she was unhappy about the material separating them. She bit his lower lip and then sucked on it, while he was left surprisingly affected by this gesture, he grabbed her bottom and lifted her enough to be able to turn her around so that she was pinned down by him. After coming to the conclusion that the floor was not a comfortable place for those kind of stuff, especially when he wanted Emma cornerd, he lifted her once again and put her on the sill of the window, where he could push her agaist the cold glass.

Emma wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled herself closer to him, her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her, while he proceeded with exploring her body under her shirt. Emma's hand also moved to his stomach and down to the seam of his jeans and-

''Emma! Mark!'' Emma was so shocked by the sound of her name she jerked back in surprise and hit her head on the glass of the window. Mark was equally surprised and was already standing a few feet away from her.

''Mark!'' Someone shouted again. Emma got off the sill and straightened her shirt and tried to make herself look presentable. But it was hard, both of their lips were red and swollen from kissing, their eyes glasy and pupils dialted from desire. Emma wipped her mouth with the back of her hand and headed toward the door.

''I guess we should go.'' She said in a hurry and left the room, leaving Mark alone and stunned in it.

They both were in shock by how far they've gotten today, what they've alomost done. And maybe the most surprising thing to both of them was the fact how much they enjoyed it and how much they wanted it, almost craved it.


	8. Chapter 8

While Emma was making her way down the hall, walking way too fast and somehow insecure, something untypical for her being, she had her head down, one hand still on her lips and was way too concerned about all the thoughts that were occupying her mind at the moment, which failed her to notice the figure walking toward her. She stopped abruptly and would have probably screamed if her hand wasn't on her mouth. This didn't stay unnoticed by the person in front of her.

''Everything, okay?'' Julian asked a bit unsure, but there was a note of something else as well. He didn't know if he should worry or just let it be since the past week Emma's been acting more then weird, but in the end no matter what he still cared.

''Mhm.'' She nodded fast with her head, her hand still on her mouth. She was afraid to remove it because she was sure Julian was going to notice and she really wasn't in the mood for another fight or accusations of what she probably is doing wrong … or who in her case.

''I need to shower and change is there an emergacy?'' She asked avoiding eye contact with him, while looking around, rubbing her head and using her hair as a curtain to hide her face.

''Not really, I just heard from the others that you and Mark were missing and nowhere to be found so I got a bit worried I guess, but it seems like you're fine.'' Emma had her gaze pinned on her shoes and was afraid to look up at him. ''And so does he.'' Julian added and Emma immediately looked at him and saw Julian looking past her. She turned around and saw Mark's confused expression. His hair looked messy from afar and his eyes were still glassy.

''I guess you were together by the look of your faces.''

Emma's stomach turned and she felt a huge knot as if her own intestines were going against her and were trying to kill her from the inside. There was soo much pain and accusation in his voice, so much hurt it just hurt to listen to him, she couldn't raise her eyes to meet his. That would have been more painful to her.

''Jules, please don't'' She said and was surprised to hear her voice so small, so tiny and vulnerable, so weak. She hated it. She hated herself.

''It's not my bussiness anyways, just don't ruin him like you did with me. I am sick and tired of seeing my family getting hurt, damaged and betrayed by people that we trust and are close to us.'' He went past her and Emma's mouth fell open. She turned to him, but he was walking too fast, obviously angry. Did he just compare her to Malcom? That Malcom, that traitor which almost killed the youngest Blackthorn to bring his lover back to the living? That person that killed her parents and it was just a stupid test for his magic? That Malcom that they all trusted and even loved? Did he really just do that?

''How dare you.'' She said silently to herself while a tear escpaed her eye and slided down her cheek. ''How dare you compare me to that.'' Her gaze was intesne, full with tears of pain and rage. She was furious and mad and angry and hurt and everything she didn't want it to be caused by the person she loved most.

She turned around and went in her room, slamming the door shut almost causing it to fall off its hinges. Then she proceeded with tearing her own room appart. Throwing pillows, blankets, object in all corners, screaming and shouting, not giving a damn that her voice could be heard, the fact that she broke a chair, shattered a vase into pieces, tore a paintimg off the wall, all the while she was crying. And after she felt tired enough, she stopped and looked at the mess she's made. All the borken things that were unfixable, with a hysterical laugh she realized her room represented her own life right now. She was ruining relationships, hurting people beyond repair in hopes to save their lives. But she was also getting hurt and damaged from all of this, she was just not allowed to show it. Show the pain it caused her.

There was a knock on her door, and she was glad there was barrier between her and the person knocking, who she could spared from a good beating and abruptly turned around.

''Go away or the next thing I break will be your neck!'' She shouted from inside and wiped her tears away. Nobody was allowed to se her or her room like that.

''Emma is everything okay?'' Cristina's worried and panicked voice came from the other side.

''Go away!'' She shouted louder. ''Please leave me alone!''

There was a silence and then Emma heard Cristina's shoes as she was going down the hallway. Emma let a sigh out and fell on her bed. She was so confused, she didn't know what to do. Clean her room would have been a good idea, but she didn't feel like it. She just slipped from her clothes and went in the shower where she stayed long enough until she began feeling stupid and weak from the way she had reacted.

She stepped in her room and proceeded on dressing herself when somebody knocked again. She just manged to get her pants on, her towel covering her upper body. Emma rolled her eyes in annoyance and was wondering how to explain her earlier outburt.

''I'm changing.'' She shouted in the door's direction, but that didn't seem to intimidate the person because the door opened and Mark entered the room. Emma was so stunned by his boldness she forgot what an adequate reaction to this situation would look like.

''Didn't you hear me or are you that curious what I look like naked?'' His face was a mask and he didn't seem amused by her jokes. He was respectful enough to look her straight in the eyes, with some kind of accusation and blame or something similar, while Emma held her towel close to her body. He didn't say anything and Emma felt obliged to repeat herself again.

''Can you at least wait outside I have to change-''

''What did Julian tell you?'' He suddenly cut her off and his voice sounded nothing like from a while ago. ''In the hallway.''

Emma looked down and bit her lip. Her wet hair was dripping water all over bare shouders, towel and floor and she really needed to wipe the water since it was tickling her.

''None of your businnes.'' She said quietly in hopes he hadn't heard her because even to her these words sounded way too harsh.

''It is my bussiness because you never share anything with anybody and in the end you have breakdown on your own!'' He stepped closer to her, but was still far away from reaching out to her. His voice also gave off the feeling he was holding back from shouting.

''Did Cristina tell you? In fact did she tell everybody?'' Emma raised her voice and looked at him.

''She told Julian and asked him to go and check up on you since he's your parabatai and probably the only person who can fix you, help you or beat some sense into you, but it turnes out he is the one causing your sleepless nights and the tears in your eyes!'' He did raise his voice this time and shortened the distance between them, still not close enough to reach out to her. ''I was just in the same room and heard her, Julian looked like was slapped across the face and went out without saying anything.''

''It's fine already. I've dealt with it.''

''Is crying and ruining your room what you call 'dealing' with it?'' He asked and pointed to all the broken objects on the floor and generally the mess ther her room was right now.

''I won't have you questioning my methods.'' She said and looked around herself. ''But for the record, yes.'' She added afterwards.

There was a long silence and Emma really needed and wanted to change. Mark seemed to have calmed down and his shoulders relaxed.

''I want to see them.'' He said quetly and looked at her in a way a child looked at someone when they wanted something. That one unnerving look.

''See what?'' She asked in confusion.

''The scars on your back.'' He said and pointed with his index finger at her. ''I want to see them.''

Emma's eyes windened and stared at him in disbelieve. Was he insane or what? She didn't want to show him something that was causing him and his brother much more pain then it did to her. She shook her head no unable to speak because of the request he's made.

''Please.'' He said in a tiny, begging voice. ''Please Emma I need to see them, please.''

It was so unnevring. The way he asked her of this favor, as if it was causing him pain, not being able to see the scars. Emma slowly turned around and even though she wasn't ready to expose her scarred back to him like that, even though she didn't want to show it to him, she was glad she couldn't see his expression, because she was sure it would have pained her.

She moved the towel in front of her chest, where she clutched it in her fists as she was searching for some kind of support and removed her wet hair from her back to one side of her shoulder and stood still, scared in antisipation.

She've never felt more exposed or naked, now she was half naked indeed, but it seemed like somebdy was staring right in her soul, right into her thoughts, mind and everything she had. She heard the sharp intake of breath behind her and her body uncontrolablly shuddered. She wasn't being touched by a hand, but by the eyes of someone who felt he was the cause of all of her pain and scars, which sadly to some extent was the truth.

There was a very long silnce and she was scared to turn around and face Mark. She didn't want to see that look on his face again. It was already enough that she agreed to show him her back.

She heard him come closer to her and felt a slight touch between her shoulder baldes. It was just the tip of a finger, but it was enough for Emma to bite on her towel, not from pain no, her scars didn't hurt, but from the exposioon and the whole feeling of being seen like this.

''Do they hurt?'' Mark's voice sounded raspy as if he was holding back tears, maybe he was. Emma, towel still in her mouth, shook her head no.

''I'm so sorry Emma.'' His voice broke and she felt something inside her breaking too. He was actually confident enough to show her his vulnerable, scared and hurt side. ''I'm so sorry you had to go through this and I could only watch.'' She felt his forehead on the base of her neck as he was leaning his body against hers. He soon moved his hand around her as well and hugged her tightly.

''I'm so sorry for not being of any help, I'm sorry you have to lie to the person you love the most in order to keep him safe, while not being able to explain or protect yourself, because you won't be protecting him anymore, I'm sorry I can't take away any of the pain you're feeling, I'm so sorry I'm causing some of it.''

With every word spoken his grip got tighter and tighter on her, his voice raspier, full of emotion, he himself more weak. Emma was cryiing once again, but not because she was in pain, mad or sad. She was thankful there was somebody else there for her, somebody who didn't even realize how much those words meant to her, how much he was already taking away from her pain. She was glad there was somone like Mark around the house who seemed equally damged and hurt as her, who really understood her and knew the motives behind their relationship.

''You're not!'' She said with the towel still in her mouth. The sound was muffled and she was afraid he was not able to hear her. ''You are so much help, I just don't know what or how to accept it.'' There was a pause before she added: ''I take pride in my scars Mark, it's a sign I've survived and kept the people around me safe. I am proud of them and I guess I would show my back around if it didn't cause so much pain in your or Julian's eyes.''

They stayed like that for a little while, Mark's hands on top of Emma's which were firmly pressed against her chest and were keeping the towel in place, his head between her shoulder and neck with his forehead burried in could feel his hot breaths against her wetrskin, which was getting colder with time and was glad Mark was there to warm it up. But she knew she had to break up the silnce.

''I really need to change.'' She said and heard Mark chuckle.

''Can I watch?''

This came so unexpected to him she she broke free and slapped him on the arm. ''No you can't!'' She gave him an accusing glance and pointed toward her door. ''Out.''

He smiled and headed toward the door, but before opening it he turned to her and looked at her from head to toe. ''I like your shampoo.'' He told her and left. Emma was left dumbfounded in her room by how fast a situation can go from depressing to something cheerful and less depressing.

Just as she was about to drop her towel to the floor, her door opened once again and she was about to let out some pretty swears, but thankfully manged to keep it in place.

Mark was by the door, one hand covering his eyes, while looking at her direction.

''Just so you know the others are waiting for us in the library. A message from Diana or something like that.'' He said and uncovered one of his eyes to peek. Emma glared at him after witnessig his attempt.

''Too bad.'' He said and shrugged with his shoulders and then left her room just as Emma attempted to throw a pillow at him.


	9. Chapter 9

Long time no see people ! I am so sorry for the long wait but I had a great deal of exams and stress I had to work on and a few mental breakdowns I had to deal with because school is literally killing me, but now that I am done with that bullshit and had a few weeks to chill I am back with a new chapter for you guys. Thank you all for the lovely reviews I read them all a few times because they really inspire and motivate me so without further ado I present you the new chapter!

The moment Emma entered the library a very familiar but yet a new feeling overcame her. All eyes were on her, worried, concerned and full of questions which were to be left for another time, all people present looked at her just the way they had a few weeks back after she had woken up from her long slumber after taking twenty lashes to her back which left it disfigured and scarred for life.

The only difference now was that Livvy didn't throw herself in her arms and didn't praise her for her bravery and stupidity. Nobody really knew what was going on with her right now, but they could clearly see and feel that something was off about her.

Cristina particularly didn't seem to know if she should approach Emma. She looked at her they way her mother had looked at her when she was concerned about her daughter's health after Emma had spiked a fever and was pinned to the bed for a few days.

''Now that we're all here we can begin I guess.'' Diana interrupted the awkaward silence and stepped forward and leaned in front of the big desk after checking Emma herself. All eyes turned to Diana now and after she was sure their attention was with her as well she began: ''We have detected a problem. There seems to be something off about the ocean.''

''There's always been something off with the ocean.'' Emma added sarcastically. ''We don't know what exactly lives there, but I for sure want to know that one particular person is dead and lying at the bottom of it.''

''That is the problem.'' Diana continued. ''We can't detect Malcolm's body, to be more exact Tessa and Jem can't, but they've felt some disturbance in it. As if something has awoken, not fully awoken, but dangerous enough.''

''I don't get it.'' Dru said with a small voice from the corner of the room.

Dina took a deep breath, closed her eyes and when she opened them again, everybody knew it was not good news. ''There is a chance that Malcoml's spell has worked.''

For a brief moment there was silence and shock written on everybody's faces and then there was the immediate reaction: denial.

''No Blackthorn died that night!'' Livvy protested.

''Nobody was hurt bad enough to have his blood used for the spell.'' Julian said. ''Tavvy was saved on time, no blood was shed.''

Diana raised her hands in an attempt to silence them. ''Emma.'' She turned to her and as she did so, everybody else turned to look at her and fell silent. ''You fought Malcom. You were there with him. Do you remember something he told you? Some vital information? Anything?''

The only thing Emma remembered was his words about her doomed love she felt towards her parabatai and the brutal ending they were to experience if they were to acknowlege this love. This was somethig she would never forget, it had struck her so hard she could still hear those words loud and clear as if Malcom was standing beside her and reciting them in her ear.

''Emma?'' Diana aksed again after the short pause which was way too long for Emma.

She shook her head no and crossed her arms in front of her, something trivial for the others, but Julian was able to read her every movement and to know that something was off.

''Nothing.'' Emma said. ''I know I shoud've cut him into tiny pieces, but one of my hands was busy protecting the very thing he was able to use to finish his spell, so I used my feet instead to kick him into the water.''

''He must have told you something.'' Cristina said carefully.

''Nothing to help us with. He was just talking nonsense to distract me.''

''There must have been something. You've changed since you fought him.'' Livvy told her.

''People change after hearing things they don't want to believe to be true.'' Emma answered and turned to go.

''We are not done here yet.'' Diana told her.

''I am.''

''Emma!'' Julian shouted behind her and she stopped. She turned slowly towards him and his anticipating eyes.

''What he told me was personal and has nothing to do with the spell or whatever. It's just that now I doubt the Clave a lot more then I used to, that's all. It is painful to learn the secrets and methods of your own kind from the enemy.''

''What about the Clave?'' Dru asked concerned.

Emma already had her back on them, ready to leave to room. ''Don't trust them, don't believe them or anyone who works for them. They won't protect us, they won't keep us safe.'' Emma turned around and looked at Diana. '' I refuse to trust you or Diego. I don't know what your deal is, but I refuse to trust you in any way, until you both prove you're on our side.''

Silence fell after Emma closed the door behind her and the others lost interest to hear more from Diana. Mark left after Emma and the kids followed him, leaving Julian, Cristina, Diego and Diana behind.

''Whatver he told her and happened on that night'' Julian began and turned to Diana and Diego ''I chose to believe Emma and trust her. Sorry Diana.'' With that he followed the others out. Cristina said nothing, but left shortly after to look for Emma.

~~~~~~~~~~

Emma had her feet ankle deep in the unusually calm water, arms crossed in front of her, hair in a messy bun and thoughts somewhere unknown. She was staring in front of her, eyes unable to focus on the blue of the ocean and the blue of the sky. There was a slight breeze which set her summer dress into motion and a few free strands of hair played across her face, blurring her vision.

If someone was looking at her they'd think a girl was enjoying the wonderful weather, that's how she looked on the outside. If you knew Emma, if you were closer to her in order to see the look on her fce, you'd know she'd be boiling with anger and fury. She was mad and angry and sad all at the same time and she felt like she wanted to fight the ocean, which made her feel like Caligula.

She felt like she needed to feel the cold water all over her body, probably make sure herself that there was no Malcom or Annabel in there, so unconciously she stepped further into the water and before going deeper a hand pulled her a step back and turned her around.

''Didn't you hear me?'' Julian was centimeters away from her face, concern and worry written all over his own face. Emma snapped back to reality as if she was hit and freed her arm from Julian's grip.

''Obviously not.'' She said and stepped away from him.

''What were you thinking? Did you seriously thought about going in there searching for someone? Dressed like this? You hate the water Emma!'' There was despair in his voice as he couldn't fatom the idea of what was happening. And still the fact that he knew what Emma was about to do fascinated her and she knew that their parabaai bond was still strong no matter what happened. He knew when she was in danger, he probably knew how she felt.

''I am not that crazy, don't worry. Why? I can't even let my feet touch the water because I am scared of it now?'' Emma proceeded toward the Institute when Julian stopped her.

''What did he tell you?'' He asked facing her back. ''What did he tell you that you are acting so weird now?''

''It's nothing to concern yourself with.''

''Yes it is!'' He raised his voice. ''Look at you! You are ignoring me, you don't even talk to Cristina, you act strange and over emotional. Emma you have to tell me!''

''It's about my parents.'' She lied and turned around to face him. Her eyes were slightly damp, but Julian thought it could have been the sun that was irritating her. His Emma never cried, not like that. ''That's all. My parents and the way the Clave ignored their deaths and blamed Sebastian Morgenstern. This ignorance they gifted their own kind with, this secrecy and everything is making me hate them more.''

Though she was not lying about how she felt about the Clave, she felt bad lookig into Julian's eyes and telling him only the half of the things that were on her mind and her heart.

''That's a lie.'' He said in a soft voice. ''We both know there is more to it than this.''

Emma's eyes widened only for a moment before she put her pocker face back on.

''I wish it was a lie.'' She told him equally soft. ''You know how the topic about my parents gets me every time. I don't need to tell you details of what exacly Malcom told me about them while we fought, but I wish I've never heard a word from it all.''

There was a short silence between them and before Jualin got the chance to say something that would make Emma come undone she once again turned around and walked back to the Institute. He had this look on his face which always made her want to throw herself into his arms where she would feel safe. But not this time. Different were the hands of comfort for her now. Not Julian's, but Mark's.

Once she reached the steps she saw Cristina, obviously waiting for her to finish her talk with Julian and begin a new one with her. Emma sighed and rolled her eyes.

''I am sorry about today and yes I am fine now and no I can't tell you what's going on, but please'' Emma looked into Cristina's eyes and they both knew that there was something more, that Emma was hurting, but at the same time it was not the right moment to share her secrets with anyone. ''Please stop asking me questions Cristina. I am sorry that I can't tell you, but you of all people should understand that what I am doing is to protect the people I love. I will tell you soon, but for now please stay the silent support you've always been.''

Emma went past her and was ready to go inside when Cristina stopped her.

''Since when is breaking the hearts of the people you love most protectiong them?''

''I'd never thought I'd ever say this, but I'd rather cause enormous pain to the people I love most then watch them getting punished and killed because of me and my actions.''

''Is that why you are with Mark? So that you can break Julian's heart and watch him suffer? How is that saving someone Emma?!''

Emma knew that Cristina's eyes caught more then she ever tried to show, but this was hitting on the nail hard. Now she felt like the four walls she surrounded herself in were suffocating her and there was no place left to run to. Cristina always knew, she always had her eyes on her and she had always worried about every reckless thing that Emma has ever done. But now she sounded mad and insulted. Emma didn't balme her for it. She turned around to face Cristina and looked her with empty eyes drained out of emotion, something that shocked Cristina.

''I am sorry that your heart also got caught into all of this.'' Emma said with emotionless voice, as empty as her eyes were right now. ''I am sorry.''

''Emma!'' Cristina's voice broke and she reached her hands out and hugged Emma tightly. Emma on the other side didn't respond at all and didn't even move a muscle. She just stood there like the statue she felt she was, cold, hard and unresponsive.

''I want you to be happy Emma! I just want you to be happy!'' Cristina burried her face in Emma's shoulder and tightened the grip around her. A small, even cruel smile played around Emma's lips.

''There is no happy for me.'' _Not in a world where I am the cause of my parabatai's pain._

After Cristina let her go, Emma went back inside, leaving the people she loved the most, hurt and confused. There was only one place left for her where she could let out all of her pain.

She knocked softly on Mark's room and when he opened the door for her, she stayed there for a while, before bursting into tears and burying her face into his shirt.

 _This is the only haven I have left..._


	10. Chapter 10

There was indeed something calming in the way Mark patted Emma's head and his fingers got entwined in her hair and simply let her stay in his arms until she's calmed down. He was reading another book, while sitting on the floor, back leaned against the bed and Emma between his legs, arms around his waist and back as if she was holding on dear life and one cheeck on his chest where she could listen to his calmly beating heart which was also soothing her.

He didn't ask questions, he didn't enquire for anything from her, he simply let her cry her eyes out while quietly reading his book, without him disturbing her and vice versa.

Emma already felt the need to shift and adjust her position into a more comfortable one, but she felt like Mark has forgotten her presence and she didn't want to bother him or ruin the moment, because any indication of movement would suggest that she could as well talk, and she didn't feel like talking or explaining herself.

After a few minutes she felt that one of her legs was falling asleep because of the uncomfortable postion she was in and the way she had bend one knee over the other. She moved her legs first and then straightened up, ready to get up of the floor and probably make a silent exit, but Mark helped her himself to get up on her feet again.

''Thank you.'' She said awkwardly and smiled. ''Looks like today I've done more than enough crying for a whole year and you had to witness it all. I am sorry.''

''I am glad you came to me.'' He said and stepped away from her after sensing that they were too close to each other and felt like a certain distance between them was a good idea. ''You looked tempted back then at the beach where you talked to Julian.''

Emma raised her eyebrows and her face changed into a surprised one. ''You saw?''

''I saw.'' He told her and sat back on his bed this time, Emma in front of him standing, so he had to raise his head a little bit in order to look into her eyes. ''I wanted to come to you, but Julian was faster.'' He looked behind him, where the window was. ''And angrier.''

''He wanted to know what probably everybody wants to know.'' She told Mark and went to the window. The weather was sunny and warm, typical for LA. It was Emma that felt like a storm has come and swept her away. Her whole being felt stormy and confused and out of place.

''Do you mind telling me then?'' He asked and Emma let out a heavy sigh. Mark felt discouraged by the sound of it.

''You have to know.'' She told him and turned around. ''I mean the whole reason I came to you with the request to be my fake boyfriend is all connected to what Malcom told me the night before he became seafood.''

Mark just nodded and made sure to make it clear that he was ready to listen. Emma took a deep breath in and approached the bed and sat on it as well, opposite of Mark.

''You've probably guessed the majority of it, you know it is all about Julian, you know how I feel about him and so on, but it is a bigger picture. Because if we were to get caught, the whole family will suffer because of our mistakes.''

''This doesn't sound right. Shouldn't Julian know about it if all of us will suffer?''

Emma smiled a hopless smile and shook her head no.

''I would have told him if it weren't for the advice of someone who has lived long enough to know what to do and how to act in this kind of situation.''

''But Julian is directly involved in this, right? Then he should know.''

''Knowing does not stop the heart from feeling.'' Emma said lost in thought, eye staring at the wall.

''What?'' Mark asked confused and Emma shook her head as if to clear her thoughts.

''The thing is Julian is in love with me, probably has been since many many years, his feelings are earnest and real and true and what he feels toward me is way too strong to stop now. I love him as well, always have, just don't know when I started to feel this way about him.''

''But he doesn't know that you feel the same exact way about him like he does about you.'' Mark concluded in thought and wrinkled his eyebrows. Emma nodded and let the information suck in.

''The reason I can't tell him is becaue it will only give him false hope that we can be together. Him knowing how I feel about him will never stop him from loving me, so I need to break his heart and make sure he hates me or at least doesn't love me the way he does now.''

''Why? Why lie?'' Mark asked and Emma had to let out another smile because this was the very same thing he told her weeks ago when she suggested they pretend to be a couple. Now was the time he learned why she had to lie.

''There is a parabatai curse. Malcom told me.''

''A curse? And you believe him?''

''I have experienced enough of that curse to believe Malcom.''

''What is it? Why didn't we study about it? Why didn't anybody tell us? Ot at least the people who want a parabatai?''

''This is where the Clave comes to play. They don't want the curse to be made known to everybody, because it can be used against them, it can get dangerous. Only a few know about it, like the Silent Brothers and some warlocks like Malcom. Malcom told me about the existance of the curse, which of course I didn't believe in, but I got confirmation and details on it from an ex-Silent Brother and distant family member which made me believe it all.''

''So what Malcom told you, the night you fought him … it was true?'' There was the silent note of him hoping that Emma would say 'no, none of it was true', but he already knew what the answer was. Emma nodded once again and Mark diverted his gaze elsewhere.

''So what is this curse? What does it do to you?'' He asked barely audible with a weak voice as if he was lost and all hope was beaten away from him. Emma felt sorry for him. She saw how much he cared for his younger brother. Day by day he was getting more and more like the old Mark. More concered about his family, more worried about them, more protective, more of the old boy everybody missed and were glad to have by their side again.

''It can only happen if both people are parabatai and in love with each other. _EROS_. The love that all parabatai are forbidden from feeling toward each other. This is how the curse can become real and dangerous.''

''So what does it do to you?'' He asked a bit more impatiently and louder.

''It works like warlock magic.'' Emma told him and saw the confused expression on Mark's face. ''Every rune applied to you from your parabatai is insanely strong and way more powerful than any other rune ever created. The magic that bounds us, the parabatai oath and everything it gets stronger. So strong we could be considered dangerous to all Shadowhunters.''

''I don't get it. It doesn't sound that bad? Does it?''

''This is the simple part I have already experienced. I healed him from poisoning not even a Silent Brother wouldhave healed if you are not on time. At the cave, when we freed Tavvy I am pretty sure I heard Julian in my head telling me to wait for the perfect timing, afterwards he gave me a healing rune, the rune started glowing so I covered it up as fast as I could and the power I felt coming from it through my body was enormous and nothig like I've ever felt before.''

''So this is like a sign that the curse is taking it's turn?''

''Yes.''

''And the bad news?''

''It consumes you. Our minds, our bodies. Eventually we would reach a warlock level, we would want more, our greed will get bigger until it all consume us. We will get dangerous, it will be hard to stop us, we may even hurt the people we love the most. We will abuse it's power. We will lose ourselves. And when the Clave finds out, best case scenario will be getting stripped off our marks. If we survive, we live as mundanes, if not … well that one is obvious. Whatver the outcome will be, it will be bad for both me and Julian and all of you. And I can't let that from happening, I can't let Julian or anyone of you getting hurt because of our feelings we already can't control.''

''But why? Why become parabatai in the first place if you love each other?''

''After you got taken away and Helen was exiled, I were to enter the now reopened Academy and the kids were to be given to other families. Julian couldn't bare the thought of us all separating so he suggested the one and only way he could keep me by his side and I agreed, afraid to be away from him. I never knew it would turn out this way.''

''Julian has always loved you. I've always seen the way he looks at you, the way he cares for you, the way he took the blame for you just becsuse he didn't want to see you getting scolded. It is not surprising to me that he went to those lenghts for you.'' Mark told her and smiled. A warm and friendly smile, one that could make you feel better and safe. Emma smiled back.

''I've thought about telling him, but as I said, a person once told me that the best way to stop those feelings is not acknowledging them, but to break the heart of the other person. Julian mustn't know that I love him, he has to belive that I love you. He has to believe that I am happy with you and that he is my parabatai and nothing more. He has to move on and fall in love with someone else, anyone else but me.''

''Why me? You could have went to your previous boyfrined, Julian looks pretty pissed off by him.''

Emma looked away for a moment and thought before speaking. ''You are closer to me. We can be seen together at all times.''

''That is only half the truth.'' He told her and looked at her in that special way in which Emma knew that she would have to tell him more. She bit her lip and let out another breath.

''You are Julian's weak spot. You make him vulnerable.''

Mark raised an eyebrow uncertain how to process this infromation.

''He told me himlself. That the one thing he would never be able to come back from is me and you being together, me and you being in love with each other.''

There was a long silence between them and Emma felt that even her breathing was too loud and disturbing.

''But why?''

''I guess there is nothing more important to him in the world then mine and your happiness and if we were to share it together it would be something devastating for Julian since he won't be able to hate you like he hates Cameron. Because you are his precious older brother he has always looked up to and he can't hate you even if it meant you being with the girl he loves the most. It will make him hate himself, it will break him and destroy him. That's why.''

Emma was scared for a moment that Mark would call it quits since she was deliberately using him as a weapon to hurt his younger brother. He wouldn't blame him. She should have played with her cards open from the start if she was going to make such cruel requests where it could involve the permanent damage of the relationship between two borthers, who cared too much for each other.

Though Mark now looked like he had different thoughts on his mind, not as serious as Emma's. Maybe he wouldn't say anything about it because he himself was using Emma. Whatver they were doing, whoever they were trying to hurt with their foul play, they might as well try and mend their hearts while they are at it, because all players invovled would be coming damaged out of this game.

''Have you ever...'' Mark began anew, but shook his head as if he thought that what he was about to ask was unasked for and stupid.

''What?'' Emma asked eagerly, just to make sure they didn't stay silent for too long.

''Nothing.''

''No, tell me! Have I ever what?''

Mark giggled and rubbed his eyes. It was now that Emma realized that he looked tired and the information she gave him, made him more exhausted than before.

''There's got be a reason he feels that way about you and me. Something must have happened in the past for him to feel jelous of you being in love with me.''

Emma reverted her eyes as a thought came to mind.

''You know something!'' Mark exclaimed and pointed at her accusingly with his index finger.

''I know nothing!'' Emma answered stubbornly and tunred her back on him.

''Yes you do! Look at you acting like a kid!''

''I am not acting like a kid!''

''You are!'' He told her and tried to turn her around, but Emma got off the bed before he had a chance of even touching her.

''There was this one time I acknowledged your good looks and Julian got upset.'' She told him with a pout and crossed arms in front of her. It was hard being so open about your twelve years old crushes you had on someone who was being considered a young adult and in charge of them at that time.

''One time my fairy behind!'' Mark exclaimed in a joyous voice. ''It must have been more than once for him to act that way! Plus I admit that I am one very well looking individual as well.''

Emma rolled her eyes. ''There we go. Don't exaggerate! You are not that good looking!''

''Good enough for you to stare and Julian to get mad.'' There was a wide and silly smile on Mark's face which made him look younger and pawkier and Emma couldn't help but laugh as well. He did look good when he smiled, but he looked more cute right now. ''How come I never noticed this?''

''You were too busy reading books to pay any attention to what we did. Ty even threw a knife at you, but you barely moved.''

Mark laughed loudly, one hand on his stomach. Emma was glad at least one of them were having the time of their life.

''No wonder Julian would not allow me sit next to you or be next to you if we were to play a game or take a photo! Oh boy this explains soo much!''

''Glad you're enjoying yourself, but pleae if you act cocky I'm going to have to two time you, because that behaviour is not attractive.''

''Yeah, yeah, you are already too deep in this mess to run away now.''

Emma made her way towards the door but Mark caught her hand and spun her around.

''Tell me what you liked about me? Which part?''

''Oh Raziel, no!'' Emma tried to free her hand, but he was holding her in a tight grip and was pulling her to him.

''Tell me or I won't let you go!'' The smile on his face grwe bigger and bigger with every moment.

"Mark! You are being ridiculous!'' Emma manged to open his door and step in the hallway, but he was still pulling her to himand was refusing to let her go. They both were using some serious strenght at the moment even if they were joking and playing around.

''Tell me!''

''Someone may hear us!'' Emma whispered concered and looked around to see if the coast was clear.

''Let them hear, we are playing the way we should be anyways.'' He winked and again started pulling her back in his room, but Emma was figting back.

''If I tell you will you let me go?''

''Yes."

''Promise?''

Mark nodded and Emma sighed.

''Your cheekbones.''

''Just that? It can't be all, can it?'' He asked with a wicked smiled and pulled Emma harder to him, to the point where her chest was touching his.

''I don't know, your face! I was twelve do you really think I can remember?'' Emma was now struggling with the hand on her back, since this made it harder for her to pull away.

''My face is better!''

''LET GO!''

''Not a satisfying answer. What else?''

''By the Angel, Mark!''

''There's gotta be more!'' 

''Fine! FINE! Everything.''

''Everything?'' 

''Yes, everything!'' 

''You haven't seen everything to like everything!'' 

''Let go!''

''Come back inside and I will show you everything and then you can judge and decide if you like everything about me!' 

''Oh, hell no!'' 

Emma freed herself in one manoeuvre and ran down the hallway while laughing. She slowed down after a while and when she turned back she was not surprised to find the hallway empty. She laughed again and turned to go when Mark appeared in front of her and surprised her.

They both proceeded towards the entrance of the Institute while running, with Mark chasing after Emma until they were outside on the beach, where Emma was on the defensive and Mark on the offensive. Something she thought would never happen. Everybody knew her as the first one to attack, but not to defend unless needed.

Mark tried a few attempts to catch her, but failed. The quiet afternoon was now filled with the sounds of their laughter and Emma's strong objection about seeing everything Mark had to offer and then decide if she really liked everything about him. In an desperate attempt to intimidate her, he tried taking his shirt of, but Emma stopped him, which caused the perfect opportunity for him to catch her and they both got more touchy with each other, with Emma trying to tickle Mark.

Everything was games and smiles until one particular sound made them both stop in their tracks, with cold fear and shivers running down their spines. They froze the moment the horrible sound, familiar and unwelcomed, made it's way to their ears. Mark was holding Emma's forearm and the smiles that were on their faces moments ago, disappeared as if they never were there.

It was that one sound that brought only bad news and despair with itself.

It was Gwyn's horn.


	11. Chapter 11

Emma and Mark were both looking in the same direction, eyes on the figures who were slowly making their way to them. And while Mark was still holding on Emma's forearm, she also used the opportunity to get a hold of his hand as well. Now they both had a steady, if not a too tight grip on each other's forearms.

For Mark it was a way to keep Emma by his side and prevent her from jumping on the necks of the people that he knew she never really liked and was always ready to cut into pieces. Even though they had no weapons on them, no knifes, not even a single stick or even a stone was laying around for them to use, Mark knew Emma's biggest weapon was her own body and she would put it to good use if it meant killing fearies. He was a bit worried about another weapon he couldn't really control: her mouth and the words she used to provoke the enemy. He couldn't really shut her up, not unless he wanted his hands cut off.

Emma on the other side made sure that Mark won't be taken away, not on her watch, not when she was a trained Shadowhunter. She also didn't want him walking around or being too far away from her reach. She held on him just so that she could be sure he was there, because her eyes were too busy now to check on him.

It was a win-win situation for both of them.

They shifted a little bit and came closer to each other when Gwyn and his tree friend Iarlath and Mark's ex-boyfriend came close enough and stopped in front of them. Gwyn half nodded, half bowed his head in a greating.

''We meet again Carstairs.'' Iarlath said mockingly with a playful look on his face as he looked at Emma. ''Blackthorn.'' He then acknowledged Mark as well though it was obvious he was more keen on seeing Emma again.

''We wouldn't have if you knew what private property meant and stopped coming here uninvited and mostly unwanted.'' Emma spat with still controled anger and looked at the three of them with poisonous eyes. Mark twitched his lips as if to make her take it down a notch and squeezed her hand. Emma didn't react at all because she was too consumed and busy hating the newly arrived guests. One thing was for sure: If looks could kill, Iarlath would be nothing but ashes by now. That's how scary Emma's eyes looked right now.

''Please do not misunderstand Carstairs.'' Gwyn added with his deep, but somehow gentle voice. For the leader tyrant of his little gang and the Wild Hunt, he seemed too nice and honorable to Emma. He didn't fit at all with the rest of the Fairy bastards. ''We are here in your favour.''

Emma grunted as mockingly as she could and rolled her eyes so far back, that she had the feeling with a little more force she would actually be able to meet her command center: her brain.

''Since when do Faeries come in the favour of Shadowhunters? That is just a pretext to lead us into another roller coaster of bullshit and blunders.''

''Emma!'' Mark exclaimed and squeezed her hand. She didn't respond to him. In fact she was ignoring him. Maybe she had really forgotten that he was right there, next to her, holding her arm. But every little movement Mark made, Emma's grip on his arm tightened. She was not letting him go anywhere. She was sure to keep him by her side.

''I do realise that the last time we met, things didn't go in a friendly way, but we come as messengers this time. We only need to deliver some news to you.'' Gwyn said in a calm manner. He stayed stoic and true to himself even though Emma was ready to break one of his limbs.

''Nothing good comes out of your messeges and news.'' Emma told more to herself than the others.

''It is more like an invitation.'' Kieran said, who had been silent until now and focused on Mark. There was sorrow and pain written on his face, but also certain rage and disgust. He probably wasn't happy with the fact how fast Mark moved on and where his hands were right now. He looked at Mark straight in the eyes as he said the next words. ''An invitation from the Unseelie King himself.''

Emma felt Mark tensing beside her and when she looked at him, his lips were slightly parted and eyes wide.

''Your father." He said in a whisper barely audible. Kieran nodded his head once a yes and diverted his eyes elsewhere. The tone he spoke with Mark was formal and distant, as if they never had any history, but Mark's response was more familiar, maybe it was something Kieran hadn't expected or even missed. Whereas Kieran tried to put some distance between them, Mark unconsciously destroyed it as if it meant nothing to him, or as if he didn't even notice it.

''I don't give a damn even if Raziel himself wanted to meet us. If the King has something to say, then he should come to us. I am tired of dirty tricks and going places just because some people are unable to leave their home for reasons unknown.''

Mark once again had to squeez Emma's hand, this time to warn her to be more careful of the way she talked and the way she used her words. Emma really didn't care. A worm deserved more respect than the creatures before her.

Gwyn let out a small smile, the meaning behind it could be interpreted in a thousand different ways, but Emma was sure he was amused. Faeries were always amused. Especially when they were having it their way.

He reached behind his armour and stretched his hand toward Emma.

''This is a small whistle. Blow it and we will come to collect you. The King believes you are soon going to need his help and some questions answered. He also would like to meet the Blackthorn family and the last Carstairs.'' Gwyn told her in an unchanged tone, his eyes steady on Emma. One black, the other pale blue.

''I am not the last Carstairs.''

''The one who wields Cortana and is still fighting for their friends and family as a Shadowhunter, as someone from this world, but not the mundane one is considered for him the one and only Carstairs remaining.''

''What? He liked the story about me getting whipped that much?'' Emma grunted and smirked, while once again rolling her eyes. She asked the question in a playful way, but everybody knew she was not into games.

''He is more surprised of your actions and curious about the reason why you went to such lenghts doing what you did and your abilities as an outstanding warrior of the Carstairs family. I too, am curious about your actions young Carstairs.'' Gwyn told her and gave Mark a quick glance then looked around as if he was looking for someone. Someone in particular. ''And the reason behind them.'' He added finally, again looking into her eyes with certain curiosity and interest which was untypical for someone of the Hunt.

''Better not ask about my outstanding abilites as a worrior because your back is next that is going to experience them first hand.''

Iarlath stepped forward in a protective, but mainly forbidding manner as to beat some sense in Emma, but Gwyn stopped him by just raising his hand.

''We are done here.'' He told the men that accompanied him, while he had his eyes pinned on Emma's. He handed the little golden whistle that resembled a horn to Mark, who took it without saying anything.

The men were ready to go when Iarlath turned around again and mockingly looked at Emma. ''How is your back?'' He asked with a disgusting satisfaction and a monster-like smile.

Mark stepped a bit forward, just so that one of his legs was in front of Emma, ready to stop her in case she was about to throw herself at him. He deserved whatever was coming to him, Mark knew that. But he couldn't risk letting Emma getting hurt or even worse, killing someone from the Unseelie Court since this was going to bring more trouble to the family.

Gwyn himself looked ready to jump in between if something more serious than verbal accusations was to occur. He placed himself slighly in the middle, between Emma and Iarlath. Kieran had eyes only for Mark and didn't seem bothered by what was actually going on. He remained silent and further back from the whole group.

Emma smiled to the surprise of everyone. A sincere smile.

''Disfigured and scarred for life.'' She said calmly and proudly while looking into Iarlath's eyes. Gwyn looked at her and Emma couldn't help but see that here was certain gentleness in his eyes. He looked almost apologetic, but said nothing.

''Sorry.'' Iarlath said wihtout meaning it, while still smiling as if he had won the lottery.

''I take pride in my scars and wounds.'' Emma told him and stopped him as he was ready to go. He only half tunred his head to her, not looking at her. The smile was almost gone off his face.

''My back is my biggest canvas.'' Emma continued while lookig at him. This caused Iarlath to look at her again, but this time he was truly curious about her words. ''And it is currently painted with the biggest work of art. My biggest pride and the most beautiful thing.'' She said slowly while a cruel smile made it's way on her lips. The tables have turned and now it was Emma that had big satisfactory smile on her face.

Iarlath on the other side looked like he'd been whipped across the face himself. He never ever has expected this kind of answer and reaction from her. He couldn't say anything to that so he just turned around and walked away, the others behind him.

Mark releaxed and let out a sigh. He truly was worried about another round of whips and who knows what else might as well happen if Emma hadn't had herself in control.

Gwyn turned around and looked at Emma with somewhat prideful eyes. He indeed seemed satisfied from everything he heard today. Emma wished she could throw a handful of sand in his face, just so that she could wipe away the smug look on his face.

''Carstairs.'' He said with loud and authoritative voice. ''It is too bad that the Wild Hunt does not take in any women.''

And with this he was gone.

''What the hell was this about?'' Emma asked confused and it was now that she noticed Mark standing in front of her covering her from Gwyn. ''Why are you like this?'' She asked him and pulled him towards the Institute. ''They are gone. Let's go and serve some more bad news. As if we didn't have enough of them already.''

While they were walking to the Institite Mark was constantly turning around to check their surroundings. He looked more alert now than ever.

''I don't like what Gwyn told you.''

''What? About the Wild Hunt? He just acknowledged me as a good fighter, nothing to worry about.''

''That's exactly it. He acknowledged your abilites. He showed interest. It is not good when he shows interest.''

Emma stopped abruptly and Mark stopped as well. He turned to her and looked at her. They stayed like this for a moment.

''No women are allowed in the Hunt.'' She told him reasurringly.

''No.'' He said. ''But exceptions are always made, there is always a first time, if not for the Hunt, for something else.''

''Mark!'' She raised her voice and touched his arm. ''You are talking nonsense right now. If Gwyn has any interest in me, it better be about a good fight because I haven't killed a thing in weeks and I am on serious withdrawal effects.''

Marked focused his gaze on her face and after breathing in a few time he nodded.

''Is this about Kieran?'' Emma asked gently. Mark's eyes widened and he shook his head no.

''This was a fast answer.'' She told him and laughed. ''If you need to talk to somebody about anything, you can always come to me, just like I come to you to cry. We are going to need each other now. We are going to support each other if we want to make this work, okay?''

Mark smiled and nodded again. He placed one hand on Emma's cheek and kissed the top of her head.

''Let's go serve some bad news.'' He said and took Emma's hand in his own. She laughed and they walked back together to the Institute with smiles on their faces they knew were soon about to get erased.


	12. Chapter 12

''So we just need to blow the whistle … and we're there? At the Unseelie Court?''

Livvy was sitting on top of the table, where she usually was to be found seated, but this time instead of hovering over Tiberius's head and looking at the laptop's screen, she was curiosuly observing the little golden whistle, which Emma and Mark got from Gwyn. They told them what had happened while the two of them were outside and summed up the conversation they had.

''Not exactly.'' Emma corrected her. ''More like they'll come and collect us. That's what he said.''

Everybody was around the table, skeptically observing the faerie object, only Livvy daring to sit close to it and watch it with curious eyes.

''That's all they came for?'' Diego asked and looked at Emma and Mark as if he didn't believe them. ''The three of them? For that tiny whistle?''

''Now that you mention it they did whip my ass before going...'' Emma turned to him and smiled.

''Don't start it!'' Cristina raised her hands. She genuinely looked tired from everything she was hearing, she certainly did not want to hear more than the needed, especially a possible fight between two of their best fighters.

''That is all they came for.'' Mark had the courtesy to answer the question before another round of cat and dog fight could form itself. ''Just to rely the messege that we'll need the help of the King anytime soon and he himself would like to meet the Blackthorns and Emma.''

''Was there any emphasis on the names? Like Blackthorns and Emma only?'' Livvy asked. ''Cause that would mean Diego, Cristina and Diana can't come with us.''

''Wow now sister!'' Emma turned her head to Livvy and looked at her as if she was looking at someone knew. ''Who said we are going? Who said we are keeping this infernal thing in the house?''

''Emma's right.'' Julian said and rested his hands on the table while looking at the whistle. ''We can't trust them. Remember the case when Clary and Simon used the faerie rings and the Queen knew everything they were talking about and that's how she could rely the whole information to Sebastian. We don't know what this thing could do. We don't know who the Faeries are siding with. If we are going there, we'd be going blindfolded and we better be expecting a fight or worse.''

''Hold on!'' Cristina raised her voice. ''Why do you sound like you're considering it?''

Everybody turned their heads to Julian, waiting for an explanation.

''It's inevitable. Once you get a ' _gift_ ' from the Faeries, the King himself, you are bound to use it. Call it a trap, call it a decoy, call it whatever you want, but we do need answers and we do have hella lot of question the Clave or any other Shadowhunter won't answer us.''

There was a short silence and a synchronized exhalation, irritated clicking of the lips of a few, all in defeat. It was a fair point they got served.

''So history repeats itself more or less. The Fearies are back in the game.'' Emma said while looking at the whistle.

''How so?'' Dru asked her.

''They'd ask for help, we'd also need help, we will agree upon something and work together, then one side will break the promise or straight up won't keep it like the Seelie Queen did and if she is told to be better than the King I don't even want to know how bad the King must be in comparison because that Seelie Queen was straight up little nasty who-''

''She was bad we get it!'' Julian interrupted her passionate speech and gave Emma a sign with his head towards Dru and Tavvy. She cleaned her throat and apologized for the language.

''So now that we know that we can't trust them, we'd be the ones to not play by the rules.'' Cristina suggested.

''It can't be that easy. We are over thinking everything right now.'' Julian rubbed his eyes in annoyance. He looked tired and his T-shirt had paint stains on it. They seemed fresh and Emma was glad that he was still able to find his peace more or less in drawing things. She hoped it wasn't her, lying in a pool of her own blood. She really hoped he wasn't that mad at her.

''What else did they say?'' Diego asked and looked again at Emma and Mark.

They looked at each other and then back at the others.

''That was it.'' Emma said.

''Really? Can I believe that?'' Diego looked at her skeptical and with his fair share of distrust.

''Yes, Inspector Rosales. Can I trust you though? What is your deal anyways? How long are you planning on staying here and spying on us?''

''Guys!'' Cristina cried in pain and shut her eyes close. ''Please don't! We have bigger problems to concentrate on!''

''I doubt that. Why do I get the feeling that the bigger problems are always the diversion of the smaller, vital and most important ones?''

''Guys!'' Cristina said louder.

''You seem to have trust issues.'' Diego told Emma, while ignoring the others and their pleas and reactions just as Emma did.

''You would too if a long term friend you shared meals with, had over your house, took care of some stuff for you and generally acted like an angel and someone you could count on turned out to be the bloody murderer of your parents, who by the way died in vain and as guinea pigs, and then played it cool as if nothing happened and then tried to kill an innocent child just so that he can have his dead girlfriend back!''

For a moment everybody took in a breath and held it in for a while. It was such a chilling silence that Emma even felt cold after what she'd said. She was out of her mind to speak like that in front of that audience, she knew it, but sometimes saying thing out loud maybe could help teach some people their place.

Julian was avoiding her eyes, and for a good reason everybody else's eyes as well. Dru had one hand on Tavvy protectively as if he was in an immediate danger and Livvy and Ty stayed the way they were, just a little bit more shocked and flustered by Emma's words.

Cristina's face was one full of concern, pain and sympathy, while Diego's look softened after looking into Emma's eyes, which were full with rage and pain.

Mark stayed still and after a while, he as well sat on the table, on the other end opposite of Livvy with his hands crossed, where he had a good visual and could keep Emma in sight.

''What I am saying is that I can't trust someone who comes from a totally new and different place of the Shadow world, while refusing to share any of the information they have access to. One time getting stabbed in the back like this is way more than enough for me to lose my trust in most people.'' Emma explained and after calming down she sat in one of the chairs by the window.

''And when I say there was nothing else said, then it is true. Is Iarlath asking about my back and condition a vital infromation to the topic? I think it's a pure mocking ploy to get me out of control so that I can cut his tree ass into pieces and cause more trouble. That is all.'' She conclued while looking at everyone, whose mood was already destroyed after her mentioning Malcom and his deeds. They all had tired and sullen expressions on their faces and all eyes were directed at the floor or ceiling. In the end everybody knew Malcom and even loved. The only difference was that Emma's love turned to hate faster than her swinging Cortana.

''Let's just call it a day.'' Julian broke the silence.

''What about the whistle?'' Livvy asked and pointed to it with her index finger. Julian sighed as he himself didn't have the slightes idea of what he was to do with the object.

''Can I step on it?'' Emma asked from the window, which she was looking through. But instead of outside, she looked at the reflexion of the others. Jualin who looked and probably felt hopless and lost. Mark who stayed silent. Cristina who was constantly worried about her being. Dru and Tavvy who looked afraid. Ty who only looked at the whistle and avoided all eye contact. Livvy who was trying to cheer up the situation. They looked like a picture, a picture with it's figures moving and breathing against the glass Emma was looking them at. A picture that looked anything but happy.

''NO!'' Everybody exclaimed at the same time. Everybody with a different intonation. Some very tired, others very fast and worried. Emma smiled and turned to them.

''So now we know we keep it.'' She told them and once again smiled. ''Where? It has to be somewhere safe.''

It seemed to her that the moment she changed her tone to a lighter one, more cheerful and reassuring one Dru and Tavyy didn't look so tense now. She was sorry to them that hey had to witness and hear all this from her, but also gad she had some influence on their moods and was able to cheer them up.

''I'll put in the library in one of the boxes.'' Julian said and proceeded to take the whistle from the table. 

''Okay, let's eat something I am starving.'' Livvy announced and stretched herself like a cat.

''I'll make something.'' Cristina suggested.

''I'll help!'' Livvy said and both of them got out the room.

''I'll be in my room.'' Ty said and left as soon as he could. Emma had the feeling he won't be in his room. He'd be trying to talk to Kit, like he did every day.

''I want to sleep.'' Tavvy said and rubbed his eyes.

''How about I put you to sleep?'' Emma suggested. Tavvy looked at her precariously and looked at Julian as well. She wanted to take some of the work off Julian's shoulders. She wanted to help him more. And since she was a disaster in the kitchen, she had already had some experience in taking care of Tavvy when he was little. Even saved his life. ''If you want.'' She added sensing that things were going more toward a 'no'.

''Can Mark come as well?'' Tavvy asked and looked at Emma. She turned around to look at him and he looked ready to sleep himself. It looked like she'd be putting two kids to sleep. What else she did notice was the way Julian's shoulders tensed by the mention of Mark's name. He was not keen on the idea of having both Emma and Mark putting Ty to sleep.

''Okay.'' She said and let Tavvy lead the way to his room. Before leaving with Mark she asked Dru if she needed anything, but by her crappy excuse, she seemed like she was going to go after Perfect Diego and stalk him. That was fine with her, at least Emma wouldn't worry about him staying alone with Cristina and having things his way.

After everybody left she stayed behind, alone with Julian.

''Do you need anything?'' She asked him and Julian shook his head no.

''I am going shopping tomorrow. I need new stuff, do you?'' Julian shook his head no again.

Emma bit her lip and nodded then left the room and headed to Tavvy's room where Mark was already waiting, not sure of what to do.

Tavvy still had his tent up, full of pillows and blankets inside, with lights and books and stuffed animals. He got inside and Emma and Mark positioned themselves on each side of the tent's entrance.

''So which book do you want to read?'' Emma asked while Tavvy was adjusting his position.

''None. I want to hear a real story!''

Emma made a grimace bacause all real stories she had to tell were a bloody and messy hell and most certainly not a goodnight story. Not something you'd have sweet dreams of, a pure nightmare which was actually very true. She looked at Mark and saw he had the exact same expression as she did and laughed. None of them had a good story for someone as innocent and pure to the world as Tavvy, who sadly soon enough would get his fair share of blood on his hands.

''Why are you laughing?'' He turned around and laid down on his tummy.

''We don't really have a suitable story for you. Not a real one at least.'' Emma told him apologetically and ruffled his hair.

''Then can I ask questions?''

''Sure.''

''Do you like Mark?''

Emma was fine with the question stuff until that came up. She didn't consider Tavvy asking question like that, more did she believe she'd be forced to lie to the youngest and most honest Balckthorn of all. She didn't want to do it. She didn't want to lose his trust. It's not that she didn't like Mark, she did in fact a lot, they did have a lot in common, but she knew where Tavvy was heading. Even though he was young, his eyes also caught up fast on things.

''Yes.'' She told him and felt the temperature rising since she felt Mark's eyes on her and she was currently looking into Tavvy's ones which seemed to be able to look through a lie. It was a test and she was pinned by two Blackthorns.

''Why?''

''What kind of questions are those? Are you the Inquisitor? Go to sleep.'' Mark stepped in and playfully pushed Tavvy's head into the pillow. Tavvy and Mark both laughed while Emma felt the regret in her decision about putting Tavvy to sleep.

''Mark do you like Emma?''

''Yes.''

''Why?''

Instead of answering Mark pushed Tavvy's head once again on the pillow.

''Why are you asking?'' Mark asked.

''I am interested.''

''Why? Do we look like we like each other?''

''Yes.''

''Really? We do?'' Mark was surprised by the answer and turned to Emma. ''We do!'' He repeated the answer to her and she felt her cheeks getting warmer. He looked so surprised and happy about it, and his smile didn't help much. He looked cheerful and as happy as a kid.

''Do you have anything against it?'' Mark asked Tavvy while playing with one of his stuffed animals.

''No, I am glad.'' He giggled.

''And why is that?''

While Mark was curiosuly asking questions Emma felt like burying herself hundred feet under the ground.

''Because if you marry then Emma will also be a Blackthorn and nobody will ever try to separate us because we will be a big family sharing the same name.''

Emma forgot for a moment or two how to breath and how to blink, but she was sure her face was going to win against a tomato in a competition of who was more red. Her immediate reaction was to bury her own face in the multiple pillows which were spread on the floor and in the tent where Tavvy was and cover her head with blankets.

''Stop it!'' She said with muffled voice, embarassed and that probably was the most girlsih tone to ever make it's way out of her mouth.

Mark himself stood frozen and in shock after hearing what Tavvy told him.

They both haven't thought that far in the future, simply because there was no future for them as a couple. Not unless they really needed to play the game until it's end.

Emma got up with all the blankets on her head and tried to make her way out of the room.

''I am going! You can manage without me!'' She told Mark while searching for the door.

''Why is she leaving like that?'' Tavvy asked quietly and a bit anxious.

''She likes me that much that she is embarrased and can't even look me in the eye.'' Mark told him and they both giggled.

''I heard that!'' She told them both and after hitting her head a few times, she finally manged to get out of the room and into the hallway where she manged to scare Dru because of all the balnekts on her which made her look like she came out of a horror movie.


	13. Chapter 13

OMG YOU GUYS HAVE YOU READ THE NEW SNIPPET FROM LORD OF SHADOWS? It's SOOO Emmark I can't! There's the link to it: post/149180534922/cassandraclare-lord-of-shadows-snippet  
Plus thank you all for the reviews it's what keeps me going REALLY REALLY HUGE THANKS TO YOU GUYS! I couldn't believe that people were going to read this one shot or that it will turn out to be a full fanfic! Thank you so much!

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It hasn't even been a long moment before Emma heard the vicious sound of the stormy and wild ocean. She was lying on her bed, unable to find sleep because of what Tavvy had just told her. She was wondering if Mark and Tavvy were okay on their own, but given that nobody came screaming to her room, it could safely be concluded that everything was under control. She was the one with some crazy pictures in her mind that needed calming more than ever.

The ocean has been exceptionally loud and restless in the past few days. Ever since Malcom faded into it along his secrets. This didn't feel like the storm was calling out to her anymore, it felt like something was awakening. Something was making it's way to the surface, something wicked and cruel, something that was not supposed to be there. 

Emma sat on her bed and listened more intently to the sound of the ocean. Her room was dark, there were clouds covering the moon, the only light coming in was from a passing car or the street lamps. She thought she heard a growl and something in her froze. She gave the sounds one last chance, before she got up and looked through her window.

The blood from her face went straight to her heels and she lost color. The hairs on her arms and back straightened up and she got in position just like wild cats do when they get ready for their attack or defense. 

There were more than dozens of demons coming out of the ocean, making the strange growling noises as they approached the surface. Emma was in her pyjama and had no time to change. She just put on a jacket as a protection, but that was not going to be much help since her legs and feet were bare.

She ran straight to Julian's room, knocked on the door and entered without waiting for an answer. She woke him up, but instead of saying anything she just tossed a sweatshirt at him and nodded at the window and left to alert the others. This was more than enough of infromation for him. He knew what to do. 

She woke Cristina and Diego up, she met Livvy in the hallway and she looked pretty scared herself.

''What is going on?'' She asked a bit sleepy, but Emma knew she was more alert and on her feet than ever. 

''It's an emergancy, there are demons outside the Institute, if you want to fight I can't really stop you right now, but I also don't want to be responsible if Julian has anything against it. Wake Ty up and make sure he contacts Diana and takes care of Dru and Tavvy okay?''

Without waiting for an answer Emma went straight to Tavvy's room where he and Mark were sleeping next to each other. Emma gently shook Mark and made sign for him to follow her without waking up his little brother.

''It's an emergancy. We're under attack. Get what you need Ty is going to take care of things inside and contact Diana, we need to fight.''

''Wait, what?''

''Just come out we have no time!'' Emma told him as she was running down the hallway.

Already in front of the door she met with the others. All had the same look: messy hair, pyjamas on and half gear on them, weapons in hands.

''Somebody needs to stay put inside.'' Julian said as he zipped his jacket.

''Ty is taking care of that. He is calling Diana.'' Livvy said while doing her shoes.

Emma slipped in her boots which were luckily beside the door and took Cortana. The only weapon she had on her, the only weapon she really needed.

She headed out and the others followed. There was not much to say, they just started killing the demons that were too close to the Institute.

For Emma, even if it sounded wrong, this was a gift from the Angel. She hadn't fought and killed a thing in so long, all of that tension that was build in her was finally going to go away. All of her anger and frustration and every negative emotion she kept capsuled inside of her was now her strenght in this fight. She was burning with desire to slash her sword in the demons and tear them apart.

Everybody was doing their fair share of killings, but Emma was the only one who really enjoyed it. The demons were not weak either, so they made up a nice challenge. The ichor that came from them after being halfed was poisonous and burning on the skin and Emma knew she was going to need more the one healing rune afterwards.

More and more seemed to be coming out of the water, twice as big as an avarage human with tentacle-like hands and horrible looking heads. If you could say that those things were their heads.

After killing all of the demons that manged to make their way on the beach, Emma noticed there were a few more in the water struggling to get out, some already giving up and returning back where they came from. Emma couldn't let that happen. She took her boots off and noticed one demon particulaly close to Julian.

''Julian!'' She shouted his name and he looked up to her. Instead of saying anything Emma was running like wild towards him and Julian knew what to do. He bent over and offered his back to Emma as she stepped on him and used him as lavarage to thrust herself up. While being mid-air she swung Cortana and slayed one of the demons. Her feet were knee deep in the water, but that was not stopping her from fighting.

It was a rather long and intense fight since they were outnumbered but Emma was eager to kill every single one of them as she was going furhter into the water. Julian called after her and warned her to be careful, but she was deaf to everyting else except the sound of the fight in front of her. Plus the water was calming her burnt feet from all the poison that got sprayed on them.

Soon the very last of the demons was dead and Emma's torso was in the water. She was breating heavily, but felt good and satisfied with all the work she had done. Even though it meant this was just a warning to something bigger. Even though it meant there were more of them. The ocean was after all an unknown place to humanity. It had it's secrets and creatures.

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''Diana is on her way.'' Ty said running down the stairs to meet the group that just fought off two dozens of demons.

''Diana is always late!'' Emma grumbled under her breath while squeezing the water from her pyjama bottom. Now that she could look all of them, they looked pretty messed up. A few burns on their skin where there was no protection, blood and opened wounds, messy hair, sweaty faces, breathing heavily. Emma had blood stains on her jacket and face, her hair had come undone from her braids and the satisfactory smile she had on her face made her look crazier than she really was.  
''What happened to you?'' Kit said from behind Ty. He had just woken up from all the comotion.

''Just missed what could have been your field training day.'' Emma joked and winked at him. She cleaned Cortana carefully of the blood and hanged the sword back where it ususlly stood, beside the door.

''We need to talk about this, we have to do something about this before it happens again.'' Diego said.

''You don't say, Captain Mexico. Thing are about to get down. This was just a warm up.'' Emma said pointing at the door. "The beginning of the beginning."

Everybody sighed and looked down.

''And you want to hear another funny thing? Happens right after the faeries come to us with a golden whistle. Coincidence? I think not!''

''She's right. We are left without any choices.'' Livvy said.

''So, what you mean is that we're going to have to blow that whistle?'' Mark asked. There was short silnce as everyone thought about it.

''Diana doesn't have to know. No, she _mustn't_ know about it.'' Emma said and made sure everyone was on the same side as she was. They were in no position to trust anybody right now. Especially not their mentor that was going to report to the Clave. ''Plus I am not blowing anything, I got a feeling I am going to be the laughing stock of the faeries anyways so I'd rather not make the first move.''

Before anyone could say anything else the front door opened and Diana came in, all dressed up and ready to fight.

''What the hell happened here?''

~~~~

After taking another hour explaining things to Diana, everyone was dismissed and could go to sleep. That is if they could actually fall asleep. They didn't say anything about the faeries coming to them or the golden whistle, which they were given. Everyone had their story to tell, but every story was made up so well that it matched perfectly with the others.

Diana has decided to sleep at the Institute in one of the many rooms and Livvy helped her get some clean sheets and pillows. While climbing the stairs Emma and Julian nodded to each other. What that meant nobody knew, but for them it was definetly something that meant more than a simple nod. Maybe a whole sentence or a story. Mark was behind them and couldn't help but notice how well they worked together.

He remembered when Emma had used his back earlier as a levarage to push herself up and how she just called his name all the while running towards him. They could read each other, no words were needed for them to communicate. He wondered how hard it was for Emma to hide her feelings from him, since he was able to read her so well.

He remembered earlier today when he saw Kieran and how hard it was for him to hide the curiosity he felt towards him. If it was this hard for him, than how hard it was for Emma who was living under the same roof as Julian? How hard it was to lie to somebody, that knows you better than yourself? How hard it is to hurt someone delibaretly, just so that you can keep them safe? How hard was it to lie to your better half, to yourself, to someone you were bound to for life?

He suddenly remembered the talk he and Tavvy had, about Emma becoming a Blackthorn. What if this lie had to continue for a life time? What if Julian was unable to fall in love with another girl and Emma was forced to marry another guy and pretend she doesn't love him for the rest of her life?

She'd be living in a lie for ever, but given her situation she already was. Malcom, whom she was so close to her, turned out to be the killer of her parents. Someone she has trusted so much, someone who she probably had loved, was the exact same person who took her family away.

He was silently walking behind them, watching them, thinking about the future and how hard it was going to get, how impossible for him to lie.

 _Love makes liars of us all._ He had heard this somewhere. How true it was. They were all liars. All of them. He himself, Emma, Julian, Cristina, Diana, the twins, everybody. The only pure and honest soul in the hous was litte Tavvy. Little Tavvy who had alredy had way too many near death experiences. Mark hoped that at least he won't make the mistakes his brothers made. He hoped he will stay true to himself and the people around him.

Mark was so lost in thought he hadn't noticed that Julian was already gone and he was silently following Emma to her room. He jerked up from the sudden realisation, but Emma was alredy at her door and invited him in.

''You seem like you need to tell me something eargently.'' She told him as she moved in her room and took her jacket off.

She was in high spirits he noticed. She seemed realxed and calm and like the old Emma and he didn't want to ruin her night.

''You seem okay.'' He told her.

''Sure, why wouldn't I be?''

''I don't know I mean we got attacked in the middle of the night, plus a lot of things are happening and I am just worried.''

''About what exactly?'' She asked and sat on the bed next to Mark, who was staring at the fingers of his hands.

''You. Julian. Me. Everybody in general I guess.''

''Look, today's fight was something very much needed. I got a lot of the tension off my shoulders, plus I realised I could still count on and fight side by side with Julian. We were still able to act like we are supposed to act in needed situations. I am glad for today, even though it sounds cruel.''

''So that's what has been on your mind? If you could fight with Julian by your side?''

''Yes, one of the many things that has been worrying me. But now I know we can still function like parabatai in a fight. Like parabatai _are_ supposed to work and function.''

Mark nodded and rubbed his face. He didn't want to talk about the serious stuff right now. Emma seemed at peace with herself and he knew she was going to need a good rest. He got up and headed to the door but he was so lost himself he didn't know where to go. Back to Tavvy? His room? The roof?

''Why don't you stay here?'' Emma told him as if she had just read his mind and he turned around. She was still sitting on her bed and was looking him in the eyes. ''You seem like you have a lot of questions and worries on your mind right now. You can share them with me.''

Mark moved his eyes from hers to the ground.

''Or.'' She said and stood up. ''You can just stay here and think all you want, but at least you'll know there is somebody ready to listen.'' She moved closer ro him and tried to catch his eyes. He was so quiet and still. He didn't move at all as if he was a statue. ''Mark?'' She bent a bit so that she could see his face.

''It seems to me that you haven't said my name in a long while.'' He told her and smiled.

''Will you stay?'' She asked and waited for an answer.

He remembered the other day when she told him the truth. That he was the best weapon against his own brother's feelings. He was also hurting him. _You are Julian's weak spot. You make him vulnerable._

He pulled Emma into a tight hug and rested his chin on top of her head.

''I'll stay.'' He told her. _I will have to stay if I don't want to see how the two of you go insane because of the love you're not supposed to feel. I will stay by your side. I will stay forever if I have to. I will stay._ ''I will stay.'' He told her once again and patted her back.


	14. Chapter 14

Lovely, lovely reviews as always thank you all, that is such a huge support and motivation to actually write I am so happy that this story is read and liked and favoured and what not! I updated the story and added a cover to it, the amazing art is by the one and only Cassandra Jean, whom I got the permission to use her art work! Thanks to her we have that hot and sexy moment between Emma and Mark! Here is the new chapter I hope you like it and please review it as well!  
Sorry for being late but school happened and I've been depressed lately so sorry for making you wait so long.

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Emma couldn't tell if it was morning or night. She was breathing rather hard. After waking up and fully coming to her senses she realized she was entangled with Mark in such a way, that it was impossible to not wake him up, especially if she wanted to get up.

Her face was buried in his chest, his arms around her, one of her legs between his, the other one around his waist, one hand on his shoulders, the other one she couldn't even feel. She knew it must be under Mark's body and was worried that her hand had stayed way too long under him, since she felt nothing from her shoulder down and was not sure how to twist it so that she can free it. She was also half lying on one of Mark's legs and was sure that he would have problems with his limbs as well.

She moved a little bit, just to check if she could free herself without waking him up, but the grip they had on each other was a pretty strong one. Emma had to wake Mark up if she wanted her hand back. She looked up to his sleeping face and was not so sure if she should wake him up. He looked as if he had just fallen alseep. He indeed was restless the night before and while Emma invited him to talk, he decided that they needed sleep. Emma agreed and left him alone next to her, but she knew he had a lot on his mind he was not saying to her. Maybe he didn't want to worry her now that she looked more like her old self.

In the end the need of the feeling returning back to her hand won over the need to leave Mark sleep. She tried to push him off with her free hand, but the grip he had around her just got stronger. She tried harder, but Mark moved so that he was practiacally lying on top of her and holding her as if she was a pillow.

''I can't—breath!'' She exclaimed with a pitched voice. ''Mark!'

He shoved a little, but didn't wake up. She pushed harder until he woke up in total cofusion and los of orientation.

''What?'' He asked to no one in particular because he was not yet fully aware of the fact that he was suffocating Emma with his body.

''Move!'' She tried to shout and push him away. Mark was starteled as if he couldn't remember last night or where he was, or why Emma was with him and quickly moved away from Emma, who tried to return the feel of her arm back. She sat on her bed and started massaging her arm, but didn't know if she was doing anything, she couldn't feel it.

Suddenly there was a dull sound and Mark fell off the bed unconscious. Emma looked up only to see Julian holding a vase in his hands and expressionlessly staring at the body of his brother. Before she even got the time to react in any way, Julian was on top of her, hands on her neck, choking her.

''You think I will idly stand by and watch you have your fun while I am suffering?'' His grip around her neck thightened and he shook her head. He looked mad, out of himself, sick, insane. He looked everything she was afraid of, he looked exactly like what she was afraid of him becoming because of her and her actions.

''J-Juli-an!'' She manged to say his name even though in cost her a lot of breath and struggle. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, which were only fogging her vision and she could only make the silhouette of Julian, but not his face. Her hand was still asleep and she couldn't feel it, which caused her a bigger issue, since she was unable to use it. She tried to kick at him and loosen the grip his fingers had on her neck, but he was insanely strong.

''You will rot together with him!'' He spat viciously in her face, his tone taking a demonic change.

''Emma!''

She cried out what felt like her last air of breath and tried to get him off of her. She was sobbing now, unable to do a thing.

''Emma!''

She was coughing now, trying to breath in, fighting for her life, for breath.

''Wake up!''

She opened her eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air, which actually hurt her. Her face was wet from all the tears and sweat. It was not Julian standing over her, but Mark who looked conserned and scared. He sat her up, while she took a look around her surroundings. Mark moved all of her hair from her face which was stuck there from the sweat.

''Are you alright now? You know where you are?'' He asked her while trying to look into her eyes, which were scanning the room as if someone was going to jump out and hurt them.

''Emma!'' He shook her in order to get her attention. ''Are you listening?''

She looked at him slowly as if coming to her self and seeing him for the first time.

''Your head? Didn't Julian hit you?'' She asked at reached her hands behind his ears to the place where she thought Julian struck him with a vase.

''What? No! It was a nightmare, Emma! Nobody is hurt!''

After it took her a while to come to her senses she burst into tears. Just when she'd thought she had everything under control and was finally beginning to set her goals for the future, even if it meant hurting the only person she truly loved, everything came down collapsing with a loud thud.

Mark didn't know what to do anymore either. He thought she was fine now, but it turned out she could only get worse.

He left her room and came after a while with a cup of water. Emma wasn't crying anymore, but he could see in her eyes that something was dying inside her. He didn't know what, but she was changing. And that change he knew was not for the better.

''We need to go to them.'' She told him as she took the cup out of his hands.

''You mean the Faerie?''

''Yes.''

'Not in that state you are.''

''It's better to go now than later. I hate waiting for opportunities. Plus we don't know what will happen next.''

Mark sighed and ruffled his hair. Before he even got the chance to talk her out of it, her door opened and Dru came in. She stopped suddenly because she was surprised to see Mark in Emma's room, both of them in pyjamas in the very early morninng in her bed, but she was forced to remeber why she came here in the first place.

''It's the ocean.'' She told the both of them out of breath. ''There are the same creatures from last night.''

Mark stood up and looked out of the window.

''Wait, demons are night active.'' Emma told Dru and herself. She knew she didn't study it wrong, she just needed to remind herself that demons were indeed night active, they hated light.

''Well, not this kind obviously.'' She said.

''She's right, they are coming out of the waters again.'' Mark said and stepped back from the window.

Emma jumped out of bed and ran to her closet.

''Go get the others and get dressed, and call Diana or whoever, that ain't normal.''

Mark and Dru both went out to get ready and Emma put on her lighter gear on and tied her hair up before storming out of her room where she met with Julian in the hallway. He seemed like he hadn't gotten any sleep and also looked quite relieved as he saw Emma coming out of her room. The sudden meeting reminded Emma of her nightmare and she stepped back as if he were about to attack her. It was not intentional, it was a pure instinct and she hated herself for that. Julian noticed the strange behaviour, but let it go since there were more important things to deal with at the moment.

''The others are on their way.'' He told her and fell into step with her.

''OK. Let's go before the situation gets any worse.''

''It is worse already. I mean demons that are day active? That screams bad news all over the place.''

They got out of the Institute where Diego and Cristina were having a heated fight with some of the demons that had made it to the shore and joined them.

While the fight was going on Emma got a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye. It was someone, someone she knew good.

''Great.'' she muttered under her breath, trying to keep her concentration on the fight.

It was Cameron, who deffinetly hadn'd expected a morining fight with light-loving demons. Without questioning he jumped right into the fight and helped the others, all while trying to get closer to Emma.

''The hell is going on here?'' He shoutet over his shoulder so that Emma could hear him.

''Can't you see? It's our morning routine.''

''With demons?''

''We keep it real even while training.''

''Good to see that sarcasm of yours is still intact.''

''It'd better be.'' She told him. _Or I don't know how else I would deal with all the shitstorm that is happening here._

This time there were less demons than last night, so they finished with them sooner.

''So.'' Cameron said after the fight was over. ''Anyone bother to explain what is going on here?''

There was silence among the residents of the Institute since they didn't want things getting out and reaching the Clave yet, but with Cameron here it seemed impossible.

''That's a question we would like answered as well.'' Julian told him and headed back in the Institute. 

He's never liked Cameron and Emma knew that, plus he didn't bother to hide the dislike he felt towards him which made Julian being Julian. But when it came to Mark, when he couldn't hate his own brother, that's when Emma saw all the pain behind his blue eyes. So seeing him like that reminded her of older times, better times, time where they didn't know they loved each other so much and so passionately. Times where everything was kept safe and hidden and even though they longed for each other, it was better to never confess or know about the love the other felt.

''Could you make me a favour and not tell anyone what happened?'' Emma asked Cameron while the others were going inside.

''Emma!'' He said in disbelief. ''There wer dozens of demons, here on the shore at broad daylight! And you want me to keep that a secret?''

''Yes.''

''Everytime I come here, something out of control happens. Your crazy boyfriends inside and now the demons.''

''Hey!'' Emma shouted at him and looked rather insulted. Then she calmed down. ''Not all of them are my boyfriends.'' She winked at him and headed back in the Institute. ''If you have anything important to say, say it now. We have things to discuss and I don't have time for you.''

''Yeah, I've noticed.'' He turned around without saying another word and Emma let out a sigh. Boys were so hard to deal with.

After coming into the library, she noticed how everyone was standing up around the table in circle. When Emma came to the table she noticed what they were staring at. It was the golden whistle.

''So'' she said and looked around and met the worried faces of every single one of them. ''I guess we are blowing the whistle.''


	15. Chapter 15

Booooy thanks so much for the nice reviews you guys give to this story I appreciate it soooo much and it means so much to me, btw thank you Oliwia for the request and suggestion, don't worry girl I have something cooking for y'all and if you all Guest reviewers need to be notificated of the new uploads you can follow my tumblr account where I will upload a link to the chapter and you can also ask me questions there, give suggestions and request as to what you want to read next, also even though my account is muti-fandom you can still get your dose of Shadowhunters spoilers and news, snippets from the upcoming book and all memes that are being made about the TDA and every Shadowhunter book ever incase you are not following Cassandra Clare on her social media, but if you don't want to see any spoilers I recommend not to go to tumblr at all. Thank you all for reading this fiction and I hope you enjoy the next chapter. _ **You could also read the chapter sampler in my tumblr blog, I tell ya it's some good stuff.**_  
 **NOTICE: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE NEXT BOOK LORD OF SHADOWS** SINCE I HAVE USED SOME OF THE RELEASED SNIPPETS AND WROTE ON AS TO WHAT I IMMAGINE ON HAPPENING!

The moment Emma found her way to the library, she was greeted with the curiousity about Cameron's whereabouts to which she just answered with a quick lift of her shoulders as if she didn't care, which was the case. Julian seemed interested in the answer and obviously glad that Cameron was not with Emma right now since it was quite a private and secretive topic they were about to discuss. Emma did notice that before she came in, it looked liked Julian already had a fight with his siblings. Emma knew the reason right away. Even as she saw Livia approaching her she immedialtely she shook her head in her direction.

''Whatver Jules told you, you know I can't fight against.'' She told her before Livvy even got a chance to protest against her brother's orders. ''It's for the best and you would be protected.''

''How is that even fair?'' Livia asked and raised her hands in disbelieve. ''Why are you always taking his side and why do you assume that if we were to stay here, we'd be protected? Remember last time when we were invaded? What if the demons show up again? What are we doing about that.''

''I bet he even doesn't want me and Mark to come with him, but it's already hard to fight against that, plus I am his parabatai and I'd rather not get on his bad side and once again, we will leave you Diego.'' Emma winked at Livvy and she noticed the immidiate change in her.

''Really?'' Both she and Mark asked as he was entering the library dressed in a light shadowhunting gear. Both did sound happy about the idea.

''Not in a Thousands of years have I heard of a Centurion missing an opportunity like this one. So I am coming with you.'' Diego said from behind as he approached the table in the middle and put a few weapon belts on it and then started gearing himelf up.

''Do you seriously think that it is a good idea to go the fearies for help, all the while bringing a fearie-nazi guy with us, whose cards are still not on the table?'' Emma was about to lose her cool and she was also pretty ready to fight him if needed. Better him than Iarlath. At least she could bond with the one over a fight, but with the other it was all murder.

''Excuse me how did you just call me?'' Diego was straight up shocked and baffled and pretty much stopped with his activity so that he could face Emma.

''A Centurion, someone who is investigating on faerie business, someone who doesn't share a thing about what your job here actually is, all the while knowing what we are up to, do you really believe I trust you?''

''Do you really believe that I care if you trust me or not? I am doing my job, I am not going to harm anybody while there, but we are talking about the Unseelie Court here, Emma. We are talking about the nastiest of the nastiest, we are talking about the ones who took Mark away, tortured him, threatened all of you, hid imporatnt information from us, whipped you and allied with a warlock which killed your parents.''

Before Emma could even explode with rage over what Diego had just told her, Julian grabbed him by the collar, putting himself between him and Emma.

''Let's be careful about what we are talking around the kids okay.'' Julian told him as calmly as possible, making his voice a hissing whisper that was meant for Diego, but audiable to others as well. Emma stepped up worried that Julian would do something he would later regert. It was the first time for Emma and the rest to see him like that and this kind of Julian, this unknown behaviour scared her and the first thought that came to her mind was that is was her fault and it was the parabatai curse taking over him. She quickly moved between them and Julian let Diego go.

The others present in the room were speachless and weren't sure if they should say or do anything. Everyone was shocked to see Julian acting this way.

''Tiberius, Livia, Drussila and Octavian you are staying here with Diana.'' Julian told them, his back to everyone else while he was fixing one one of his sleeves, while facing the window of the library. Nobody protested. Nobody dared to make a sound.

''So I guess I am coming.'' Diego said after a while and Cristina just shot him a glare of disapproval for opening his mouth too soon.

''You are your own party, I just still question your staying at the Institute when eventually our sides will clash.'' Julian told him and turned around to face him. He seemd fine and calm and like he really meant it, but inside Emma's head all alarms were ringing and she was trying to put two and two together and make a logical explanation as to what set Julian off. Then it hit her. Before she even had the chance to get mad at Diego for mentioning the death of her parents, Julian had stepped in. This and the fact that he mentioned her getting whipped must have set him off. Emma let a sigh of relief and her shoulders relaxed. _It ws not the curse,_ she had to tell herself to calm down.

''So um …'' Cristina chimed in insecurely ''What about the whistle. Who has the honour?''

All of them looked at each other, checking if they were really going to do this.

''Nobody.'' Diana answered as she came in the libary. ''Gwyn is here.''

''Gwyn?'' The rest of them repeated.

They all left after Diana to see what was happening and why they were all getting so many visits from him lately. The only thing that was certain was the fact that this visit was bad news. When were vistis from faeries pleasant anyways?

Diana stood on the steps of the Institute, the kids behind her. Emma kept her eyes on Mark and Julian. She sure hoped it wasn't another whipping session since there were things Mark had told her about the Wild Hunt and she hoped they were not some big secret or anything else, because this time there was no way she would be able to knock Julian out and keep Mark and the rest at bay if somebody were to indeed get punished.

Gwyn came up to them on his horse and looked at them. He didn't seem happy, but than again his looks never gave off what he really was thinking. His look did linger a second too long on Emma as if he was trying to read her and this did not stayed unnoticed to Julian and Mark, who both stepped in front of her as if to hide her from Gwyn.

Mark even dared to stand next Diana and greet Gwyn in the way faeries greeted each other and talked to each other.

''I give you may fair greetings. I am glad to see you.'' Mark told him.

''I wish I could say the same.'' He told him voice unchanged. ''I bring dark news from the Unseelie Court.''

 _When did you ever bring light news anyways?_ Emma thought to herself and even though she looked calm and was ready to listen, she had to resist the urge to reach to her back and get Cortana out, so she clenched her hands into fists.

''What dark news? It could have not possibly be something about me. I have done nothing wrong.'' Mark said and Emma could see the tension in his body and hear it through his voice.

''Not you Blackthorn, but Kieran. He has killed a faerie and is about to face terrible consequences. I've come to ask for help as a fellow hunter from the Wild Hunt."

There was a long silence before they all could process what they were being told.

''How do you expect us to help one of the faeries that are responsible for the deaths of our own, the betrayal and the whipping of Emma Carstairs.'' Diana broke the silence with her authoratative voice.

''As far as I am concerned Kieran never dared to lay a hand on a Shadowhunter and was not involved in the murder of the Carstairs. He never wished to harm her or Mark in that way. He didn't know better.''

''Well he sure should have.'' Livvy mummbled under her breath audible enough for everyone to hear her.

''It is the truth though!'' Mark said over emotionaly in Kieran's defence. Emma knew how this affected him.

''Don't you have a moral obligation as Shadowhunters?'' Gwyn asked them.

''Not to the ones who bring suffering to the ones we love.'' Diana answered.

''Well I certainly can involve myself in faerie business since I am a Centurion and this is my job. To interfere and investigate.'' Diego said and Cristina nudged him with her elbow.

''Who and why did he kill anyways?'' Emma asked unable to control her curiosity any longer.

''Why he did what he did I still am trying to understand Carstairs girl, as to who it was Iarlarh he murdered.''

Emma felt her stomach turn and she couldn't place what she felt quite yet. Was she happy about the fact that one of the people who hurt her, was responsible for her parents' deaths, threatened the people around her and caused so many troubles for them was now dead, or was it more of a rage that she herself couldn't do the job? She couldn't place the feeling, but she knew what she wanted next and what needed to be done. She wanted answers. She needed answers.

''We must go.'' She said finally and looked straight up at Gwyn. ''I need to know why.''

The corners of Gwyn's mouth moved a little and than was the first facial change he had ever since he arrived at the Institute.

''I never imagined that so much rage and blood thirst was to find in you, Carstairs girl.''

''You'd be surprised. Are we going?'' She turned to the others around her. She knew Mark was burning with curiosity himself and wanted to go as much as she did. For different reasons of course, but still, the intention of going was strong.

''I am not really sure we should. If we get involved in more faerie business, only bad things will follow.'' Dina said not taking her eyes off Gwyn.

''We were about to go there anyway.'' Emma shrugged it off as if it meant nothing. ''Even better now, no need to use the whistle.''

Diana turned toward her and gave her a warning look. She was not happy with the point Emma was making because Emma was making a valid point.

''Well I am going since I am under no obligation to you,but to the Scholomance.'' Diego said.

''Fine. Go. Who am I to stop yu anyways?'' Diana said. ''And like Emma already said, you were headed there. I have other things to take care of.'' Diana said and returned to the Institute, but before than she told Livvy and the rest of them to come inside.

''Are you really sure she is a reliable tutor?'' Diego asked as he leaned in towards Emma and she nudged him as well.

''You seem all geared up. Let's go then.'' Gwyn said and startesd to lead them towards the beach. Julian stepped behind him and Cristina and Diego followed behind. Emma was about to take off herself when she noticed Mark's worried expression. She turned to him in order for him to snap back to reality. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly. He looked at her and seemed startled to see her.

''It will be fine.'' She told him still holding onto his hand.

''You don't know how his father is. He is cruel. He is cruel to his own sons. I've heard enough of stories from Kieran to make me revolt with disgust. And Kieran killed Iarlath! He was the right hand of the King! It is a serious crime Kieran committed. I don't think we will be able to save him.''

''We don't know untill we see.'' Emma reassured but Mark stayed the same. ''Plus, don't faeries love deals? We will think of something.''

Mark raised his eyes to Emma and she could see all the hurt and the pain in the there, but also the hope and gratefulness he felt towards her now. For what she was telling him, for how she was reassuring him.

''I also hate to admit it, but we have Perfect Diego with us and I am sure he will come in handy. We don't know much about his training or what he is capable of, but if he is one of the elite Shadowhunters, who specialize in Faeries then we need nothing to worry about.''

Emma reached out a hand towards Mark and put it gently on his cheek, her thumb caressing his cheekbone. He leaned into her touch just like Church sometimes does when he enjoys the way Emma is stroking him. He caught her hand in his and pressed it even harder on his face and stayed like that for a while before kissing her hand.

''It seems to me I have forgotten how to act when Julian is around. He mustn't believe I have feelings for another. I am sorry my fair one.'' He told her and kissed the top of her head. Emma seemed to get used to this gesture and felt herself beginning to like it more.

''It might get quite challenging in the Court since I am pretty sure the Faeries will take all our dirty shirts out, so let's try to keep our cool if things get out of hand.''

''Are you afraid they know more than us?''

''They alway mess with ones feelings and seem to know a lot more about what is going on in our hearts than we ourselves do.'' Emma told him as she remembered being told the story of Clary and Jace, who were forced to kiss each other in order to break free from the Seelie Court all the while believeing they were related by blood and were brother and sister. That story scared her since now she was going to the Unseelie Court. The worse half of the Courts. The place where it was believed the cruelest of the cruelest lived and did harm like no other Seelie Court Faerie could. She was afraid since her complicated relationships never made it easy for her and what she was more afraid of, was that they might know. She didn't want to get exposed. She must protect the parabatai bond between her and Julian at all costs.

Mark lifted up her chin and kissed her lips. She looked at him surprised.

''Your boyfriend happens to be a faerie, so I know how to handle. Don't worry and rely on me.'' He winked at her, took her hand in his and went after the others.

Emma smiled while they were walking together hand in hand, giving the impression of a happy couples with no worries. Even to Julian, who had turned around to check for Emma, believed their happy faces. Before he could witness something else he didn't want to see, he trurned around and tried to conceal his emotions.

Emma and Mark's hands on the other side stayed linked together untill they entered the Unseelie Court.


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks again to Oliwia and her greetings, I am happy that you are so fast with the reviews and the support you give me right after every chapter I upload and to marerei for encouraging me to write. I do read all reviews at least twice because knowing that you like what you read and that you are waiting for me is very very important and motivating. Have fun reading this chapter!  
PS.: I just ordered ''Notable Shadowhunters and Dezinens of the Downworld'' and it's here and I am going to pick it up after school I am so excited I am pissing myself right now! Order it now since it is limited edition!

The moment they walked in the temperature changed and the whole atmosphere gave off an eerie and unpleasant feeling. Even though they were not holding hands anymore, Emma could feel Mark tensing beside her. She didn't even want to imagine how hard it must have been for him to get out of the same place that treated him like garbage, only to come back again and seek help of the very same people that hurt him and Emma.

She looked around, but there was nothing much to see really. It was dark, cold and moist. She felt as if she was underground, but then again it was not suffocating ans the air seemed clean and fresh. The smell of earth and grass were all over the place and those were the sents she could smell from Mark. The wild, the adventurous, the things he talked about and saw in her and she didn't allow herself to give into them, just so that she could keep up with Julian. But the more time she spent with Mark, the more she wanted to do reckless things, to take more risks then she already did, to be wild and free and forget of all troubles.

Diego was looking around as if he was planning on buying the place, but Emma knew that his mind was running a research on the scene and he was analysing everything to the smallest detail. She felt like she had to keep her eye on him as well, since stabbing someone in the back was kinda the thing right now and she didn't even care if Cristina trusted him or not. She had trusted Malcolm. She had loved him even. And he had killed her parents. The person she relied onto so much, for so long, the killer of her parents was actually standing so close to her and the people she loved and cared about.

The sudden thoguht of him made her instantly boil with hatred and rage and she had to ball her hands into fists in order to keep herself from punching a whole into someone's head or actually taking Cortana out and going rogue.

Both Julian and Mark, as if they had heard her thought and felt her hatred turned to her and to seek eye contact, just so that they could check on her and make sure she was fine and was able to keep things unde control. She just nodded her head as a silent answer to them and relaxed her shoulders. After Julian was sure she was fine, he proceeded forward untill they come to a rather opened space, full of faeries. Something was happening. Something was about to happen.

It seems like the Fair Folk was awaiting for a show of some kind. There was a pavilion placed higher then the rest of the ground so that people could see and there was a throne in the middle of it. Beside the thorne, far to the left, there was a tree and someone was tied to that tree. Kieran.

Emma looked around and just now realised that they were not just some place, but where the King residet. The faeries present at the scene were also to be considered fo the higher ranks. They seemed different and gave off a snobbish feeling.

The groups stayed at the very end of the room, behind the faeries. There was a loud sound, a blast from a single horn, which caused for everyone to be quiet. Then a tall figure appeared beside the throne. Dressed in all white, horns sticking out from both sides of his head and a very black hair to contrast the whole outfit. The King had made his entrance.

Emma had to admit that he was insanely beautiful. He looked like a picture, a work of art, someyhing that was not supposed to exist, something out of this world. Kieran looked him and then turned his head away as if he was disgusted. And who could blame him. His father was about to kill him and as far as Emma was familiar with their relationship, based on what she heard from Mark, his father was one big manipulative asshole, who cared about nothing but himself and used his sons as pawns.

And then the King turned to the crowd and Emma could see it. His full face. One half more beautiful than anything Emma has ever seen, and the other one the exact opposite. An inhumane mask, grey skind and scars were decorating the left side of his face. Emma thought if this side of his face was an actual representation of his personality. Rotten, ugly, horrible, disgusting and scary.

Cristina gasped at the sight and Mark tried to look away. But it was impossible to look away at something that bizzare. At something so beautiful and horrible at the same time. It was mesmerazing in a weird way that made one look at the King.

''I see we have some uninvited guests.'' The King spoke looking in Gwyn's direction. To Emma's surprise his voice didn't sound bad. It was beautiful, but she was sure he was able to make some disturbing sounds as well. ''Do you dare to explain, Gwyn?''

The crowd turned their heads around to see the Shadowhunters standing behind them acompanied by Gwyn. Emma fought the urge to pull Cortana out. She did not like their looks.

''My King.'' Gwyn began with a respectful tone and bowed as greeting to the King. ''Please reconsider your decision. Kieran is one of the Wild Hunt. He rides with me. He belongs to the Hunt and me. Let me take him back. I will punish him accordingly.''

Emma grunted, but only Mark could hear her. She resisted the urge of rolling her eyes. There was a certain dosage of bullshit she could hear and deal with for a day and it looked like that dosage was about to reach its limit.

''Gwyn, let me remind you that he is one of mine, more then one of yours.'' The King replied . ''I am his father in the end. And he did something he should be punished for.''

''Death is not necessary.'' Gwyn talked back.

''It is for he killed one of my most valuable people.'' The King told him. ''And you dare to bring the Nephilim here?''

''It is our business to deal with injustice like this one.'' Diego spoke first.

''We have the Cold Peace. You have no business here.'' The King told him.

''Not since you broke it first and asked for our help.'' Julian spoke. He looked calm, but Emma could feel the tension around him.

''We also have other business to talk about. It is not just Kieran we are here for.'' Diego told him. ''Also the rules of the Cold Peace don't apply to a Centurion.'' Okay Emma had to admit that taking mister hot and sexy with them was a good idea and a good card to play in the end.

The King looked displeased with the situation, but seemed to think it through.

''Is it help that you seek from me?'' He asked and Emma coulnd't help but heae the mockery in his voice. ''Let's hear it then.''

The group moved to the front where they could stand close to the pavilion. They could see Kieran better from here as well as the King, but that sight was an unwated one.  
The King looked around and stopped his eyes on Emma.

''Ah!'' He exclaimed and Emma had to brace herself for whatever she was about to hear because she close to loosing the grip she had on herself. ''The Carstairs girl. What an honour.''

Emma couldn't say the same, but she tried to look and sound as reasonable as possible.

''I am flatterd by your words.'' She gave a small smile and hoped and it didn't look as mockingly as it felt on her face.

''I heard you are not as gifted in the arts as your ancestors, but elsewhere. Such a shame and a waste.''

Emma's lip twitched and her hands were fists again. Julian moved closer to her, but he still stood in front of her as if to hide her. But Emma knew he was blocking her from doing anything stupid. He of all people knew best how much she hated when her parents were alluded to.

''Well it is my job as a Shadowhunter to kill and fight those who don't play by the rules and cause trouble.'' She said calmly.

''And still you come here, to help someone who scarred your back. Admirable.'' He praised her. Emma was not sure if the next thing he said would be another well decorated insult or a fake compliment. She had to keep up with his pace and know when to deliver her insults back to him.

''It's not personal. I am doing my job.''

''But didn't you proudly declared that you would kill faeries and wet your fingers in their blood.?''

''Yes. And I would if I have to.'' Her reply was more sharp and the fake tone was gone now. Some of the faeries didn't look amused by what she had said. Julian seemed as if he wanted to turn around and hide her from everyone. He didn't know what she had told Iarlath that day when she got whipped instead of him. She had knocked him out.

''I didn't know the last of the Carstairs was so cruel and blood thirtsy. That is indeed amusing.'' He smiled and his face looked disturblingly scary since his face was split in two and every face half seemed different from the other. ''And what about you Mark? You came to save Kieran as well."

''We are not here to save him'' Julian said immediatly before his brother got the chance. Emma wished he hadn't done that and gotten all the attention to him.

''Ah, the parabatai, who couldn't keep his brother and other half safe.''

Emma immediately put a hand on Julian's shoulder as if to prevent him from jumping on the King. If there was somebody who wanted to do it more then him it was her and it better be her.

''Ooh, now. You didn't came here to fight did you?''

''Not if necessary.'' Diego filled in to Emma's surprise and she was thankful for that. She herself was shocked bu the fact that she actually tried to stop Julian, who actually didn't want to do anything reckless unlike her, but she felt like she needed to reassure him that it was fine andif she could keep herself in control, then so could he.

''I am curious Carstairs'' The King began and started pacing forward and then backwards on the pavilion, coming close to his tied son on the tree and then back to his thorne. The walk was indeed a classy one and he sure used it to show all parts of him and his white mesmerazing outfiut. ''Why would youeven think of saving someone, whose fault was your whipping? You do realise you could have almost died, do you not?''

''Kieran did not come to the Institute to whip Mark or any of us.'' Emma told him calmy and let Julian go. She feared her hand would start shaking anytime soon and Julian would misunderstand.

''But he indeed was keen on the idea of whipping you and your parabatai instead of Mark, wasn't he.''

Emma clenched her jaw and tried not to show any kind of emotion on her face. ''As long as it was me who got whipped then things are fine.''

The King laughed loud and his voice had something strange in it, Emma got the feeling that the ground started shaking. ''Oh I am glad you are to amuse me. It is rare for a Shadowhunter to do so. But I believe not everyone shares your opinion.''

''It is in the past. What has happened has happened.''

''Indeed, but I know you are a vengeful one. So why do you even consider the idea of saving someone like Kieran.''

''Because he killed the person I wished to cut open myself, feed to my fish and bathe in his blood.'' She said as cruely as possible without even trying. She has lost control of playing nice. The King's expression changed as he did not like her use of words. ''I've heard fairy blood comes in handy at time.'' She finished with a mocking smile.

Before the King could get mad Gwyn stepped up and begged for his forgivness, making her pain and the hardships she had to go through because of it as an excuse to the situation.

''So I am indeed mad at Kieran for taking that opportunity away from me.'' Emma interupted Gwyn, eyes glued on the King of the Unseelie Court. ''I would like to punish him myself.''

''Emma!'' Mark exclaimed in panic.

''You faeries like deals right? Let's make one right now.'' Emma ignored the protesting looks of the others and continued. ''Give us Kieran. He has things he has to pay for. Business he is not done with the Shadowhunters. He owes enough to be taken with us. And we as Shadohunters have the upper hand in this problem, so let's not go petty and take it all to the Clave and keep things nice and sweet just between us.''

There was a long pause and everyone was silent. The faeires around them didn't say anything since they came to realise they were in bad position as well. And the King was indeed considering the offer.

''You sure know how to make your way around here Caratairs. I believe the spent time Mark was of help.''

At the mention of Mark's name in relation to Emma, Julian tensed up and Emma suddenly became very aware of where they both were. Julian in front of her, almost covering her up and Mark right next to her, their sides touching. She knew it was her turnto be made fool of.

''I see a very interesting relationships you have there.'' He said while looking at Mark, who avoided his eyes. Emma didn't blame him, he was hard to look at. ''Or should I say relationships you have there, starting one when there is someone still longing for you, after not properly finishing another one-''

''That is not the current problem here is it?'' Julian interrupted him and Emma felt like they were gonna get exposed. She was going to get exposed and everything was going to get thrown in hell. She had to actually swallow in order to find her voice.

''Oh, if that isn't a heated reaction. That Ashdown boy seems to be very much interested in you and seems like he can'tlet you go.''

Emma sighed. ''Oh boy.''

''Who?'' Mark asked her kinda taken aback. She just shoock her head as if to tell him it was not important which it wasn't and it also wasn't the right place to talk about him right now. But Emma knew better. She was being played with, she was being toyed with. The King knew more then he gave credit and that thought scared her.

''We also came to ask a few questions. It seems to me like you know more about the demons that are day-active and the things that are currently happening.'' Diego began.

''Oh now you start to bore me. Why can't you be more amusing like your companions. They sure give me a good time.''

''Sadly we are no entertainers.'' Emma told him.

''Indeed. It is sad. Because I would have kept you three here and watched how you-''

''Annabel Blackthorn.'' Emma interrupted. ''What do you know about her and Malcolm.''

''What you know.''

''You know more, you always know more.''

''Well indeed we do young Nephilim. I've been around long ebough to see the rise and the fall of your kind and it amuses me to the core.''

''I am pretty sure the Clave amuses you as well. Wait till you've met the Scholomance.'' Diego told him.

''You sure know how to waste my time.'' The King told him and sat on his throne. ''I will give you a clue. You need to look for more ley lines.''

''You told Malcolm how to bring her to life.'' Emma told him accusingly and stepped forward. Not she was really mad and angry.

''That is all I did. Decades ago. Took him a while to figure it out.''

Emma felt her hand going up to Cortana, but this time Cristina stopped her. She herslef was mad, but Cristina had better self-control than anyone else in the room.

''Because of you, my parents were experimented on and an innocent child almost died. It's time to decide on which side you want to stand.'' Emma said through gritted teeth.

''You managed to do well protecting that innocent child, did you not? Using Cortana.'' His eyes lingered on the sword which was on Emma's back and then to her left hand. ''Interesting things we have here indeed. It looks to me balck magic is in the making inside your body.''

Emma froze. Did he know about the parabatai curse? Ws he going to expose her like this?

''Very well then.'' He said more to himself then the others and got up. ''The ley lines of Cornwall are of interest to you. You shall concentrate on them for now. The answers should follow. That is my help. I will even transport you there. You know the faerie lands have many exits leading to many different places.''

Emma was confused. A minute ago he seemed like he knew more about her feelings than she did herself and seem amused by the fact and now he was hekping them. Or at the very least making it seem like help. Emma knew there must be a catch in the whole deal somewhere. There always was a catch.

''You can even have Kieran.'' He told them to which all of them, faeires included exclaimed. All shocked. Some had came here to watch the deat of one of the Unseelie King's sons, but looks like this show was over before it even got the chance to start. ''I would like to see how things will go with him around Mark.''

 _Great, now he is testing the fakeness of our relationship._

''Of course, he shall not follow you to England, but Gwyn may take care of him in the mean time.''

Gwyn was visibly grateful for this turn of events and proceeded to help Kieran get untied from the tree he was bound to, for what seemed on his face, a long time. __

The King then sent them away, assigning them a faeire to lead the way out. As they turned around, one by one to go the King called to Emma for one last time.

''Be careful for your fate might turn into one of Annabel Lee.'' He told her and Emma gave him a questionable look.

''A tragic and forbidden love story.'' He then answered to her silent question. ''You don't want history repeating itself, do you? Look at that did to Malcolm. Look at what it could do to you.

Emma just smiled at him and turned around to join the others. She was not going to let any of this to happen. She was going ro change her heart if she had to.


	17. Chapter 17

The faerie world certainly had a lot of mistery and hidden wonders to it. From Los Angeles to England in a few minutes, without having to experience the dizzy feeling that came with being portaled, was something that was in favour of Emma and the others. And even if you were a trained Shadowhunter and could manage that much, the idea of feeling weightless for a moment and feeling the ground being pulled from under your feet was not an attractive sensation to any Shadowhunter, because you felt helpless and let's be honest, no Shadowhunter was familiar with levitating and flying. But with the endless faerie lands and the easy way to travel, this made it a lot more comfortable for Emma. How they were going to get back was another question, now she needed to concentrate on her current search for the ley lines and a potential body of Annabel Lee, Malcolm was also an option.

After the faerie, that had led them out, went back to where it belonged, the group of Shadowhunters were left alone on the shore of a very empty and stony beach. It was England, Emma had to remind herself, the weather always sucked and the people rarely set foot in the cold and wild waters. For her though it didn't matter if the weather was fine or not, either way she would not go into the water unless she was forced to or had to. Some fears stayed with a person no matter what.

''Is this Cornwall?'' She asked as she spun around and looked at the scenery. The wind was very strong and she had to shout so that the other could hear her. Her hair was flying in all directions, to the point where it came loose of its braid and Emma had to fight against the winds and the hair in her face, eyes and mouth.

''I guess it is. It is pretty deserted.'' Diego shared his thoughts doing circles, taking the sceneary in until he noticed Emma's desperate fight with her wild blonde locks. He laughed, but thanks to him Emma didn't hear or saw him. She couldn't.

''It's not.'' Julian informed. ''It's Sussex. We're pretty close to aunt Marjorie.''

''She is still among the living indeed?'' Mark asked honestly intrigued by the fact, but the way of his asking the question came more than funny to Emma and Cristina both, who had to giggle.

''Yes.'' Julian answered him and ignored the laughter that Cristina and Emma were trying to hide. Mark was amusing and his innocent and child-like behavior made the girls laugh more than once. Something that made Julian jealous. ''Yes she is. And if we're not in Cornwall, my best guess is to visit her and get more information and possibly a ride.''

''She drives!?'' Emma and Cristina exclaimed to which Julian just shook his head no. He probably meant somebody else or untypical for him, a potential stealing of a car. He went ahead of them and the others followed. He was the only one who knew the way in the end.

Emma was leading quite the fight with her hair on the way, because her hair tie snapped and she was forced to hold her hair with one hand and tuck it in her jacket so that it wouldn't come free again.

Mark came to her aid and offered his help. He took her hair out and started braiding it.

''I didn't know you could do this.'' She said after coming to a stop and letting Mark do his thing.

''I used to tie a lot of ropes back in the Faerie.'' He told her while his fingers were selecting strands of hair, tying them together.

''Are you comparing my hair to a rope?'' Emma snapped and turned her head around to look at him.

He laughed and gently turned her head forward. ''I did a lot of detailed work, the finest of threads, tied in together making a rope, a stronger thread.'' He explained. ''You must have noticed the way ropes are. The way threads intertwine with one another, the complicated directions and how they come together.''

His fingers were so calming on Emma's scalp that she wasn't really paying a very big attention to what he was saying. She enjoyed the short pleasure that came with his gentle touch, but he was soon done braiding her hair. He turned her around so that he could take a look at his work. Her eyes were closed, but she opened them when she was turned around.

''Do you like what you see?'' Emma asked him while he was looking at her hair and making some adjustments to the braid. His eyes fell on hers and they stared at each other.

''I do.'' He told her, one of his hands on her cheek. His eyes focused on her lips.

''Are you two love birds done?'' Diego shouted from behind Mark. Emma was startled and gave off an unhappy sigh.

''I am going to kill him.'' She mummbled under her breath and Mark laughed.

''Make sure it's not today.'' He told her and both of them joined the rest of the group.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma couldn't remember ever meeting aunt Marjorie, but she thought of her as a very, very saggy old lady with a high pitched voice. Well now that she was standing in front of her she hadn't expected her to be so tiny and bony and well .. indeed saggy. Her eyesight must have been bad since it took her a while to recognize her nephews. Seeing Mark proved to be a hard task since she couldn't believe her eyes and was more than convinced that she was going mad and that her time had indeed come. It took a while to calm her down.

Diego and Cristina had made a good decision of looking around and getting more intel about the ley lines, who might have a connection to their case. Diego had told them that he could get in conntact with someone from the Scholomance and Cristina had decided to follow him. Julian was fine with the idea since too many unknown people and too much explanation to do in front of aunt Marjorie was not one of the many things on their ''to-do list''.

Emma was stuck between Mark and Julian, both metaphorically and literally. She was more than sure that this was the very first time that the three of them were together like this after the events of Emma and Mark getting together.

''Helen? Is that Helen as well?'' The old Shadowhunter asked and pointed her finger at the girl in front of her, eye squeezed into a thin line.

''No auntie, it's Emma. Emma Carstairs. My parabatai.'' Julian introduced.

''Oh my! Oh look at how pretty she has grown! Such a shame that a pretty girl like that has to fight demons and who knows what else.''

Emma gave an awkward smile and thanked her for the compliments. She now could see where Dru's problem could lie with her aunt. She seemed to like pretty girls and favor them over others which irked Emma to whole new levels, because Dru was pretty. No matter how she looked she was pretty, not to mention she was in puberty and it didn't matter if you were a Shadowhunter in training, hearing stuff like that could make one very insecure about themselves.

''Well I guess you must all be tired, let me show you to your rooms first and then you can do your job.'' She started leading the way upstairs to show Emma her room. Julian didn't even try to stop his aunt, who was practically dragging Emma upstairs, because he knew it was pointless.

''Aunt Marjorie I think we will need a ride to get to the Institute.'' Julian told her before she could leave the room with Emma.

''Let your parabatai take a break now would you? And there is a lot of catching up I need to do with Mark! I am not sure it is a good plan to have a faerie in the family though.''

Emma just raised her shoulders in a way that kind of was accepting the idea of taking a break, but Julian knew it was so that his aunt would give them all privacy and go on with their plans. He did noticed the way she jerked at the mention of Mark being a faerie. He also felt it. The need to protect him and keep him safe was strong in both of them.

Marjorie took Emma to an old, tiny dusty room and she could tell that none of the Blackthorn kids had stayed there during their summer break since this place needed a serious cleaning. Mark was with them, but Marjorie wanted to talk to him and was not very keen on leaving the two of them alone. Emma just made it obvious to Mark that she will be breaking out of the room the moment she got the chance to.

While Marjorie was sweet talking Mark, Julian started his own research and search of a ride or a possible warlock to portal them back. Diego had contacted him and said that now might not be the best idea to go the Institute since this would spark the interest of the Clave and Julian thought that all could be a possiblr trap from the faeries and his family in LA was in danger.

Emma looked around the room long enough to find noting interesting and to try and jump out of the window, only to find it sealed for eternity because it was that old and unused. The only thing that got her attention was the dusty bottle of glass with clean liquid in it. She looked around and after making a short pro and con list in her head, she decided to take the bottle with her, hiding it in one of her inner pockets of her jacket.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

''No, we are not getting Magnus, this will cause more trouble!'' Julian was talking on his phone while pacing up and down. Mark came down the stairs with his aunt beside him and looked at him questionably. Julian just shook his head in an answer, but after looking around as if he was searching for something and looked back at Mark, Mark just pointed a finger upward indicating the upper floor of the house.

''She is in one of the rooms.'' He answered the unspoken question of Julian and smiled. Julian juat nodded and concentrated on the conversation he was having on the phone.

''Ok, Crisitna and Diego know a warlock from around. We are going back to LA.'' Julian told Mark after finishing the call.

''Why home? I thought we'd be going to the Institute here?''

''Bad idea to do that now and I have a bad feeling and this might be a trap, so I'd rather go home fast and check on the others. Go get Emma and let's go.''

''Is that warlock coming again? He sure startled me last time.'' Marjorie said.

''No he isn't. Aunt Marjorie don't tell anyone we were here okay. It is kinda of a surprise we are preparing for a fellow friend so it would be better to keep it a secret.''

''What surprise?'' 

''Well it wouldn't be a surprise if you knew.'' He told her a smiled awkwardly.

''Emma is not here.'' Mark said comining down the stairs. ''I checked all rooms.''

''She mus have left ahead of us.'' Julian tried not to panic. ''Let's check the outside and go to Cristina and Diego.''

After saying their goodbyes and reassuring their aunt that everything was fine and there was no need to worry, they left and headed towards the beach where they were going to meet with the others. Julian texted Emma to tell her about their plans and hoped she would cooperate faster than usual and there would be no problems.

But a problem did arouse since she was nowhere to be seen at the given adress.

''The warlock will be here any minute. You know how they could be when it comes to their wasted time and the amount of money they could get out of one if we make him wait a lot.'' Diego told Julian as if he didn't already know.

''They are immortal, why would they worry about their wasted time?'' Mark asked.

''If I were a Downworlder right now with the Cold Peace and all going on, I would also question the longevity of my immortality.'' Cristina told him.

''Isn't that her down the beach?'' Diego asked and pointed to a figure at the far end of the beach. It could only be Emma, Julian thought, he would recognize the color of her hair anywhere from any distance.

Mark was already making his way to her and Julian thought the better of it and let him be the one to take her back to them, he tried not to stare too much in their general direction, so that it wouldn't cause any topic to talk about with Cristina and Diego. The three of them just waited patiently for Mark to get Emma, who seemed way too relaxed on the beach, but nobody could blame her after all that they've been through. Julian did though, feel like he was third-wheeling Cristina and Diego which caused another type of awkwardness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

''Emma!'' Mark shouted to her and she turned to look at him. She was confused at first as if she couldn't recognize him. ''We have to go, the others are waiting.''

She still had her eyes squeezed into tiny lines as he approached her and there was a certain distrust in the way she looked at him as if she couldn't really place who he was or where she knew him from.

''Oh!'' She exclaimed in a surprise and pointed her finger at Mark in a childish-like gesture. ''It's the fearie guy!'' She said and flashed a big smile.

Mark smiled at her as well and streched a hand towards her so that he would help get her on her feet. Emma accpeted his hand gratefully and stood up. The moment she was on her feet a sound of glass breaking on the stones on the beach startled them both and Emma jumped. It was the dusty bottle she had found in the old wooden chest in aunt Marjorie's house.

''Such a shame! It was such a beautiful bottle!'' Emma said and bend down to pick up the glasses, but she tipped over and fell down, hand coming down on the shards of broken glass, cutting herself.

Mark was genuinely surprised by the clumsiness which Emma displayed and didn't know how to react at first, but after noticing her lack of proper reaction and bleeding hand he turned her face to him and looked her in the eyes. Her pupils were dilated and she felt a bit hot under his touch. Her cheeks were red and her forehead sweaty. She was breathing a bit heavily and her eyes couldn't focus on his. She laughed.

''Emma what did you do?'' He asked with concern still holding her face between his hands, trying to get her eyes to look a him.

''I can't even get drunk!'' She told him sad from the news. ''My metabolism is so damn good and fast that I can't even get drunk!''

He looked at her in confusion and then back at the broken bottle and back at her again.

Oh boy … she was actually drunk.

''I think you pretty much are drunk. What did you have?'' He asked her while taking pieces of broken glass out of her palm and drawing an iratze over her wrist.

''Potato juice.'' She told him while rocking herself forwards and backwards.

''What?''

''Oh wait no, that is not made of potatoes it's made from corn … so uhm .. corn juice I think?''

''Emma why would you do something like this? Why would you even-'' He brokeoff and ruffled his hair in confusion and loss of what to do next. He looked at Juian's direction in the distance and hoped to catch his attention because he seemed to be the only one who could deal with Emma right now. He certainly felt helpless and at fault in a way. Maybe the feeling of responsibilty that came with being the oldest one in the group started to return back to him with every senseless thing Emma did.

''Because I wanted to experience that loss of memory every drunk person does, but the only loss I am experiencing right now is the loss of good body coordination and lack of control over my body and movements.'' She sounded quite lucid and like herself for a moment and even a tear made it's way down her cheek. Mark knew she was having problems, but he couldn't believe she would do something so out of character. Her expression changed again and she looked confused and tilted her head as if she was thinking about something important.

''What?'' Mark asked and placed one hand on the side of her face, cupping it gently. ''Is something wrong?''

''Did I just say the same thing in three different ways?'' She asked him and burst out laughing laying down on the beach all the while laughing loud. Mark didn't know what to do , but to try and pull her back up.

Their faces were inches apart now and she was looking him in the eyes. 

''Talk faerie to me.'' She told him.

''What?!''

Before he could do anything else, Emma caught him by his ears.

''They are so soft and pointy!'' She exclaimed like a little excited child while playing with Mark's ears. ''So cute!''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

''What the hell are those two doing and why are they so lovey-dovey right now?'' Diego asked as he catched on the view unfolding in front of his eyes. Julian turned immediately and what he saw felt like a punch in the gut. Emma and Mark close to each other, on top of each other on the beach, Emma clinging onto Mark's neck and him either struggling to get her on her feet or maybe off his neck. It was a confusing view.

Julian saw his brother waving at him and wondered if this was a pure mockery before realising that something was wrong.

''I think he needs us.'' Cristina said.

''Let's check things out. Our warlock is also coming from their direction.'' Diego told them and headed down the hill towards the beach to Emma and Mark.

''What is going on?'' Cristina asked as she approached them.

''We have a tiny problem.'' Mark told her all the while trying to get Emma off his neck, who seemed obsessed with his ears and was trying to bite them while trying to climb Mark's back. ''Emma claimes to have been drinking corn juice.''

''What?" All of them asked.

''I don't know myself, she described it like that. I don't know what corn juice is. I don't think the faeries gave her anything, but according to her behavior I'd say she indeed is under the influence of something unearthly and strong.''

Julian looked at the broken glass on the beach, took a piece and examined it. He sniffled the glass while the others were waiting for the news. He let out a deep sigh and looked at Emma. It was a look of disappointment and hurt.

''It's moonshine.'' He told them.

''Ohh.'' Cristina exclaimed. ''I've heard that is pretty strong.''

''You've done more than just hearing about it, you've actually drank it!'' Diego told her. She nudged him with her elbow.

''Now is not the moment for that! We need to portal back home and sober Emma up.'' Cristina defended herself.

''Right on time.'' Diego said as he saw the warlock approaching them. He went to him to make the payment and gave him instruction to where to portal them. Mark was holding onto Emma and didn't let her go because he was afraid she might run off or just do something stupid. Julian just kept his eyes on her before they were back in LA where it was sunny, hot and felt like home. They were at the entrance of the Institute where the rest of the Blackthorns and Kit awaited them.

''You came back quite fast.'' Livvy told them. ''How was the faerie land?''

''It was fine.'' Cristina said.

''What's wrong with Emma?'' Dru asked. Emma had her head buried in Mark's shoulder, covering her face, Mark holding her by the waist so that she wouldn't fall down.

''Long story, we had an interesting encounter at aunt Marjorie's.'' Diego told her.

''You visited aunt Marjorie?'' Dru asked surprised. At the mention of her name Emma jerked back and looked around.

''Oh right! Where is that old bat anyways?'' She asked as she looked around. ''She has a lot to say about pretty girls, but she sure doesn't know that all girls are pretty so she dares to insult my precious Dru!'' Emma walked clumsily around the other searching for Marjorie.

Julian covered his face with his right hand while the others stared in shock expecting some sort of explanation, Diego looked at Emma in amusment. Julian suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, he saw Emma's unfocused eyes.

''You don't need to worry.'' She told him while actually supporting herself on him with both of her hands on his shoulders. ''I will take care of the girls. Just leave them to me and away from Marjorie and everything will be fine. I will take some of the burden off your shoulders.''

Julian was giving his best not to touch Emma in any way, because he was afraid of what he was going to do next. He was most likely to drag her back to his room, before she could say more. So he stood there, staring at her, hoping that she wouldn't say anything which would worry the others or expose his little secret.

''Oi Herondale kid.'' She suddenly turned to Kit who deffinetly was scared, but amused at the same time. ''You better behave because we can't adpot too many kids, okay? Julian can't be father to all, so if you have to rely on anyone, come to me just like when you called be back then when those demons attacked you. Because Julian has a lot on his hands he is ru-''

Before she could finish Mark had his hand over her mouth and was pulling Emma backwards to the staircase, which lead to the rooms where he was planing on takig her.

''Okay, the show is over, I will take care of her so you don't worry.'' He told the others as he was pulling Emma away from the others, walking bakwards.

''No, I am not finished yet.'' Emma told him breaking free form his grip.

''Yes you are.'' He put her over his shoulder and carried her upstrairs like a sack of potatoes, while she was talking incoherently. The others could only hear her drunken exclamations and screams and something about being on the ''faerie coaster''.

''What was that about? What did you do to her? Did she had faerie food?'' Livvy asked.

''Worse.'' Diego told her while laughing and shaking his head. ''She had one of the goods made by our worse half.''

''Worse half? Who? What.'' Dru asked.

''Mundanes.'' He told her. ''A mundane made substance, not faerie.'' He told her and laughed. Cristina gave him a side eyes before rolling her eyes and going to the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark dropped Emma on the bed while she giggled and rolled around. It was dangerous to leave her alone like that because she was capable of anything. She was capable of anything while being sober, but now it seemed like she was allowig herself way more freedom than usual. She was letting the storm call out to her. She had that kind of look. The one she always had but always hid away. She was calling to the storm now.

The only solution was to stay with her and make sure she wouldn't hurt herself any further or cause more trouble for the others and worry them. She got on her knees and spread her arms wide open. Mark came closer to her and she huged him. He pulled back but she still was holding onto his jacket and pulled him onto her bed so that now he as well was on his knees, bodies smashed together against each other.

She was still shorter than him so she placed her hands on the back of his head and tilted it until his lips reached hers and kissed him. Mark kissed her back, but after rethinking the state Emma was in and the whole situation he thought the better of it and tried to pull away, but she was biting on his lower lip making his escpae painful and impossible.

''Emma.'' He told her while she was pulling on his lower lips. ''You are going to regret this.''

Emma just laughed at his remark and deepened the kiss, while her hands were going up and down his back and back again in his hair. Mark smirked and pulled her closer to him, his hands on her lower back. He kissed her back and took of his jacket and helped Emma out of hers. He took their weapon belts off and pushed Emma back on the bed, lying on top of her, between her legs, caressing her back and sides with his hands while she encaged his body with her legs and arms.

He pulled back and looked at her. Her lips were swollen from the kiss, eyes glassy but focused.

''I told you, you would regret it.'' He told her and before Emma could defend herself he started tickling her. She started laughing and screaming because of the sensation and couldn't even escape from his grip, because while she thought her legs around his waist were a advantage to her, they also turned to be a disadvanage because she know couldn't get away from him and couldn't even kick him properly.

''Stop!'' She managed to say through laughther and screams. ''Mark stop I'm ticklish!''

Mark was laughing as hard as she was and was enjoying teasing her like that. Her laughter was also something he hadn't heard ever since they were kids and this was something he had missed. The good, carefree times where they were simply training to become good Shadowhunters and enjoying peaceful lives. Emma tried to hit him and roll from underneath him, but he had the upper hand and had her pinned underneath him.

Their laughter and screams were so loud that they were audible in the hallway, where Julian was on his way to Emma's room to make sure she was okay. The moment he heard their voices he turned around before he got the chance to lose control of himself and decided to break her door down and make things worse for all of them.

Mark stopped tickling Emma and looked at her. She was trying to catch her breath and was still laughing. Her chest was raising up and down and the fact that Mark was on top of her made it harder for her to escape and cath her breath properly.

''What?'' She asked while his look only got more mysterious as time passed by. Emma felt a sharp and stinging sensation to her skin and realized a little too late that Mark had put a rune on her. She looked at her hand and saw it was a sleeping rune.

''Why would you do that?'' She asked annoyed.

''You need sleep and we should continue with this when you are sober.'' He told her and removed a strand of hair from her face. He came down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

''I wouldn't have regreted it.'' She told him letting a deep breath out and shaking her head as if to confirm her answer. He laughed.

''That's the moonshine speaking.''

Emma rolled her eyes as she felt the rune taking effect and she felt her body calming down and relaxing untill she was slowly pulled into a deep sleep. Mark stayed over her a little longer, watching her calm, sleeping face, caressing it for a bit longer, before getting off the bed and tucking her in.


	18. Chapter 18

Sorry for dying on you like that, but I had some real important things to take care of and yeah... I hope you like this chapter and if you want more things like that or less or whatver, just make sure to tell so I know. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

By the time Emma woke up it was already dark outside. She could tell that the sun had just set, leaving the very last of warm traces up in the sky. She knew she had messed up her sleeping schedule, her head also hurt a bit and she was craving water and food. A lot of it.

Mark was curled up beside her with a book. He looked at her for a minute then returned back to reading. He pointed with his finger towards her night stand. A bottle of water and cookies. Emma attacked them immediately.

''How long was I asleep?'' She asked with her mouth full.

''Long enough to not make any mistakes or things we would later regret.'' He told her eyes still on his book. Was he mad at her? For what she did? For what she attempted and how she acted? She swallowed a little too fast eager to answear and she choked. Mark sat up on his knees and patted her on the back. While he was doing it Emma fought her way for words. ''I wouldn't have regretted it.'' She told him as she swallowed the last bit of the cookies. Never take more than two at once, she noted to herself.

Mark looked a bit bewildered. ''Wait, you remember? Aren't you supposed to forget?''

Emma laughed. ''I wish I could forget some things like this, but no. I do remember everything. And I wouldn't have regretted it.'' She told him again looking him in the eyes. This time Mark swallowed as if he had stuffed his face with cookies. His eyes moved to her lips. They parted and Mark leaned in for a kiss.

Instantly Emma wraped her hands on his neck and kissed him back. This was also hunger. This was also need that they had for each other for way too long. Emma came to realise that it wans't just physical, her heart, hear soul ached for it too. For this feeling she couldn't name or tame.

Mark was already moving her the way he wanted her to be. He was pinnig her down. Emma didn't like the position, so she changed it with one swift and quick maneuver. She was sitting on top of him, on his lower stomach, her hand pinning him down by the shoulders. They looked at each other for a while.

They both had this crazy, wild and hungry look in their eyes. Nothing seemed to be stopping them now. Emma leaned very slowly towards him, teasing him with her slow pace. She kissed his lips slowly. Mark wanted more, but Emma pulled back. She moved slightly against him and kissed his cheek, then his eyes, forehead and neck. Mark got the message: he must stay quiet and let Emma do this, wait for his turn, if he could even get it. He put his hands in her hair and moved them to her back. Emma was still gently kissing every angle and inch of his face and neck.

She then stopped once again and looked at him. Then slowly, with half closed eyes, she kissed his lips shortly once, then twice and then gently licked his bottom lip. Mark tried to deepen the kiss, but she pulled back again. She was studying him and building the tension between them. It was hard to stay still, it was hard for both of them given they were always so frantic and in a hurry about it. They were barely gentle. This was a test for both of them.

Emma let a finger trace the lines on Mark's chest. She leaned in again and slowly kissed him. With every breath the kiss got deeper, hotter, faster. Emma was moving against Mark without realising it. There goes the control, she had tried to establish between them. Mark had a hard time not responding the way he wanted to and he soon switched positions with Emma. Now she was underneath him, eyes glazy, red cheeks and heavy panting. Her lips were red and wet from the kissing. He tried to kiss her slowly just like she had done in the beginning. He then traced kissed on her neck, to her ear and back down to her throat, to the place where her t-shirt was restricting him reaching further, kissing more skin. He looked to her. Was this the part where they take their clothes off? He took Emma's shirt at the seams in lifted it a bit. Emma arched her back so that he could slip the material above her back and then her neck and head. He threw it on the ground and looked at Emma. She was in her sports bra. He wondered if he should take it off too, but decided it was too soon.

He kissed her shoulders, gently biting her collar bones. Emma's hands dug deeper into his shirt and a little moan escaped her mouth. Mark slammed his body onto hers almost compulsively. It was his body that was guiding him now, he seemed to have lost control. He kissed the skin below her collar bones, kissed very exposed spot that was not covered from her bra. When he reached the seams of her pants Emma giggled a little. He smiled as he traced gentle kisses around her belly button. Her fingers were in his hair, moving uncontrolably, pushing and pulling him.

Soon her pants were on the floor as well. He took his own t-shirt off and Emma used the oportunity to sit up. He was surprised to see her up close. He hadn't felt her move up while he was taking his shirt off. She took his face in her hands carefully and looked at him. She then kissed his lips and went down to his throat and ear. Mark placed his hands on her sides. Her skin was hot. He adjusted them so that Emma was sitting on his lap while she was kissing every inch of his skin she could reach. Mark started to fumble around with the bra clasp. Her hair was getting in the way and he was having hard time concentrating because of her kisses and the way she moved her body on top of his. He was getting more impatient with the minute and the distraction was uneeded.

''Do you need help?'' Emma broke the kiss. She was panting, her eyes were glazy and black, lips wet and swollen, cheeks flushed. Mark hadn't exprected to have this type of reaction when he saw her face like this. He was mesmerized and felt hot all over. His hand which was still on the clasp suddnely made the right move and her bra came undone. Emma smiled. ''Guess not.''

Before she could kiss him again he pushed her back and pinned her hands next to her head with his. He removed the bra with his teeth and took a minute to savour the view. He then placed gentle kisses on her chest, wittingly avoiding the most sensitive areas. Emma's back arch forward and she tried to move her hands, but his grip was strong and didn't seem to let her go any time soon. Mark felt she was getting impatient herself, she tried to move underneath him or to free her hands, but Mark enjoyed having her pinned like that for a while. It is not an opportinity that comes easily, or ever. It was Emma he was talking about. It must have been annoying for her when she didn't have control, but he could tell she was enjoying herself as well. Mark was between her legs, hers were like a cage on his waist, pulling him tightly, squeezing him hard with every kiss he placed on her bare, soft chest. She was moving against him, making up for her restricted hands which he desperately needed to use. Mark had hoped for more control over her with her hands pinned down, but her body against his was driving him crazy, he was sure she was not in control of her own body by now. Her heavy panting and soft moans were making things even hotter for both of them. He needed to touch more of her so he let go of her hands. He started exploring every inch of her body, of her chest, stomach and hips. Every curve, every muscle. Her hands and nails dug into his back and hair, pulling him closer to her.

She wanted to kiss him, but he was on his own quest to know her body, kissing every part he hadn't still kissed. While he was doing that he also freed himself from the rough material of the jeans he had worn this day. Emma used this opportunity to be on top of him once again. It was her turn to pin his hands down and tease him with kisses.

Their skin touching was an electrifying feeling. They both hadn't thought they would feel this type of attraction, need and hunger for each other.

''M-mark!'' Emma moaned in an unrecognisable to her and Mark ever voice. He was touching and kissing her in all the right places. She was burning inside and out and yet felt as if ice was touching her from time to time. She was shaking. If Mark had not know any better he would have thought she was having a seizure. But she was just enjoying herself and the feeling he brought to her. Emma looked so different from what he knew her, she look so beautiful and foreign and wild and seductive. He felt it in his heart, he was mesmerized by her.

They stayed like that for a while, staring into each other's eyes. Soon they were freed of all clothes and surprisingly to them they took things slow. It was not like the last couple of times where they were at each other's necks, trying to dominate over the other, hungrily trying to steal a kiss or more, to feel more, to touch more. No this time they were gentle and slow, but passionate. Enjoying every minute, every second, every kiss, every touch.

They had lost track of time, but this didn't matter to them at all. They were too busy to study each other's bodies and needs. And it went like that untill sunrise.

-

When Emma opened her eyes, she saw the sun, up high in the sky shining through the window into her room. She felt warm and a little worn out. But she wasn't warm because of the sun. She was curled up against Mark's naked body in a tight hug. He had both arms around her naked back and a leg over her hips. Her hands were on his bare chest, his chin on top of her head. She couldn't move. She didn't want to either.

She kissed him on his bare chest and heard him moan something. He then moved so that he could see her, putting a little distance between them.

''Good morning?'' He said. Emma laughed. She also doubted it was morning. More like a late afternon.

''We messed up our sleeping schedule.'' She replied.

''It is your fault. You shouldn't have gotten drunk.''

''Ha? Excuse me who needed prove if I regert things in the morning!?''

''Do you?'' He asked a bit concerned.

Emma looked up at him in fear of him regreting everything that has happened. ''Not a second of it.'' She told him. His hands moved to her hair and then to her cheeks. He kissed her gently on the forehead and then her lips. She then felt his finger tips on her bare chest and she trembled under the touch. He felt her sharp exhale of breath under his own lips and smiled.

There was a knock on the door and both of them froze. Mark covered them good with the sheets, when the door opened. Emma had her back to the door she didn't know who it was, but she felt mortified nonetheless. She had her fists against Marks bare chest and could tell by his heart beating that she was not the only nervous one.

''I was getting worried.'' A familiar voice said. ''It's been a day and both of you haven't come out yet so I came to check.''

It was Dru. Emma let out a breath of relief.

''Just woke her up. I think she will need a lot of water and food.'' Mark told his sister. ''We will be up in a second.''

''Okay, I will tell the others.'' With that Dru left the room.

There were a few seconds of awkward silence between them, but then they started laughing.

''By the Angel!'' Mark exclaimed. He ran his fingers through his hair. ''The door was unlocked all this time?!''

''I was drunk, don't blame it on me to think about those things. Plus we never thought of that outcome.''

''Yeah … we better get up.'' He stood up and proceeded to put his clothes on.

''Emma curled up in her sheets and looked at him. ''I like what I am seeing.''

Mark had just put his jeans on and gave her a grin. ''Likewise.'' He winked. 


	19. Chapter 19

When Emma went to the kitchen, she wasn't surprised to see everyone gathered there. Or the fact that they were staring at her. After all, it is not common for one to get drunk and almost expose all the secrets that are not supposed to be exposed. Ever.

''Well, well, well, look who we have here. All fresh out of the bed after knocking themselves out.'' Diego gave her devilish smile.

''The next thing I will be knocking out will be that head of yours against the counter.'' She said grumpily and glared at him. Cristina shook her head and braced herself for the verbal confrontation that was to come.

''Not sober yet? A headache? I thought Mark stayed with you all this time and never left your side. I guess he didn't pamper you properly.''

''Is that personal experience you are talking about?''

''Okay, okay! By the Angel you two are impossible!'' Cristina got up from her chair and stood between them.

''It would have been better if I could have witnessed the mess you have made of yourself, Carstairs.'' A familiar voice said from the corner of the room. It was Kieran. Emma's eyes almost popped out of her sockets.

''What on earth is he doing here?''

''Gwyn brought him here. It would be safer for him here than the Hunt or anywhere else.''

''Great he now has Shadowhunter bodyguards. Must be nice to be a prince.''

''Not when your father is the King and you have other dozens of siblings trying to murder you.''

''Fair enough.''

Julian was on the phone the whole time and it was now that he finished his conversation and joined the others. ''Jace and Clary are coming.''

''Why?'' Emma asked. Not that she was unhappy, but if the two of them were coming on official Clave business it never meant good. Not they were bad or anything, she was glad it was them that were coming over. They had their fair share of ill experience with the Clave themselves. Still, it was surprising and on a short notice.

''Did we do something wrong?'' Dru asked, concern in her eyes.

''No,'' Julian said. Boy was that a lie. They have all done something wrong. Especially he. Falling in love with his parabatai, watching her being with his brother of all people. So close and so far away.

''It's about Kit. He is a Herondale after all. They need to talk to him I guess and there is something else happening in Faerie.''

''When is something NOT happening in Faerie.'' Emma rolled her eyes.

''Anyways before they get her-'' Before Julian could finish a portal opened in the middle of the kitchen and Jace and Clary stepped out.

''See? A few cups broken but pretty much nailed it. Told you I am way better than before.'' Clary said as she adjusted her hair.

''Thank the Angel it is not lake Lynn,'' Jace replied. Everyone looked stunned from the sudden appearance and the chaos the power wave left in the kitchen. Julian's kitchen. Emma felt a mild panic attack as she looked toward him. Like Clary said it was just a few broken cups, but nonetheless, things got broken. She swallowed hard before deciding on what to do with a potential reaction.  
Mark was still banned from the kitchen after that one fail he had when he was left alone with the kids. He was allowed in only when he was under the supervision of Emma, Cristina or Julian. The kids were not trusted as well for obvious reasons.

''Wow, did not expect all of you in the kitchen. Ours is not as used as this one so I guessed it would be vacant.'' Clary explained.

''Not that is not used. It is that we avoid it because it has more similarities to an experiment lab than a kitchen.'' Jace corrected and looked around. ''I see you also have friends over.'' He nodded towards Kieran.

''Yeah friends is a broad way to describe it,'' Emma said. She smiled at Clary and they hugged. They weren't the best of friends, but their relationship was special nonetheless. After a short introduction, they got to business. Jace was alone with Kit while Clary stayed with the girls in the kitchen.

''How long will you be staying?'' Emma asked.

''Not long. We need to go to Faerie soon.'' Clary answered.

''Why?'' Livvy asked. ''I mean, there have been some rumors that it's getting quite dangerous there. Talks about Shadowhunters not being able to use their runes and weapons.''

''That is why the Clave is sending someone who has survived hell after almost getting to rule it.'' Clary joked.

''Really?'' Cristina asked.

''That and the fact that I and Jace have extra angel blood. And I make portals. No need to get warlocks involved.''  
Cristina has always been intrigued by Clary. A Morgenstern by blood that killed her brother and saved the world. Someone who was as new to the Shadow world as Kit. Even less. Kit is aware of both worlds. Clary never was. She wondered how someone could do that in a few months and be fine with it. Maybe she wasn't. Nobody really ever was. You just had to move on. To younger generations, Jace and Clary were heroes and someone to look up to. To the Clave, they were a valuable asset. Clary was practically a co-author of the Grey Book. Her runes were helpful and innovative and they would be added to the Grey Book. Something given by the Angel to the Nephilim, something that could still be changed and improved.

''How are things over here?'' She asked and looked around. ''Anything new or?''

''Nope!'' Emma said in a high pitched voice. Clary gave her a slit-eyed look in a mocking way.

''If you say so.'' She also responded in pitched voice. Both of them laughed.

-

Emma hadn't realized that when Clary said they need to leave soon it was actually _that_ soon. As in a few hours. Before they left Clary went to Julian's study to say her goodbye. She didn't get to talk much to him and it felt it would have been rude to leave without a notice. Especially after breaking a few cups.  
She also felt particularly sorry for the Blackthorn family. It was her brother that had brought all this sorrow and pain upon them. It was her own blood that caused all this trouble and forced them to fend for themselves and do things that no child should ever be forced to do. Kill your own father. Even though Clary had aided the Angel into murdering her own father, she didn't love him. He didn't love her either. Valentine only loved Jace and Jocelyn. Even though his love had been toxic and abusive. To him, Clary was the reason why Jocelyn left him, and to Clary, he was the one who had forced Jocelyn to leave him. She didn't mind him dying. This is what scared her. She didn't care. She was relieved that it had finally happened.

It was different with the Blackthorns. They were family. They were wholesome, loving, caring family. And they were destroyed in the blink of an eye. By her brother. By her family. By the family, she had always wished for but never gotten. And then she killed her brother with her own bare hands in cold blood. The only fear she felt was when she thought that the Heavenly fire hadn't worked. She wasn't famous for killing demons, but for killing half of her blood-related family. She was cruel in the eyes of some, but a hero and a brave Nephilim in the eyes of the majority.

She knocked on the half-opened door. ''May I?'' She smiled at Julian who was sitting in front of his canvas, drawing. He smiled.

''Sure.'' He told her. Clary looked around, spinning in a circle.

''Impressive.'' She told him. '' Though my drawing room is bigger.'' She joked friendly.

''You have one too?''

''Yes. Sometimes my mom joins me.'' Julian nodded. She could feel that it was an awkward situation. And he could tell that she was feeling sorry and trying to say something.

''You don't have to try to help us that much, you know,'' Julian told her.

''You also don't have to carry the world upon your shoulders, Julian.'' She told him, a serious tone in her voice. She was so tiny, yet Julian could feel how fierce and strong she was. After all, she fought in two wars. ''And I honestly don't remember helping you.'' Julian was about to speak when he realized she meant him. Julian. Not the rest. Just him. He got suspicious and confused.

''You and I have done things we never thought we would ever do. All of us have. But to me, it seems like only you and I have been called out as ruthless.'' Julian looked at her curiously. This was getting interesting, but at the same time, he felt Clary knew much more than she gave away. ''Sometimes it is the most ruthless people that call you ruthless. Not because you are, but because they want you to be like them. So that they can know that they are not alone. That there is someone as messed up and broken as them. It is more a message to themselves than to you. A way to comfort their fears.'' She remembered her brother and his words. About her ruthless heart. About her being like him. A Morgenstern. He was not alone. She still wasn't sure if he had been right after all. She did manipulate him into thinking that she had given up and that she would stay by his side and then watched him as he died in her mother's hands. Feeling nothing. Maybe she was cruel. Maybe she lived up to her Morgenstern name. She didn't like it though, she didn't want it. She feared it. Maybe this had been the only difference.

''You don't have to feel sorry for all the loss. It is not your fault.'' Julian told her.

''But it could have been prevented sooner if I hadn't made the selfish decisions I made to protect my family and Jace. I had opportunities to kill my brother, but didn't do so because Jace would have died as well.''

''So that is why you stabbed Jace with a sword. It doesn't add up.'' Clary smiled.

''I just knew. I hoped it would work. And it did. But there were consequences nonetheless.'' Julian looked at her as Clary try to find his eyes. ''If I could go back in time I would have done the same. Let him go, keep Jace safe. Lie to everyone just so that I get Jace back. I would be an egoist, even though there was no other way, even though I had no choice.''

''What are you trying to say.''

''To trust me.'' Julian was not sure how to react to that. ''Don't trust the Clave. You can trust me.''

''Why?''

''Do you really believe every rune I create goes into the Gray Book?'' She laughed. ''There was a time when the Clave was more than ready to give me away. Me and Jace both. To Sebastian. There was a time when I was Valentine's daughter, a Morgenstern, bound to burn the world down with them. But now I am an asset. Now they need me. They have my trust, but I still don't have theirs.''

''I just don't know why you would assume that I would trust the Clave after what happened to my family and Emma.'' Clary smiled.

''Don't trust them, but respect them. Or at least the traditions of the Shadowhunters. You have a choice, Julian. You can prevent or cause damage. It is up to you. Just remember that there will be consequences based on your actions and the outcome might not turn out in your favor after all.''

Julian got really suspicious of her words and felt like they perfectly described his current problems and thoughts. His deepest, darkest thoughts. ''Just don't do anything that would hurt a lot of people. Something that will be unforgivable. Something that will hurt the people you love most. Anger and hatred is not the way. Look at Sebastian and Valentine. There is always another way.''

''I really wish you were right.''

''That is why I would like to help. I owe you.''

He wanted to tell her she didn't. She didn't cause it. She didn't have to be the one to pay for what her family had done to his. Instead, he just smiled, knowing he had gotten himself an ally. A powerful and reliable one.

''Thank you, Clary.''


End file.
